Is this it? Erin's Adventures in the Real World

Unfinished business

2011-10-23T19:22:00.000-04:00

I've been avoiding this for months. But here it is. Time to finally acknowledge that my time blogging is done - for now at least.

When I started writing this blog in 2006 - FIVE YEARS ago - I was a new college graduate working at a job that did not challenge me one bit, I was in an unhealthy and - if I was honest- unhappy relationship, I was broke and I was really in shock with the reality of my real world. Writing became an escape, a challenge, a purpose, a way to meet new people, an inside joke, a chronicle of my life, a way to keep in touch with friends and family, and an exciting part of who I was.

At some point, that started changing.

I noticed it on others' blogs first - some shared concerns about privacy, but most went through a slow drop in actual writing as more and more blogs turned into Tumblrs featuring recipes, internet memes, GPOYW and little else.

My pseudo-pseudo-pseudo celebrity was fun - until it wasn't. Let's just say there was some fan fiction featuring my blog that freaked.me.out.

Then the realization that I couldn't truly share stories of my life with others - because my stories weren't just my own. My family experienced some major changes, and the openness of this platform made me feel vulnerable and even angry to think of others taking part in my life virtually. [suggested reading: Lemmonex's take on this very topic]

I found a job and it turned into a career. I'm at a company that I love with clients I value. Walking down the streets, wondering how a client would feel reading my words made me uncomfortable. Not because I'm embarrassed of the things I say, do or feel, but because these moments started to feel more personal, sacred and private. Mine.

I feel so conflicted about closing this chapter. I made friends, was a part of a community, and felt so much love and support from so many people that there will always be a part of me that will miss this space. Especially when new friends - who are wholly unaware of the blog - tell me, "You're life Erin, I swear, you should be a sitcom."

Confirmation that no matter how much things change, they really stay the same.

Things I Look Forward to in Mexico

2011-05-18T01:04:00.000-04:00

We leave in a few hours for Mexico for Mr. Perfect's brother's wedding.
Currently looking forward to:

Endless "No guys, I got the tab" jokes at our all inclusive hotel
Sand and sun
Practicar-ing my espanol
The WEDDING!
Exploring Tulum
Sleep
Not working

Since We Last Talked

2011-05-15T23:08:00.000-04:00

I went to Philly.

And explored this crazy collaged alley.

And generally had a fabulous time wandering around the city with some great gals. And eating. A lot. And perhaps decided to take advantage of a $4 pint AND shot deal. For ... perhaps longer than would be advisable. And confirming that with wiz is the only way to go for the cheesesteaks.

My Weekend in Numbers

2011-04-12T19:23:00.001-04:00

Mr. Perfect and I arrive in KC Thursday evening. We have a few sweet unscheduled hours before the madness begins. What was originally scheduled as a visit to volunteer for the awesome Giggle with Gilda thrown by Gilda's Club KC has now turned into OMGWEDDINGPLANNING!!1!!!11!!1!!!!

Now our weekend involves:

2 cities

6 venues

2 bridal appointments

2 friends travelling to KC to meet up

1 meeting with a priest who yelled at me for living in sin (already. He actually yelled "GOOD GOD!" how very Alanis Morissette Ironic. And mostly? HOW. FUN!)

1 engagement party (yippppieeee)

1 bridal shower (not mine - also yipppieeee!! Can't believe I happened to be home for this one!!)

annnnnd 1 celebrity to wrangle (Jason Sudeikis from SNL!).

Ya know.

Just your normal trip home.

I invited my friend to place a bet on how often/when I cry.

Minimum once a day was her starting point. HA!

I WILL OWE THIS TRIP!!!!!

I feel like this quite often

2011-03-30T08:45:00.000-04:00

At yoga... while dancing... while walking... at work...

via Cup o Joe

Marriage Prep

2011-03-29T17:08:00.001-04:00

From Mom: I found this document that you should read before you visit with father. I think it will help you prepare for his questions.

http://www.usccb.org/laity/marriage/cohabiting.shtml

Which I then shared with Mr. Perfect. He read it (I have not). He then gave me the download:

Andrew: In general, those in cohabiting households are more independent, more liberal in attitude and more risk-oriented than non-cohabitors.
me: oh boy

Mr. Perfect: i think that comment is supposed to illuminate how dangerous cohabitation is

me: but really it makes me think we're better off

lol

Mr. Perfect: whereas i read that and think, yea that totally describes us

me: lol

Mr. Perfect: here's what we should prepare for

Mr. Perfect: Catholic marriage is about coming together, being faithful to each other, not ever getting divorces, making babies, recognizing that marriage makes Jesus love us, agreeing to teach our kids about our same values, and especially to us, reflecting on why we decided to cohabit and realize the risks we brought upon our marriage

oh boy...

Your Daily Awkward

2011-03-28T17:07:00.000-04:00

My dad has some really interesting cousins that I don't know very well.
They are really interesting.

Like, a few weeks ago when my dad went to a funeral, everyone received a parting gift of a nude self-portrait done by the deceased.

I'll let that one sink in.

So my dad's cousin called my mom the other day and, among other items, had this conversation:

Cousin: So what are Ann's wedding colors?
Mom: It's Erin.
Cousin: Oh, well, I like to make blankets for people for their wedding, do you know what her wedding colors are?
Mom: I don't think they have decided yet, it's a little early.
Cousin: Oh, well, do you know if she's a virgin? If she is, I'll make a white blanket.
Mom: I... don't... know.

I don't even have commentary. I just can't. Words. There are none.

I called Mr. Perfect immediately to share the news about our gift.
He was silent for at least 30-45 seconds.
Then said, "You are lying."
"No I'm not!" I said.
"Is this one of those things where I'm supposed to guess which part of the story is true and which is a lie?"
"No. This is my family."

Who needs a wedding planner?

2011-03-22T19:11:00.000-04:00

When you have a Momma that will make in-person visits to venues (how retro!) and then not only call you to update you on the details, but also enter them in your obsessive compulsive Type-A spreadsheet without you asking.

Moms. FTW.

Or, as Mr. Perfect said:

Sent at 6:52 PM on Tuesday

Mr. Perfect: that was so sweet of your momma to do that for us

me: I know!

Best part of the this whole wedding thing other than, you know, coming out of it with a marriage with Mr. Perfect? The awesome displays of love and support from friends and family. Engagement parties, handmade/edited cards (I must share pics), perfect sentiments, generous offers, and tons of phone calls and emails with people will to listen. Love it.

Truth

2011-03-18T19:51:00.002-04:00

I don't need this reminder yet, but I'm sure at some point it will be valuable:

You are the only people that will look back on your wedding day as a defining moment in your lives, so why waste your time worrying about the opinions of people for whom it is just another party? - Ruffled

I'm Flyyyyyyying!!

2011-03-17T08:55:00.000-04:00

Remember when I said we were going to a trapeze class and then never mentioned it again?

Well, we did it.

And it was awesome.

I even started to become convinced that I had a natural trapeze ability.

I think it was really just the fact that yoga classes have made me better at listening to commands and quickly responding.

It was scary, it was hard, it gave me blisters.

The next day, I wasn't really sore. But the Monday after? I was ready to die.

I was able to complete a catch with an instructor! An awesome ending to class as it was my final turn.

Mr. Perfect almost completed his catch. The timing with the catcher was just off by a few seconds - they arched at different moments, barely missing each other.

After your class they offer you the chance to buy 1 get 1 free if you book right then and there. We didn't go for it. While flying trapeze was really fun and exciting, I can't really see myself getting super into it. This might be more of a one and done thing.

I highly recommend it.

Dinner of Champions

2011-02-28T23:08:00.003-05:00

Honey Bunches of Oats
Mimosa
11pm on a Monday

Also known as "Reasons Mr. Perfect Shouldn't Go on Work Trips."

I'm Not Ready!

2011-02-26T19:05:00.000-05:00

So there is the story, but, of course, as with any story there are the many stories behind the story.

Before I get to the best part of our engagement that wasn't the actual engagement, also known as The Best Story Ever, some random details and facts.

Valentine's Day was not only a good cover for romantic notions, it is also Mr. Perfect's parents anniversary and my grandparents anniversary.

There weren't just two signs when he proposed. I totally missed a sign directing me to the living room. Not surprising at all.

In my defense, I could already see the flowers and was a bit distracted with my purse and packages.

So about this ring...
While I had input and we talked and shopped together for a ring, the decision was ultimately Mr. Perfect's. I don't remember exactly how this all came about, but I knew I wanted an antique setting and something a bit different. I've always loved art deco style jewelry, so we were focused in on rings from the '20s and '30s. There were plenty we both liked on Etsy, but I think we both wanted to be able to look at them in person.

Shell and I found Pippen on our trip to NYC, and honestly I just felt like that was the place we would find my ring. Mr. Perfect and I stopped in Pippen and several other antique jewelry stores during our trip to NYC last summer, but never found anything we both really loved.

In December we were both in New York for work and made the requisite Pippen stop. We found several contenders, but, as the sales girl finally pointed out, there was one ring I kept going back to over and over.

It seemed to be what we were looking for - an old diamond flanked by three sapphires on each side, as well as three small diamonds that just add an incredible sparkle. More important to me was the hand engraving on the platinum band and around the setting.

After we both felt like we had done all the looking we could, we stepped outside the shop. Then quickly realized I didn't know what size ring I was (used to be an 8) so jumped back in for a quick sizing (6.75 - apparently I carry my weight in my fingers?).

When we got home we looked at one more ring at a jewelry store next to my office. I had randomly found it one day when I took a walk around the block for a break. It was a really gorgeous setting, but the thing that surprised me a bit was it was actually a bit too blingy for me. The diamond was around a karat, maybe bigger, and it was sparkly as can be. But... it lacked the personality of the other ring.

Mr. Perfect and I traded notes and decided we both felt like we had looked at enough rings that we knew what we both liked and were looking for.

And then... that was it! I had to bury my type-A I'll send you a reminder email about that-self and just trust Mr. Perfect would get something we would both really love and cherish.

And he did.

The Pippen ring it was.

Some better pictures of the ring -

Before we get to The Best Story Ever, here's a quick tidbit for you - the night before Mr. Perfect proposed, we had dinner with his dad at my aunt and uncle's house. And for about an hour my aunt grilled us on when we were getting married, going so far as to start picking dates for us. It was hilarious that night (and a perfect example of a Mr. Perfect's ability to roll with the punches, whatever they may be) - but even more so the next. I loved calling my aunt and telling her the news - such a funny coincidence, especially since Mr. Perfect already had his plans for the next day and his dad also knew that the ring was purchased (in December).

So kids.

The Best Story Ever.
One of the first questions people ask when you are recently engaged is "Did he ask your parents??"

Oh yes he did.
And awesomely, my parents acted in a way that (FINALLY) shows this whole awkward thing is genetic.

So in January, once Mr. Perfect had the ring in hand (after being sized and shipped to his office), he emailed my parents to let them know he would like to talk to both of them and to let him know a time that worked.

He had the good timing to send this the day of the BB King concert we had bought our parents tickets to for Christmas. This meant when I was talking to my mom he was able to throw out there that he had emailed them to remind them of the concert that night.
Tricky.

So my mom replied and agreed to talk the next night at 6pm.

This works well for Mr. Perfect as I usually get home after 7.

So the next night, 6pm rolls around.
Mr. Perfect calls.
My mom answers.
My dad isn't home.
Typical (my family isn't known for uh, timeliness).
Mom says they'll call back.
Dad gets home.
Mom tells him, "Do you think this is the call? Do you think this is it?"
"Oh, I don't know! " Dad replies, with panic. "What are we going to say?"

So they talked it through.
And Mom gets ready to call Mr. Perfect back.
And then, in a scene out of an 8th grade slumber party, my Dad yelps, "Wait!! I'm not ready!"

My dad.
My strong, manly, macho, unquavering dad.
My dad whose photograph of himself shaving in the woods while he was in the National Guard, was ran in the paper with the caption "True Grit."
My dad who has a record of staging stake outs to (successfully) capture thieves of his tools and property.

My dad is also the Dad of two (perpetually) little girls and three boys.
And mostly, in this situation, the Dad of one Erin Maureen the Baby Queen, also known in some circles as The Caboose (being the youngest and all).

So yeah.
The man needed a minute.

So they talked.
Some more.
And they were ready.

As my mom said, they wanted to get it right.

So they called Mr. Perfect back.
And as his phone rang, I walked in the door.

So they talked, the three of them, about the concert from the night before as I heckled, "Why are you talking to my parents?"

He explained he wanted to know how the concert went, I thought he was being sweet, and that was it.

They talked for 5 or 10 minutes.
Then said goodbye.

And, as my mom explained - she looked at my dad and they collectively said, "What the hell was that?"

Later in the week, Mr. Perfect called back -alone, from his car- and they had the other talk. And, as he likes to point out, Mom cried more than I did.

Our Friends, They Get Us

2011-02-24T19:53:00.002-05:00

From the invite to an engagement party our incredible friend is throwing for us:

Come on out and celebrate our friends' future together. Tons of fun, Erin and Andrew style. Strange gifts and embarrassing moments are encouraged!

Hey, Remember That?

2011-02-21T18:28:00.000-05:00

Hey Mr. Perfect? Remember when I bought you spices from MarketSpice, including a small amount of the hottest red pepper they sell?

The remember how months later you decided to put some of that pepper on broccoli and roast it because I love spicy roasted broccoli?

Then you didn't try any, but I snagged a bite?

And then I instantly started spewing it on my plate as my mouth and tongue was engulfed in flames?

So you poured me a glass of milk, real quick like, which I, real quick like, discovered it was spoiled and spit out?

Remember?

And then my mouth was too hot to eat and you suggested I eat some (of the yes, extra mild) salsa you made?

Remember when all that happened?

Yeah. That was fun.

I still think you're the best chef around.

Showed Up

2011-02-19T13:48:00.000-05:00

So I thought I was totally going to show up Mr. Perfect with my gift to him this Valentine's Day - flying trapeze class. (ya, know, 'cause he makes my heart soar and shit)

I didn't quite show him up. Not quite.

But class is today.

Off to find him snug but comfortable pants... this should be an entertaining shopping trip.

(also, please note I am truly scared of heights. We'll see how this goes..)

Showing Your Age

2011-02-19T10:07:00.000-05:00

You know you are getting old when you regret the dinner you ate from KFC slash Taco Bell more than the drinks you consumed the night before.

Also, I got a 24oz beer when my friends got 40's.
Growth I tell ya, growth.

That said, the order I placed at the KFC slash Taco Bell was epic.
For eight people I ordered:
16 piece bucket
2 extra biscuits (it came with 6 or 8...)
1 large mac and cheese
2 mashed potatoes and gravy
1 coleslaw
corn (which was like 4 ears of corn on the cob on a stick... odd)
2 baja chicken chalupas
1 beef chalupa
1 supreme nachos, extra beans
Oh, and 1 double down. (which everyone shamefully loved)

Yes, I pulled a Molly. But at least it was less than $60!

I feel like I should mention we started the night with celebratory cupcakes (yeaaaa!! engagement cupcakes!!) in Dupont Circle before moving on to KFC slash Taco Bell for dinner. And sweet tea vodka with lemonade before dinner and beer.

Annnnd so I ended the night with Pepto - my first time of trying Pepto ever. Because when you find out what it's like to burp a double-chalupa-cupcake-coleslaw-down, you will try that Pepto.

I'm gettin' old, yo.

Also, I love my friends.

You Shook Me All Night Long: A Love Story - 12

2011-02-15T23:19:00.000-05:00

Chapter 12: Let Me Sleep On It

Every year Mr. Perfect's dad makes a work trip to D.C. for about a week in the Spring. It's always a fun week filled with lots of good food, drinks and laughs. This year, I proposed we spend Valentine's evening at Nelly's (my favorite sports bar in D.C. that happens to be a gay bar) or another bar where we could eat some grub and watch the KU-KSU game. After all, Mr. Perfect and his Dad are huge KU fans and I'm mostly a KSU fan when I have someone reminding me they are playing KU.

Mr. Perfect asked if that was what I really wanted to do. Well, sure, sounds like fun.
But, it turns out, he said he had already made reservations for dinner. He would cancel if I wanted him too...
I thought about it for a moment, but appreciated his thoughtfulness at making the reservations and thought we should stick with it.

Monday morning came, and I woke up excited to give Mr. Perfect a card explaining my Valentine's day gift for him - a flying trapeze class!

He surprised me with a sweet card, I packed him lunch, and we were off to the salt mines.

I had a great day at work. Flowers were everywhere, people were happy, and, after telling my coworker that I had begged Mr. Perfect for a heart shaped pizza but he insisted on taking me to a nice restaurant for dinner, she bought me a heart shaped pizza.

As if it could get better, we had a celebration at work featuring champagne and sweet treats.

It was a good day.

I headed back to my desk from the celebration around 6:30 and got a call from Mr. Perfect. He was already home.
I asked if he was driving to dinner and just wanted to pick me up on the way to the restaurant.
He told me it was Valentine's day and I should come home and ~~make out~~ hang out with him.

I laughed.
It was true.

I shut it down and quite literally bounded home.

As I walked up to our apartment door, I turned off my iPod, fumbling with the package I got in the mail and my headphones. Grabbing the door handle to find it was locked, I dug in my purse and finally found my keys.

Only as I was pushing the door open did I realize there was a massive sign - at eye level - with RED lettering - on the door.

This is one of those moments that really confirms every fear Mr. Perfect has about my lack of awareness about my surroundings.

I let out a big "awwwww" and walked the rest of the way into the apartment. From the door way I could see there were flowers on our coffee table in the living room.

Flowers as in multiple bouquets.

I walked in to the room to see my handsome Mr. Perfect sitting, waiting for me, and a really beautiful table with a dozen red roses, sunflowers, a dozen white roses, tulips, another small bunch of flowers, conversation hearts and purple flowers scattered all over and a big sign in the middle that said "I LOVE YOU!"

I kicked off my shoes and dropped my purse and peeling off my coat, telling him how awesome he was and how beautiful everything looked.

He stood up and gave me a sweet hug and a kiss.

He told me some of the conversation hearts said LOL.

As I peered at them, I found one that said NO WAY and laughed at the great timing for finding a heart that said what I was thinking.

We stood there for a moment, then he told me that the sign was actually a card, and I should really read it.

I picked it up and unfolded it.

Nothing.

I looked up at him in confusion.
I looked back at the faux card.
I looked at him.
He said, "Well, it's a card, you should shake it to see if anything comes out."

(Now would be a good time to explain that every single time Mr. Perfect gets a card - from me or otherwise - he immediately pulls it out of the envelope and shakes it, then looks at me with disappointment that "there's no check!")

Yeah.

So I shook it.

And, shockingly, nothing came out of the "card" that I had just opened.

I looked up at him again, with confusion.

He was staring at the table.

"Are you sure nothing fell out??" He asked, still staring at the table.

So I looked down.

I should say, I finally looked down.

And sitting there, as it had been for the past two minutes as I fruitlessly shook an empty card, was a small black box with a gorgeous ring.

I looked back at Mr. Perfect.

Holy Shit.
This is happening.

He looked at me and told me everything I already knew.

Then he said, (just as we had been laughing and saying to each other for weeks - ever since he sang it to me on a night someone asked when we were going to get engaged and I replied, "Well, he told me 'forever's gonna start tonight,' soo....."), "Forever's gonna start tonight."

And he dropped to a knee and asked me a question I only knew only had one possible answer.
"Yes."

Followed by a whispered, "this is weird!"

Because look folks, if there's one thing we've learned it's that you can stop the awkward.
Can.
Not.
Stop.
It.

We laughed and hugged, Mr. Perfect went to the fridge and pulled out the cava we bought the night before - a fortuitous tasting at our local wine shop.

We toasted to Us, Mr. Perfect queued up the music and we danced and we sang.

What does a newly engaged couple dance and sing to?

Meatloaf. Naturally.

And yes, he loves me, he's gonna love me forever, he needs me, he's never gonna leave me, he's gonna make me so happy for the rest of my life, he's gonna take me away and make me his wife.

We cranked that shit. And laughed and jumped and toasted and laughed and kissed and sang all the best parts and danced.

Then my Mr. Perfect DJ'd us on over to the main show. The big event.

And we did what we do at weddings, at bars, at home. We slowed danced the hell out it. And those elusive tears that were too overwhelmed to make an appearance 5 minutes ago?
They showed up, right on cue.

A montage of the moments that have made us US played through my head.

"Did you ever think, when you sang this to me that you'd be here today?" he asked.

"No." I laughed.
"Did you ever think I wouldn't cry until you played AC/DC?" I asked.
"No." he laughed.

A Sweet Story

2011-02-14T12:14:00.000-05:00

I made the mistake of listening to this 2:21 long story from NPR at my desk.
Oh god, it's so painful and then so, so beautiful.
Right when you think you have made it through without too much coughing and clearing your throat of those non-tear tears, he kicks it into high gear with the "So, kids..." and I melt into a puddle of moop.

A sloppy Valentine's puddle of moop.

Just perfection.

Truth

2011-02-14T07:00:00.000-05:00

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. - Arrigo Boito

Happy Valentine's Day

Hamface girl

2011-02-11T12:40:00.000-05:00

Things like this make me think, yeah, kids. I get why people keep having them.

Also, hamfacegirl.com exists. You bet your internets it does!

From Carlovely.

Words to Live By

2011-02-09T17:39:00.001-05:00

From a training session today:

There is always going to be someone more annoying than you.

I would love to see this ad

2011-02-09T10:18:00.000-05:00

Sinned?
There's an app for that.

I'm really hope the interwebs are flooded with fake ads for this one shortly.

I Kissed a Greek and I Liked It

2011-02-05T20:57:00.000-05:00

So I have this obsession.
There is a tiny greek deli (called The Greek Deli) super close to my office. It's a tiny place, wide enough for a line of people to work their way to the counter to order while another steady stream of customers squeezes out with goods in tow.
No tables, no chairs.
Just absolutely incredible food and a line that stretches to the street - rain, sun or snow.

The portions are insane. If I get a $10 lunch special - say, moussaka, it comes with orzo (YES), green beens with stewed tomatoes and beans, a side salad and bread. It will weigh about 4 pounds and feed me for 3 meals or so.

I visit The Greek Deli ... often.
As in, my coworkers make fun of me and Kostas (the owner who has a rep of being Soup-Nazi-ish for briskly yelling "Next!"), well, Kostas and I are certainly friendly.

Kostas usually serves up a few daily specials, but my go-to quick and so cheap ($3.95) meal is soup. Avgolemono and lentil soup are made fresh daily, but the real treat - oh god the real treat is when Kostas makes green split pea soup.

Yup.
I never in my life thought I would be admitting that mushy-looking-split-pea-straight-outta-the-Exorcist-green soup makes me do cartwheels.

But there's a problem.

Kostas doesn't make My soup on any sort of regular schedule.
And the real problem was for weeks I would run over to grab lunch around 1 or 1:30, only to find they did have split pea that day, but were already sold out.

The last time that happened, I gave Kostas my saddest puppy eyes and he immediately reached under the bubbling chafing dishes of awesomeness to pull out his own super secret stash of the soup and dish me up some from it. YEAH HE DID.
And he did it while the guy working the register openly complained, "What? Kostas! You never give your food to me! What is this?"
YEAH.

So after another week of split pea madness, I asked Kostas if he would pleasepleaseplease make it for me on Thursday.
And he immediately asked me if I prefered the yellow or green peas.
Green, please.
And you WILL come tomorrow?
YES KOSTAS!

Thursday came.
And I had back to back meetings from 11 to 1.
Crap.

Thank god my 11 ended early.
I had 10 minutes.
I ran to The Greek Deli, and eagerly got in line.
Happily, as it is quite embarrassing, I struggle to articulate my level of excitement.
I looked up at the specials board and saw it. And at that moment, Kostas looked up and saw me.

"I make it! I make it for you!" he said.
"KOSTAS! I KNOW! I love you!!" and at that, I spread my arms, and he waved me to him. As he stepped around the counter, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his bearded cheek.

"How many you need?"
"Five orders!"

"wow, it must be good" the girl behind me said, in a total "I'll have what she's having moment." (and she did)

I never in my life thought I would be so obsessed with split pea soup, let alone kissing an older Greek gentleman for making it for me.

I never would have thought it, but sometimes life gives you split pea soup, and when it does, you just have to roll with it and kiss the Greek.

(p.s. by the time I left, the line was out the door and 10 deep on the sidewalk)

Punny

2011-02-01T19:25:00.000-05:00

To all my friends in the Blizzard of Oz, there's snow place like home... there's snow place like home...

Also, snowmageddon is so last year.

Working From Home Means

2011-01-27T21:22:00.000-05:00

Lots of random, small meals.

Laughing at Mr. Perfect's professional phone tone.

Singing "Thundersnow" to Mr. Perfect in the tune of AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" - and yes, I heard/saw thunder and lightening snow last night! And yes... I have a thing for singing AC/DC

Fighting with my blanket and laptop until I remembered I had a Snuggie. Wow. Life imitating infomercials imitating life. I could literally hear the "sick of fighting with blankets?"

Getting really, really angry about this dumb ass.

Being told, "you put the whore in hormones!" ahh, to be snowed in with PMS! hahahaha! Sucks to be Mr. Perfect!

Mr. Perfect making awesome chili for dinner.

Getting a snow-ton accomplished for work.

State of the State of the Union

2011-01-25T22:41:00.000-05:00

Highlights:
Telling Mr. Perfect we should drink every time the President says "jobs." Since I was still cooking dinner, I just hollered "jobs!" each time instead.

It taking about 2 minutes for Mr. Perfect to tell me, "STOP SAYING JOBS!"

Watching Joe Biden. Always.

Realizing Obama now says 'Merrica. I like it.

Hearing we are going to win the future. Holy shit. WE ARE GOING TO WIN THE FUTURE!

Watching Kathy Procter turn to the guy to her left, then the guy to her right to say, "That's me!" When the President was telling her story. Oh god Kathy, I die of your cuteness!

Watching Speaker Boehner tear up. Touching.

Sharing memories with Mr. Perfect of watching the State of the Union as a kid and looking for my uncle. It was so. cool.

Learning the story of Center Rock and Plan B.

The mixed party seating - ugh, can we never go back to the literal divide down the party line? It was so much better.

Either That, or a Shirt

2011-01-23T22:29:00.000-05:00

Last weekend Mr. Perfect and I made a brunch of crepes for a group of friends. After brunch, we were reminiscing about how, at our Cowboys and Indians housewarming party (because why not), our friend M did dramatic fortune telling slash interpretations of a book of prayers I have. Actually, she started out with a Dan Brown novel, but I walked up, grabbed my antique "Girls Book of Prayers" written by a woman with the first name of Margaret who happened to share my surname, and told M that this would be much better. Obviously.

After all, there is "A Prayer for the Girl of the Streets."

The rest of the night, M would (quite aggressively - it was hysterical) request people ask her a question. After they did, she would flip through the book until they said stop, then move her finger until she said stop, then read the line her finger was on as an answer to the question.

And, for some people, Margaret's answers were disturbing, or disturbingly accurate.

We pulled ol' Margaret off the shelf again last Sunday and everyone took a turn.

For kicks, I asked Margaret when I would be getting engaged.

Her reply?

Basically, bitch, shut yo' mouth!

Seriously.

I just looked it up and the prayer was titled "A Prayer for the Girl to Whom Great Happiness Comes." The line my interpreter friend M landed on?

"Grant, O Lord, that her own happiness may not blind her eyes. May the joy that has come to her increase her sympathy for those who do not share her blessings, who must wait in patience for the fulfilling of their hopes and the answer to their prayers."

Do I even need to say that almost everyone else in the room was single and asking questions about what date to take?

Yeah.

I think I actually blushed at that one.

Bitch slapped via prayer!

Margaret has pretty much become a part of our group of friends. I have a feeling she will be regularly consulted.

Friday night brought an absolutely fabulous time with that same gang. Impromptu karaoke, slapping each other in the face with roses, a birthday celebration, awkward dancing and general inappropriateness.

It also brought this moment of photographic awesomeness - which, due to a well-placed waiter in a white shirt behind me, was promptly declared a sign from Margaret.

The Twee Can't be Contained

2011-01-21T10:55:00.000-05:00

Yes, I heard about this.

And I love it.

Autoblog

2011-01-19T08:43:00.000-05:00

I don't care how many times this has made the rounds on the interwebs.
I can't stop watching it.
The leaning on her dad, the yawn, the dramatic singing, and then, oh god and then the question. The second she asked the question the first thing I thought was - OMG MY UTERUS CAN'T HANDLE THIS - and I wasn't the only one that felt that way.

I Know She's Seducing My Man With Chicken Tetrazzini

2011-01-12T22:41:00.000-05:00

Oh friends.

Once upon a time Mr. Perfect and I had the laziest habit of watching The Soup every Saturday morning before heading to leisurely brunch. It was the life.

Then we cancelled our cable, moved, got cable again with a broken DVR and suddenly I realize I haven't seen the soup in at least 6 months.

The tragedy.

Actually, I suppose it's a good thing we don't walk around yelling, "it's MILEY!" all the time anymore...
Which brings us to Monday.

While we didn't have plans for dinner Monday night, Mr. Perfect went grocery shopping Sunday and bought some ingredients generic enough to go a few ways - onions, mushrooms, a rotisserie chicken, etc.

Which turned into this conversation:

me:what you want for dinner tonight?

5:19 PM Mr. Perfect: idk

any ideas?

5:20 PM me: um, you bought chicken

mushrooms

what else?

Mr.Perfect: flour

peppers

onions

5:23 PM me: ok, let me look at my recipes

i have some soup ones

5:25 PM Mr. Perfect: there are tons of rotisserie chicken recipes

how about buffalo chicken mac and cheese?

5:26 PM me: woah

yum

Mr. Perfect: or chicken chimicungas

5:29 PM me: or

CHICKEN TETRAZINI!

Why chicken tetrazzini?
Because everyone woman knows the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but if you realllly want to seduce a man, you pull out the chicken tetrazzini!

What, you didn't know that?

Need proof?
I happen to have some.

Told ya.

So I poked around a bit on the internets and decided, yes, I'm making my man some CHICKEN TETRAZZINI!
God that's fun to say/type....

So I told Mr. Perfect.

actually yeah

chicken tetrazzini

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/chicken-tetrazzini-recipe/index.html

5:33 PM http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/chicken-tetrazzini

5:37 PM ok, I have a perfect recipe

erin is cooking you dinnnnnah!

So after work and a quick stop at the market to grab some more parmesan, I was on my way to seduce a man.

I got home and started cooking and chopping and roasting some veggies for our side dish (with this chili infused oil I got Mr. Perfect for Christmas and OMG THEY WERE AWESOME). I told Mr. Perfect I had never made chicken tetrazzini before.

We probably yelled it at each other a few times.
CHICKEN TETRAZZINI!

Then, about 30 minutes or so into my cooking, Mr. Perfect asked me what I was making for dinner.
I didn't get it.
After a confusing conversation, I finally realized, he didn't think I was making chicken tetrazzini. Because it was just a joke. It's just something you yell. Why would he ever think it was something we would actually make and you know, eat.
Umm, no, really, chicken tetrazzini is for dinner.

You know, I almost feel like some of the allure of the joke wore off after we actually ate chicken tetrazzini.
But then I remember how fucking delicious it was and how yelling chicken tetrazzini will always make me happy, and honestly, the look on his face when asked, no really, what's for dinner? Yeah, it makes it better.
Plus, once he realized it was really what's for dinner, the "seducing my man" jokes began. Yup. Perfection.

So go make your man some chicken tetrazzini! (or your best friend's man... I don't know what she does with that chicken tetrazzini either!)

I mostly stuck to Martha's recipe, with the addition of onions, garlic, nutmeg and a dash of red pepper flakes. This filled two 8x8 pans perfectly. And yes, I followed Martha's suggestion to freeze one of the pans. One pan was 6 servings for us kids. I workshopped it and at 6 servings it was about 435 calories. That felt awkward. Calorie counting. woah.

Chicken Tetrazzini
Martha Stewart

Serves 8

Coarse salt and ground pepper
6 tablespoons butter
1 pound white mushrooms, trimmed and sliced inch thick
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
3 cups milk
1 can (14.5 ounces) reduced-sodium chicken broth
3/4 cup dry white wine
3 cups grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
1 pound linguine, broken in half
1 rotisserie chicken, skin removed, meat shredded (about 4 cups)
1 package (10 ounces) frozen peas, thawed and drained

Directions

Preheat oven to 400. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil (for pasta). In a large saucepan, melt 2 tablespoons butter over high heat. Add mushrooms, and season with salt and pepper. Cook, tossing frequently, until tender and browned, 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer to a bowl, and set aside.
Make sauce: In same saucepan, melt remaining 4 tablespoons butter over medium heat. Add flour; cook, whisking, about 1 minute. Whisking constantly, gradually add milk, broth, and wine. Bring to a boil; reduce to a simmer, and add 2 cups Parmesan and thyme. Season with salt and pepper.
Cook pasta 2 minutes less than package instructions for al dente; drain and return to pot. Add sauce, chicken, peas, and mushrooms. Toss well to combine. Divide between two shallow 2-quart baking dishes; sprinkle with remaining Parmesan. Freeze (see below) or bake until browned, about 30 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.
To freeze: After placing pasta mixture in baking dishes and sprinkling with Parmesan (step 3), cool to room temperature. Cover tightly with aluminum foil, and freeze up to 3 months.
To bake from frozen: Bake, covered with foil, at 400 degrees, until center is warm, about 2 hours. Uncover, and bake until top is browned, about 20 minutes more. Serve.
To bake from thawed: Thaw overnight in refrigerator. Bake, covered with foil, at 400 degrees, until center is warm, about 30 minutes. Uncover, and bake until top is browned, about 20 minutes.

Read more at Marthastewart.com: Chicken Tetrazzini - Martha Stewart Recipes

I leave you with this.. the REMIX!

Ice, Ice Baby

2011-01-12T08:14:00.000-05:00

You know when you slip and fall on the ice and you think, "Holy shit that was a close call!" Because, yes, you fell, but no, you did not lose any of your (already lost once and half-fake) teeth!

And then an hour later you're sitting at your desk and these random aches and sore muscles are popping up in your shoulder, back, blood and holed up tights knee, and legs.

Yeah, that sucks.

There's a lesson here kids - stay on the snow. Cleared sidewalks are dangerous with their black ice trickery!

Big Plans

2011-01-02T12:37:00.002-05:00

I had big plans. Plans to actually, you know, write again. About the last few months, about Christmas, about 2010 and about 2011.

But then I got sick.

Excuses.
I got 'em.

Last Christmas vs. This Christmas

2010-12-24T13:05:00.000-05:00

Last year, Mr. Perfect's future sister in law told me that Christmas day at the boys' parents house was awesome - everyone gets tipsy at brunch from copious mimosas, followed by naps and present opening.

You know what actually happened?

There was only one bottle of sparkling wine, so everyone stopped drinking mimosas. So... I ... kept... drinking... because someone might as well enjoy them?

So Erin got tipsy from copious mimosas.

Then Erin fell asleep on the couch.

Then Mr. Perfect woke Erin up so the family could open presents.

whoops.

I plan on having at least one partner in crime this year. I've ensured this by purchasing multiple bottles of cava. I'm not going to leave this Christmas to chance.

Merrrrrrrry Christmas!

So I'm in New York

2010-12-09T09:34:00.002-05:00

so fun.

2010-12-02T23:35:00.000-05:00

In March we went to see Jack's Mannequin. We got there early and caught one of the opening acts - fun. and we were hooked.

It was a rare thing that both Mr. Perfect and I loved the music, but they were simply fun. They put on a great show, and even though you could tell no one really knew who they were, everyone dug it.

You might even like fun. and not know it.
A few months after the concert, we heard a this on a commercial for Expedia:

So good.

Anywho, we went and saw fun. again tonight.
At the 9:30 Club again.
Only this time we walked from our apartment.
And this time they were headlining their own tour.
And not only was everyone there to see them, but everyone was singing along.
It was quite the incredible transformation to see - so much can happen in 8 months.
It was awesome to be a part of, in some tiny way. I was, without true cause or reason, proud of them.

(also they have the best merch ever)

Tradition. Sometimes You Don't Know Why You Do It.

2010-11-29T23:23:00.000-05:00

You just do.

Christmas Time Is Here

2010-11-29T23:12:00.000-05:00

Our latest addition:

Perfectly tiny.

Kwanzaa Klaus!

Our sparkly and shiny Nativity.

Annnnd our tree topper.
Of course.

We're ready.

This Will Backfire Some Day. But... Until Then...

2010-11-28T00:03:00.000-05:00

Capping off a great trip home, some of my all-time favorite folks hit up the Brooksider in KC on Friday night. While there were many highlights, my personal favorite was walking up to GDSean at the very end of the night to grab him so we could go home. He just happened to be talking to some chick, so I did was felt natural - yelled "I thought you were talking to me!" and totally bitch slapped him.

The reactions were predictable.

Sean laughed hysterically.
The girl high-tailed it out of there.

Thanks

2010-11-25T12:21:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for this year.

As horrible as it has been in many, many ways for people I love, it has also been a massive reminder that - no matter what - we have each other. We will circle the wagons, will put on our battle gear, and we will fight for each other.

And while I always knew that - that no matter what we had four people looking out for us, and four other people we would always be looking out for. Because in my family, you are your brother's keeper. While I always knew that, because Dad made sure that we always knew that - it's a different story when you move from knowing it, to living it.

And so this year has been a reminder.
A reminder of all the incredible things I have to be thankful for - 8 littles, 5 sibs*, 2 parents and that 1 perfect Mister. And all those other fabulous people that make my life so beautifully blessed every single damn day.

Now, as Mr. Perfect said, we're gonna go gobble till we wobble!

*For those of you who are a bit confused by my math, four siblings plus one Emilie equals 5 siblings

Too Early

2010-11-22T21:23:00.003-05:00

Going home sounds so much better when I leave out the part about a 6:45a.m. flight.

Bleh.

Anywho:

City Livin'

2010-11-21T21:20:00.000-05:00

Right after Mr. Perfect and I moved from Arlington into D.C., I was discussing the new place with a coworker. Gushing, really, about how much we love the apartment, the neighborhood, my walk to work, and so on. Then we started discussing a random ailment that Mr. Perfect was dealing with. My coworker immediately said, "Oh, he got sick after you moved? Man... city livin'."

And a phrase was born.

After I finally stopped laughing at the initial city livin', we decided the phrase really applies to a wide range of daily situations.

You're at the high heel drag queen race and a man walks by with his balls hanging out of his shorts?
City Livin'

You accidentally maim a stranger at Starbucks after bumping into her bag while she was holding newly purchased coffee, which then spills all over her hand?
City Livin'

On your walk to work a man pulling a massive suitcase suddenly changes his path so he is walking right at you, and only 2 steps before you reach him? Then, you turn to watch as he does it again to the girl walking 30 feet behind you?
City Livin'

While walking down the street wearing your "Somebody in Kansas Loves Me" shirt (thanks Melinda!) a man says, "Somebody in Kansas loves you? huh. WELL SOMEBODY IN DC LOVE YOU TOO!"
City Livin'

You walk out of your apartment and a dragon is going down the street?
City Livin'

The stove in your new apartment is too small to fit your pizza stone or large cookie sheet?
City Livin'

You bump into a friend while walking to work and get to chat about your shared weekend plans for three blocks?
City Livin'

You lose your cell phone in a cab*?
City Livin'

The president of France eats chili dogs in your neighborhood?
City Livin'

Instead of a prayer at your friends' Thanksgiving party, do you do Tequila Grace?
City Livin'. Also a parts blasphemos livin' and drunk livin' with a splash of silly livin' - but only if you use a ham chaser like I did. And yes, Tequila Grace is shots of tequila taking before diner while toasting TEQUILA GRACE!

Run into your high school science teacher at Ruby Tuesdays?
Well, probably not really city livin' - unless the town you went to high school in is 1,200 miles away. Then it's totally city livin'.

City Livin' is bad. City livin' is hilarious. City Livin' is uncomfortable. City Livin' is awkward. City livin' is typically not best shared with Mom. City Livin' is fun. City livin' is... well... man, city livin'.

*yeah... I kinda need your phone number..

Guess Who Was Left off the Invite to Thanksgiving?

2010-11-18T10:02:00.002-05:00

This girl.

It's ok, Mom made sure to include Mr. Perfect.

I see how it is...

I CANNOT WAIT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!

They Cut My Beard. And Forced Me to Eat It.

2010-11-12T12:53:00.000-05:00

Some thoughts:

I can't stop rewinding at 1:28 and watching over and over and over.
I love that the beard cutting is considered the more permanent/serious issue over having a marks from a knife pressed against the neck
The newscasters deserve awards for maintaining composure.
Also, this is the Big Story at 11?

Chasing The Dragon

2010-11-07T14:38:00.000-05:00

In preparation for the Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear last weekend, Mr. Perfect and I decided to make a sign that would allow for some quick changes, thanks to the magic of velcro.

After we finished the signs, we headed out to meet with up with friends at a casual dining restaurant one of our pals manages in Chinatown before heading to the rally.

That almost didn't happen - because we walked out of our apartment building and, while chatting with one of our friends we ran into (city livin') a Dragon drove down the street.

A dragon.

A dragon with awesome music and tons of people riding and dancing on it, or walking/dancing down the street with it.

I immediately turned to Mr. Perfect and asked if we could PLEASE GO WITH THEM!

His reaction? "You don't even know where they are going?"

He didn't get that I don't care. I can tell that I want to be where those people are. Plus, they were headed south towards the Mall. Whatever.

He vetoed.

A block later I realized that the Dragon was essentially the exact same thing as the Pied Piper.

Mr. Perfect realized it is shocking I haven't yet joined a cult.

I don't think most cults sound as fun as the Dragon looked - Kool Aide? Yes. Matching Adidas track suits? No thanks.

So we headed to Chinatown instead.

As the troops gathered in the restaurant and paid their tabs, I noticed a guy in a corner booth wearing a Royals hat. Inneresting. Then about five minutes later, as I walked past the table on my way to the restroom, I made eye contact with another guy at the KC table and instantly thought: Holy Shit. That's my high school science teacher.

I kept walking to the bathroom, then told the my friends waiting in line what I had just seen. One of them suggested I go to the booth and ask if they are from Kansas, if they were from Marion (where I went to high school) and then if the man was a teacher at the school. I tried to explain I didn't quite feel like that was really an option since there were only 200 people in my school and 2,000 in the town. I felt a bit more pressure to, you know, remember people.

After I left the restroom I took a different path back to the group, craining my neck so far to catch another glimpse of the booth that I ran right into a man. The man? Oh, just the guy I thought was my teacher. But we were both walking quickly, and said sorry as we kept moving.

I told my group of friends, who insisted I approach him, now standing at the salad bar.

I still wasn't totally convinced it was him, and still could not remember his name. I walked up to the salad bar, got a look at him and decided no. No way.

But then.

But then when he went back to his table, there was some small move or gesture he made and I instantly was back in the second row in Biology class and I knew it was him.

So I walked up to their table. And before I could squeak out "excuse me?" The guy in the cap yelled out my last name.

Yup.

I was so engrossed by the teacher, I forgot his son was just a grade or two below me.

As we chatted, my teacher took a quick break from his salad, looked up, pointed a finger, squinted his eyes and said, "...Erin?"

I said yes.

He returned to his salad.

After I nice catch up, I returned to my friends who were packed up and ready to go.

Hilariously, they were curious as to why I continued to stand and talk to the table after the teacher clearly didn't know me. Ha!

That weirdness pretty much blew my mind. As we left the restaurant and joined thousands of people in the streets, I called my mom to tell her about it.

And by the time I got off the phone, we had already lost everyone in our 10 person or so group.

yeah. It was that nutty.

As we approached the Mall, there was a pretty steady stream of people leaving the Mall. I knew better, but couldn't resist trying to find a way in to the action.
Stupid.
But can I say I did not have one person push or shove me - it was a very polite and happy gathering. Even if there was no room, we couldn't hear anything, and there were no screens in sight.

Somewhere around here - when I realized we couldn't leave. We couldn't go forward, we couldn't go backwards... that we were in a really large group of people ... that it was a political-ish event that some people were strongly against and might feel the need to show through some sort of prank or violence... it was at that point that I turned (my head - all I could move) to Mr. Perfect and told him. I wanted. to. leave. right. now.

It took some time, but I have never been happier to leave a happening place in my life.

I celebrated by changing up our sign:

Then I saw this guy - most appropriate and best timed sign EVER:

I can breathe! I can move! I AM SO HAPPY!

And then, as if I needed more proof that I wasn't actually meant to be watching the Rally, I saw this:

The Dragon.
Hell. Yes.
The Dragon was playing some great music, and had a huge crowd of people staring, smiling, and joining in the dance party.

Occasionally, the MC of the ... Dragon would say a couple words, encourage people to enjoy the day and so on. At one point he explained who they were.
They came all the way from California. To bring the Funk.
That was all.
No signs, no promoting any product, party or person.
Just bringing the funk.

When this character came down into the crowd, a lady asked him how long it took to get from California to DC in the Dragon (sounds like an excellent start to a math problem - if Sue leaves California in a Dragon travelling at ...). He simply explained, "It doesn't matter! We're here!"

To me, this woman sums up joie de vivre. Dance around like crazy while wearing a nude body suit. Hell. Yes.

Best Use of Buttons goes to....

One of the best moments of the afternoon - Mr. Perfect starts laughing and exclaiming how he just saw something he will NEVER see AGAIN.

What could that be?
A ninja. Playing catch. With a dude in an old school tux, complete with tails and top hat, who was riding a very old looking bike.

The highlight of the little game came when the tux man threw the ball - and immediately fell off his bike. You can't do it all, you know?

We finally left the Dragon crew, and wandered towards the Capitol. We were behind the stage and could see the teleprompter, but that was about it.

We called it a day, and happily headed home.

The day was a success. The funk was brought back to D.C.

Not Helpful

2010-11-04T21:57:00.000-04:00

I have some great photos to share from the Rally to Restore Sanity - but Blogger and not getting home until 9pm aren't really helping that happen.

Blergity Blerg

There Was Nothing Else in the House!

2010-11-03T21:26:00.001-04:00

Me: Tonight for dinner I had a no bake cookie, a piece of pizza, chips, two glasses of wine and a half a monster cookie! I'm like a 5 year old with a drinking problem!

Mr. Perfect: Or a 40 year old woman who lives alone.

Hard Work, Finally Paying Off

2010-11-01T22:44:00.000-04:00

This reminds me, I should really explain how we had to give away/sell a third of our belongings when we moved, but I somehow got to keep a huge rubbermaid tub plus two other boxes of costumes. Hmmm...

From a recent invite to a party Mr. Perfect got:

Post Script...anyone I forget to add (like Erin, she has the best costumes..please feel free to forward this to)

Bacon is BACK!

2010-11-01T13:04:00.000-04:00

That's right, Bacon made it home.

An update from my brother:

Bacon is recuperating nicely, although she does have a big puncture wound in her breast. I allowed her to spend the first night in the house, but now she is back in the wild world. She was upset with me Saturday morning when I came home with two dead duck. I explained that it was the season opener, but she thought it was insensitive of me.

We took her trick or trewating last night, and I had a neighbor I never met say, "Bacon! You made it back home!" I shit you not. Next year she is getting a costume!

The Rally to Restore Sanity - Summarized in One Photo

2010-10-30T20:13:00.000-04:00

And the Award for Best Performance as a Tea Bag Goes to..

2010-10-30T19:47:00.002-04:00

My loverly Markkkky!
Yes, those are my friends tea partyin' it up.

Love it.

Bringing Home Bacon

2010-10-28T19:48:00.000-04:00

My brother has a chicken. A chicken named Bacon. Bacon is really my niece Lulu's. They have some strange bond. The chicken lets her hug her.

Anywho, Bacon is quite the chicken.

Bacon was part of my brother's Halloween costume.

Chick Magnet.

The kids love Bacon.

The neighbors love Bacon.

In fact, 4 neighbors have said they are going to get chickens of their own now.

Because yes, my brother lives in a city, not a farm.

But back to Bacon.

When I saw this on my Facebook feed, I about fainted:

Bacon was carried off by the neighbor's dog today, but escaped on foot. Now she is nowhere to be found! I hope she makes it home soon!

With an update later that Bacon was still missing.

So I immediately got to work:

Feel free to spread the word.

Regardless of Bacon's saga, I agree with the neighbor on Facebook that said my brother should write a children's book "My Life with Bacon" or, I think I prefer, "My Little Bacon."

Bacon come back!

We're Not Gonna Protest

2010-10-27T22:54:00.000-04:00

I don't know what it's like where you are, but everyone I know in D.C. is pretty pumped about the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear this weekend.

I only know two people who aren't going this weekend. They both have to work.

A group of my friends has worked hours on their rally costumes. They will be amazing. I can't spoil the surprise.

A girl I know is hosting a Pancakes and Posters party that morning to get people pumped up. I was going to steal the idea, but we live further from the Mall than other friends.

You know what the most incredible part about this entire fervor is?

No one knows what's going to happen.
There's no agenda.
There's no announced speakers or performers.

But, as the woman in this LA Times article said, "... if nothing else, it's gonna be a great show."

At this point, even if there is no show, it's gonna be a great show.

Fail

2010-10-26T22:27:00.000-04:00

I went to the annual DC High Heel Drag Race tonight.
And forgot my camera.
Luckily, plenty of others remembered theirs.
It's an event best explained through pictures.

It's T-SHIRT TIIIIIIMMMMME!

2010-10-24T20:46:00.000-04:00

Yes, I went to a Jersey Shore party this weekend. (with my Justin Beber lookalike Mr. Perfect)

And yes, my hands were quite orange post-makeup application.
And it was an awesome, fist pumping time.

If Stuff White People Liked Were a Movie...

2010-10-19T22:00:00.000-04:00

Then this could have been the closing scene:
Saturday morning.
At the farmer's market.
A girl just finished with yoga class.
Getting Iced by her friends.

Also, It's In Bad Taste

2010-10-14T20:21:00.000-04:00

On Oprah today, she said she, "as a rule, doesn't watch TV."

How fucking self-righteous.

I am disproportionately annoyed by this.

Divine Inspiration, Or, the Time I Dreamt About Marshmallow Fluff

2010-10-11T21:05:00.000-04:00

Yup.
I dreamt about marshmallow fluff the other night.
Yup.
I dreamt that I made brownies, then ate them with marshmallow fluff on top.
That was the entire dream.
No twist, no turn, just awesome fluffy chocolate goodness.

Then tonight, I made my dream come true.
Well, as close as possible considering our oven doesn't work.
Anywho, we walked over to CVS tonight and, as a girl is wont to do, when I saw a lonely looking jar of Nutella, I decided to take it home and keep it company.

Then I saw it.
Right there.
Next to the Nutella.
A jar of marshmallow fluff.

Divine. Intervention.

Soon I had a plan.
And a box of graham crackers.

And two blocks later, we had the best S'mores ever.

Oh, and Happy Columbus Day (we're low-key this year).

That is Not a Dip

2010-10-04T20:53:00.000-04:00

I just bumped into this recipe while looking for the awesome Apple-Cheddar-Squash recipe.

Ummm... this isn't a dip. It is, as my coworker said, "a swirl of meat."

Mary Alice's Hoagie Dip

Prep Time:
25 min
Level:
Easy
Yield:
8 servings

Recipe Tools:

Ingredients

1 medium onion
2 pickled pepperoncini peppers
1/2 head iceberg lettuce
1 large tomato, halved and seeded
1/4 pound deli-sliced genoa salami
1/4 pound deli-sliced ham
1/4 pound deli-sliced prosciutto
1/4 pound deli-sliced roast turkey
1/4 pound deli-sliced provolone cheese
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 10-to-12-inch round loaf Italian bread
8 hoagie rolls, cut into pieces, for dipping

Directions

Chop the onion, pepperoncini, lettuce and tomato into bite-size pieces. Dice the meats and cheese.

Combine the chopped vegetables, meats and cheese in a large bowl. Add the mayonnaise, olive oil, oregano, basil and red pepper flakes and stir until everything is all mixed up and tasty. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Carve out the center of the bread loaf to make a bowl (don't cut through the bottom) and cut the scraps into bite-size pieces. Serve the hoagie dip in the bread bowl, with the extra bread and hoagie rolls to scoop it up. Yummers!

Photograph by Rick Lew

It's been a ride

2010-10-02T15:43:00.000-04:00

The last three weeks have kicked my butt with exhausting awesomeness.
First, I went to Seattle with Shell and the girls for Maddie's two year check up (she's perfect, natch). Which meant I had to work some overtime to get ready to be out of the office for a few days.

Seattle was awesome, as always, but omg traveling with kids is ... well, exhausting awesomeness.
I got back late on a Tuesday night.
Mr. Perfect left Wednesday for Colorado for work. He got back on Friday. We moved Sunday. I worked until at least 9 every night. It was crazy.

The move went mostly well, even though it was sprinkling on and off all day. Our landlord still hasn't given us all the keys we need to the building (mailbox, laundry room.. FRONT DOOR) but we're making it (using the key pad code to get in).

Oh, and hiring people to help us move was the best decision we could have made. We'll never move without help again. Even though one of the guys smelled like rotten vinegar, it was still awesome.

My plan was to take Monday off and start getting settled in, but work ended up being nutty with a few project coming to a head this week - even requiring a quicky trip to NYC (omg, the train is soooo choice - just sad that it's so expensive) - which meant that Mr. Perfect was left to unpack and sort and arrange and unpack and unpack and unpack - alone.

This all came to a head last night when, after walking home from work around 8 (when I promised I'd leave at 6) I got to our building, entered the code, and... it didn't work.
I tried again.
I called Mr. Perfect.
I tried again.
I texted Mr. Perfect.
I tried again.
I double checked the code in my phone.
And tried again. And again.
I left three really awesomely pathetic messages, that increase in desperation as they go along (I know because we listened to them together this morning), for Mr. Perfect.
I sat down on the stoop.

And then, an old man walked up with groceries.
I told him I was new to the building. I told him my apartment number. My name. Mr. Perfect's name. That I just needed to get in and I was locked out and Mr. Perfect wasn't answering the phone and please? Please? PLEASE?

He didn't speak for quite a while.
Then apologetically explained it was the building policy not to let people in.
I could feel it start to happen.
He turned and said he would go knock on our door.
It was starting..
I took a step back, looked up at our apartment. I told him I didn't even know if he was home. I yelled Mr. Perfect's name - my voice catching a bit.
The man walked in the building, door shutting quickly behind him.
I instantly started crying.
How could he not see the last three weeks of pure exhaustion written all over my face? I just. want. to. go. home.

Right at that moment, my phone rang. Mr. Perfect. He heard my yell. I could barely speak, sobbing out that I was locked out. He ran down and got me.

I have never been so happy to be home.
Later on, I was revived by food, drink and time with my Mister.
He, however, was on the verge of his breakdown.
We sat on our futon, staring at the stacks of boxes around us. I had already let alllll that go long ago, when I realized what my workweek was going to be like.
I had, however, forgotten that Mr. Perfect had also been working all week, and has been sick for weeks, and has been the sole unpacker.
All of that came crashing back to me the second he started repeatedly ... moaning? whimpering? "We have too much stuff! I don't want all this stuff! We have too much stuff! I don't all this stuff!"
He was stuck on repeat.
I couldn't help but laugh.

We do have too much stuff.
But we're home.

Thanks, Internets!

2010-10-02T15:12:00.001-04:00

So We're Moving.

2010-09-23T21:17:00.000-04:00

On Sunday.

Since returning home late Tuesday night, I haven't packed anything.
Or thought about packing anything.

But I did call our insurance agent (that's right, I'm responsible and have renters insurance!) and get a lecture about how expensive D.C. is compared to Virginia and how when we are going to have kids we should move to Virginia. "Or Kansas," I replied. But thanks so much for your unsolicited thoughts that will not factor into my move in three days.

Three days.
Shit.

Did I mention? It's 9p.m. and I'm still at work. Due to two looming deadlines, I should work all weekend too. That... won't be happening.

Also? Mr. Perfect flew to Colorado the day after I got back home. He gets back on Friday.

The emotion I feel most right now is summed up by shrugging.

Why? I guess because:
We've been slowly packing away.
We sold a ton of crap.
We hired movers (you are welcome friends that I will not ask to move me! Also, thanks to Carm for teaching me that lesson long ago that "I'm not going to ask my friends to move me because I don't want to move them.").
We don't have to be out of the house until Tuesday. I think.
I remembered to take out the trash today.

I'm more concerned by my lack of concern than anything else.

Eh (shrug).

I Don't Get That One Often

2010-09-21T14:13:00.001-04:00

After giving me directions to the correct area for my train to the airport in Seattle, this went down.

Cop: Where are you from?

Me: D.C.

Cop: I thought you loked uptight.

This One Time, At Our Garage Sale

2010-09-12T21:28:00.000-04:00

We had a ridiculously large garage sale yesterday.
It was also a ridiculously good time.

It started, of course, super early. We advertised for the sale to start at 9a.m. We got up around 7:30 and people were swarming us by 8.

Now is a good time to mention we hadn't priced anything. Or really decided what to sell the non-furniture pieces for. Kinda a mistake when there is a deluge of people asking you how much, how much, how much?

Like when the lady walked up to me with my DVD player - my DVD player we had decided not to sell but Mr. Perfect pulled out and put outside anyway - well when she asked me how much, I totally froze and said $20. She promptly replied that her husband was buying it from "that guy" (Mr. Perfect) who had said it was $5. Damn. That was also the first time I realized Mr. Perfect was undercutting my pricing by at least 75%. And selling my crap (heeey! That's my brand new Nalgene bottle that you picked out with me!)

One year old clippers? Josh and I think $20. Mr. Perfect says $3. THREE. DOLLARS.
There was a lot of WHHHAAT looks flying around.

Anyway, we had a massive swarm of people at 8a.m.
And the first thing, the most popular thing to go?
Mr. Perfect and my old clothes. I had about 6 trashbags full of clothing, including one that had all the old clothes I thought I would donate instead of trying to sell.
However, that morning was so chaotic that I just pulled every bag out. I didn't even have anything hung up when people started going through the bags on their own.
The best sellers? The bag of clothes I was going to donate.
And the things the boys made fun of me for selling - bottles of shampoo, conditioner, bras. Yes, my old bras were hot tickets. I had bra-shame though. When someone asked me how much, I got totally awkward (standard) and gave her 3 for $1.

Even with selling almost all the clothes for $1, and none more than $3, I made $150 in an hour.
One. hour.

I remember looking at my phone after what felt like 3 hours of mayhem to see it was just then 9:05. Wow.

It finally started slowing down a bit around 10 or so.
Around then, the owner of the Mexican restaurant across the street stopped by and started haphazardly grabbing items and stacking them up. He got a nice pile of loot including a huge bottle of nasty wine (white zin) that has been sitting at our house for a few years that he decided he would put on display at the restaurant, then started to offer to resell his stuff to people who walked up and didn't know his pile was claimed. Basically, he was awesome. He hung out and chatted with us for a bit before we helped him take his haul across the street.

An hour or so later, he came back with a woman who works in his restaurant and bought our TV for her. We hung out a bit longer, then he went back to work.

I think around 12 or so a young couple came and started scoping out all the tables we had. It turned out they were in town for the weekend and had promised his sister that they would make a t?able to fit into a corner of her kitchen. Only... they didn't have wood. Or tools. Well, we had both. So for some cash and a 12-pack, they got a coffee table, side table and filing cabinet and the use of Josh's tools. Win-win!

More people came and went, we realized we still had a ton of crap inside (oh yeah, that table! And that one! And the lamps!) and our friend delivered us fresh chips, salsa and queso from the restaurant. Just 'cause.

I offered some to our friends on the other side of the porch - yes, still working on the table - but they weren't hungry.

Then about an hour later he came back, started grabbing more stuff and severely low-balling our prices.
We basically didn't even care by this point. I mean, he wanted our treasure map. Again, to hang up in the restaurant. This man was after my heart.

Oh, and now show be a good time to mention he's Moroccan, so his idea of what the Mexican restaurant should look like was hilarity. Weird wine bottle? Yes! Treasure map? Hell yeah!

After he left, I checked on our carpenter friends. Still there.

So I cuddled up in a gaming chair and went to work on my afternoon nappage. (in the black chair below - still for sale! The restaurant, as you can see, is rightthere)

The day was winding down. We had done some ridiculous damage, but we were pretty surprised that pretty much none of the nicer furniture had sold.

Any worries we may have had about stuff we had left were soon whisked away when our Moroccan friend showed back up and invited us over for drinks as he did one more round through our stuff (in his defense, there probably was new stuff out each time he came by - we were poorly managed). But he must have been able to tell we were pretty comfortable lounging in the lingering sun of a beautiful fall afternoon, because soon he yelled across the street for one of his waiters to deliver margaritas to us. As in, walk them across the street to our yard.

Hell.
Yeah.

As he told us how much he was going to miss us when we moved, I ignored the fact we never eat at his restaurant and I had never seen or talked to him before, and agreed wholeheartedly.

As I sipped my margarita, I looked down and realized I was cuddling with the one thing we had (not that it was for sale) that our friend actually needed. A Mexican blanket. Done and done. (yes, we gave him the banana slicer for free - he earned it with about 15 size-of-your-banana jokes)

Our carpenters (yup, still there) were shocked we were moving from this awesome place.

Basically, it was the best garage sale.
Ever.

Biggest Garage Sale Ever

2010-09-10T22:53:00.000-04:00

You know what happens when you have a group house of 4 people that has been occupied with 8 people over the course of 5 plus years decide to move out and have a sale?

You have the most random-ass garage sale ever. Featuring everything you need to outfit an entire house, with the exception of a bed. Wow.

Seriously.
Two craigslist postings long.

Please come buy our crap.

Slightly Disappointed This Wasn't at the 7-11 on Wornall

2010-09-07T14:20:00.000-04:00

So that is amazing.
Thanks to K-did for sharing the Plog link.

I recommend watching the original video - I feel like they left out some awesomeness at the end.

Also? I love it when clerks fight back.

Surely it won't be long before the 7-11 will get it's own autotunage.

Overheard at the Bowling Alley

2010-09-05T23:00:00.001-04:00

Erin: Did you know curly fries cost 50 cents more than regular?

Mr. Perfect: Well, they have to curl them!

Just FYI

2010-09-02T18:34:00.000-04:00

We are going to a play tonight known as "The Vibrator Play."

Yup.

Sharks. No dice.

2010-09-02T15:51:00.000-04:00

Did you see the news?
They caught an 8ft shark in the Potomac.
SHARK.

Mr. Perfect's reply to my OMGWTFSHARK email sums my feelings up nicely:

"i saw. agreed. wtf. not like you weren't already sufficiently scared of the potomac."

Jersey Shore Circus

2010-09-01T10:18:00.000-04:00

Shared by Mr. Perfect because he gets me.
The Jersey Shore Circus.

Best Thing on the Internets

2010-08-30T14:46:00.000-04:00

Thank you thank you thank you Shane for sharing this awesome link.

And yes, while I'm a wee bit sad that there's no Google Street view for the ol' farm, I plugged in my old apartment in KC and was (still) sufficiently moved. And by that I mean it was freaking beautiful.

Go.
Now.

YES

2010-08-29T21:47:00.000-04:00

People.
There is a part two to the Miss Universe tranny gown extravagannnnnnnn-zah!

In part one, you will remember that Miss USmothafuckinA killed it.

Trantastic flashback..

Part Two does.not.dis.appoint.

It's so b-a-n-a-n-a-s that they don't even mention the fact Puerto Rico's ...puerto is .. ahem... open.

This has made my Sunday.

Summer Fresh Confidence

2010-08-29T21:30:00.000-04:00

Also from K-did?

Advice for any ladies looking to ask for a raise.

Seriously the most awkward advertisement ever.

I can't help but think this started as an inside joke at their ad agency, and somehow got approved.

From K-did, via BoingBoing.

K-diddy - searching the internets so you don't have to.

USA - FTW!

2010-08-29T21:25:00.000-04:00

K-did sent me the best link in the world earlier in the week. Because I'm an idiot, I just now looked at it.
And omgomgomgomg - did y'all know that the Miss Universe pageant includes a tranny competition? Holyshizzle my freakin' nizzle it does and USA TOTALLY WINS!

Seriously when I saw the Miss USA costume, before I could see her sash, I knew in my little heart it just HAD to be the U.S. of A.

And it was.

And I loved it.

That's Not Quite Right

2010-08-28T18:05:00.001-04:00

At Goodwill just now ...
Me: Do you have a credit card minimum?

Worker: Yes.

Me: umm. What is it?

Worker: It's anything.

Commutes

2010-08-27T20:25:00.000-04:00

The other day I was walking to the Ballston (our neighborhood) metro station. I walked by two guys who looked like they were in their late 20's. As I walked by them, I adjusted my headphones, lifting them off my ears. One of the guys saw me lift them off my ears and made a fart noise.

It was strange.

Very strange.

Yesterday when I got off at Farragut West to head to work, I noticed a cop walking by the train, peering in the doors.
Not totally out of the norm.
But then there was another one.
And another.
And another.

And the train pulled out of the station, and I could see across the tracks that there were 6 cops on the other platform as well.

One of them was peering over the edge of the retainer wall between the walkway and wall. Looking. For stuff.

Ugh. It just makes me feel so blech. My stomach started flip flopping.
It's not fun to wonder if it's a drill... or a regularly scheduled visit (even though I've never seen that many just around)... or, or because they really think they have something to look for.

Just ugh.

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

2010-08-24T17:23:00.000-04:00

The Tea Party guide to DC is hilarious, but the comment stating the streets of DC are more dangerous than Baghdad is true. Seriously. Suicide bombs in the streets daily here folks, ugh, it's like, so annoying.

Also, map of DC for Tea Party folk. Brilliant.

Some friends of mine are considering hitting up the Teabagging gathering. I think it will be more depressing that entertaining, but I have recommending setting up a free spell check booth. I have seen a picture of this somewhere... can't find it though. Or carry a "Citation Needed" sign.

The search

2010-08-22T22:19:00.000-04:00

The search for housing has taken over my brain and life.
The amount of considerations to make is overwhelming.
The time crunch sucks - the hurry up and wait is pretty much over and now it's just omfghurryup.

This sucks.

He Knows Me

2010-08-19T21:23:00.000-04:00

me: I just made a huge, life altering mistake

Mr. Perfect: you bought a snack?

and loved it?

me: I went to corner bakery and got the chocolate whoopie pie with mocha creme filling

4:59 PM and it was so good I licked the wrapper

and (my coworker) said, well, at least you're not freebasing crack

me: and what does that say about me that I tell you I made a huge mistake and you know it's snack related

5:00 PM it was just so so so fucking good

Note - it really was so so so fucking good - the mocha creme tasted just like when my momma used to make chocolate frosting and add coffee. Yum.

Tip

2010-08-12T21:52:00.000-04:00

If you are flying to meet someone on vacation - say Florida - and they leave before you, pack your shit in their luggage.

Yup, no bag check, no carry on, just me and my (standard) massive purse. FTW.

Notes

2010-08-12T09:31:00.000-04:00

New York was fabulous. I feel like I really *got* the city this time. We had so much fun walking all over and hanging out with some really great friends. Mr. Perfect and I both agreed that this visit made us feel like we could live in NYC. Not that we want to... but that we could see it....
Which in turn made me realize I want to move into D.C. (we've been looking in Arlington and D.C. for the big October move).

NYC was interesting because it made me appreciate D.C. so much more (hello air conditioned and easy to figure out metro, no trash and horrible smells on the sidewalk) and become a wee bit jealous of NYC (holymotherofbagelsandpizza, so much to do, the walking, the parks, Central Park, at least 3 restaurants, bars, and/or shops on each block I want to visit) all at the same time.

I leave on Friday to meet Mr. Perfect in Florida. He left last night for... Fort Lauderdale? (nightmare - stuck on the plane with NO AIR CONDITIONING for HOURS) and we'll meet up in Tampa before heading to St. Pete's beach for the third year in a row. Holy. Balls.

Back to the whole "move" thing.
Ugh.
I'm still torturing myself by looking at places to live online, finding awesome spots, then reminding myself they're available immediately or for September move-in and will not exist in October. Damn.
As I said, I'm getting more excited about moving into the city, even though I still love Arlington and several neighborhoods would be great to live in. However, I had a bit of a reality check the other night when we looked at an apartment in the District. Super location, reasonable price, and the place felt like a mobile home. Long, narrow, horrible layout with - wait for it - sliding mirrored panels separating the living area from the bedroom. Whhhaaa???

After running out of there, we heading to our friend's condo. It is a really funky layout (with two lofted spaces and tons of angles). I absolutely love the neighborhood, and there are some really great features of the condo. But... but.. at the same time, I realized how hard it will be for my Midwestern brain to wrap around true city apartment/condo living.

Basically, my apartment in KC was a totally standard layout of a big rectangle broken into smaller rectangles. My friend's apartments were, for the most part, pretty large and built within the last 10 years - but most of them lived in houses.

It's just very different to see 600 or 640 square feet of a unique layout and figure out how it works for you.

That said, Mr. Perfect and I were both excited about the endless possibilities for how you would layout the place. So we will see what happens. I'm glad we're going to Florida this weekend - it will make it impossible for further apartment hunting torture. At least for two days.

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made

2010-08-05T21:39:00.000-04:00

Mr. Perfect and I are headed to the New York tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited.
I'm over my cold.
The weather is nice.
(basically the opposite of my last visit to the City)

It's going to be nice, in a way, to not be able to look for apartments or houses to move to - I feel like I've become consumed by that process (yeah, we're moving. End of September. Don't know where yet - DC or VA). But then I get a little freaked out realizing we're gone next weekend too - Florida - and won't be able to look at places. I have some major first-world problems here. Too many awesome vacations to pick out an awesome place to live.

Neeeeew York....

Life Advice

2010-08-05T12:53:00.000-04:00

I try to follow this advice when making decisions.

Thanks to Mr. Perfect for not only sharing this link, but putting up with me.

Tonight's Plans

2010-07-29T12:29:00.000-04:00

1) Fight through Man Cold

2) Dinner at Jaleo

3) Taking Mr. Perfect to see One Man Lord of the Rings performance. Yup.

Blast Him!

2010-07-28T21:16:00.000-04:00

Last week Mr. Perfect said, maybe one time, that his throat had a slight tickle.

Fast forward to today.
I have a full-fledged Man Cold.

Don't try to point out the fact that I'm not a man (as Mr. Perfect did), because someone in this relationship has to get the Man Cold, and it's clearly me.

Freaking summer man cold.

Speak Up

2010-07-28T09:23:00.000-04:00

You know how sometimes you think something is off but you don't say anything because you are afraid of making a scene or looking silly?

Yeah, follow your gut.

Especially when you think the priest is drowning you baby during the baptism.

Jeesh.

Thanks to Coke Talk for bringing me this horrible news.

Painfully true

2010-07-25T16:51:00.001-04:00

Me (looking around our room): What's our aesthetic as a couple?

Mr. Perfect: I don't know what that means.

Me: What's our design aesthetic?

Mr. Perfect: Oh. Tacky?

Ain't That Sucks*

2010-07-21T23:53:00.000-04:00

You know what sucks?

Working until 11, then feeling kinda sick in the back of the cab on the way home because it smells like stale cigarettes and the air conditioning isn't on and you wolfed down a greasy Italian sub for dinner at work, and then finding out --after you get to your house-- that the cab doesn't take cash, you have no cash, your roommate has no cash and your boyfriend has a painfully close-but-not-quite-enough-$7, so you get back in the cab, choke back tears of self pity, drive to 7-11 and walk up to the ATM to find it.doesn't.work. but BUT they give cash back "$10 minimum" "minimum?" you say because usually there is a maximum but no, he says minimum and so you pick out some stupid gum and pay but the machine says $10 maximum and he is still saying minimum but hey, it's pushing 11:30 so let's not give a vocabulary lesson, and you head back home and hand over every single dollar you acquired in the last ten minutes and walk inside (FINALLY) and ugh. What is that smell? And it's hot. but you kick the a/c down a degree and figure the smell will go away or at least you know it will be gone in September. When you move out. not that you know where you are moving. where are you moving. and UGH! the last hour has not been so fucking great but then you change and wash your face and see him quietly (perhaps timidly considering your attitude) waiting and you laugh thinking about the text messages you sent him yesterday telling him that you hated him and the reasons why (1. PMS 2. he was home and you weren't 3. the rain that was hitting you as you walked home 4. he has slept almost 6 hours more than you in the past 2 days 5. it is hot out 6. I'm hungry.) then you see the little blue envelope and the best timed and perfectly entertaining letter from your pen pal and. and. and. a deep breath, shoulders relax and you let. it. go.

Time for bed.

After all, I have to be at work early tomorrow.

*I actually know the person that, without irony, coined the phrase, "Ain't that sucks," and uses it regularly. It's quite catchy. I recommend it. Highly.

Picture of the devastation after this morning's 3.6 earthquake

2010-07-16T11:53:00.002-04:00

For all of us who lived through it this morning...

Picture of the devastation after earthquake in the DC area:

Nuggets

2010-07-16T10:18:00.000-04:00

1) There was an earthquake near DC today. Some of my coworkers felt it. Whaaa???

2) As if being super freaking hot and sweaty and fumbling around with my suitcase for my flight to KC wasn't bad enough this morning, the metro train I was on had to off-board after some of the doors wouldn't shut, then the door next to me opened. The door without a platform on the other side.

3) Speaking of commuting - tourists, what the HELL are you doing on the metro at 8a.m.??? STAY. AT. YOUR. HOTEL. Seriously. There is a reason that the tourist metro cards start after 9a.m. - because there is no reason for you to get on the metro before then.

4) Doing dishes right before you walk out of the house in the morning because you realized you will be gone for the weekend and, oh, this is actually your mess from dinner a few nights ago and it's starting to stank and dammit! well, it sucks.

5) I've had a recurring dream that I'm screaming at someone (same person each time). Telling them exactly what hell I think they are destined to reside in. Rather than be disturbed by this, I see it as a chance to refine my talking points.

That's a whole lot of negative shit. Let's switch gears.

6) SO excited to go to KC and celebrate the engagements of some of my favorite people - even if I've slacked and haven't posted pictures and stories (ahem - Melllllinda!) I'm super pumped to celebrate with Shea (!!!!) and the other newly engaged (including Mr. Perfect's brother!!).

7) I attended a French maid race this week, and when they called for volunteers (they supplied the outfits) I did not step forward. Shocking. Growth.

Erin FAIL

2010-07-15T14:46:00.000-04:00

Just realized, a scant 2 hours before Mr. Perfect catches his flight to Kansas City, that if I was really planning, I would have packed all my shiz in Mr. Perfect's bag so when I catch the exact same flight tomorrow I could roll up sans luggage.

Damn.

Also?
See you tomorrow, Kansas City!

File Under: Highly Offensive to Mom

2010-07-15T14:35:00.000-04:00

Shared, of course, by K-did.
I find the attention to detail quite impressive. K-did called my attention to JC's tattoo.

Just had a realization that I've taken this as a joke the entire time, but it may actually be used as an anti-drug thing ... like, you're hurting not just yourself, but also JC?

Because He Cares

2010-07-13T16:12:00.000-04:00

From Mr. Perfect

To me

Subject: FW: Flash Flood Watch.

Don't get washed away!

-----Original Message-----

From:

Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 3:46 PM

To:

Subject: Flash Flood Watch.

The National Weather Service has issued a Flash Flood Watch for the National Capital Region (NCR) from 6:00 PM tonight until 6:00 AM tomorrow morning.

Dislike

2010-07-12T21:39:00.001-04:00

I needed to be at work by 8 this morning.
I woke up at 8.

Dude on metro reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. In his suit. Blech.

I've gotten three times as many "You cut your hair!" than "I like your haircut!"

Unmentionables.

Huge fucking case of the Mondays.

Work.

Blerg.

Working late.

Guy on metro asserting manliness through personal space usage. So. Annoyed.

Can't wait to vent.

Walk in the door.

Pots boiling.
Mr. Perfect cooking.
A card. For me.
A bottle of wine. For me.
Huge exhale.

He made me fancy tuna casserole.
Laugh/love it.

What was I going to say?
The day is gone.

And I am happy.

He does this to/for me.

An EXTENSIVE Line

2010-07-10T13:44:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Mr. Perfect had some errands to run for work that brought him close to my office. Naturally, he stopped by ~~for a quick smooch~~ to say hello. It was super hot a~~nd I didn't want to just stand outside my office smooching~~ so I suggested we take a look at the odd designs and molds the chocolate store next to my work carries.

Because, why not?

I would say that Mr. Perfect found it odd to randomly browse a chocolate store, looking for the oddest thing we could (Chocolate floppy disk and mouse that said "You Saved the Day!"), but he's totally used to this shit by now.

We happily strolled through the store, me gazing wistfully at high heels made from chocolate, Mr. Perfect checking out varieties of truffles.

But then.

Ohhhhh but then.

Tucked away in a corner display I noticed mini paint buckets of chocolate. Ew.

[Can I just say, all other kinkiness, general hygiene and clean up issues aside, there is no way that body chocolate can taste good at all. To stay in that liquid state - just like the cheap-o chocolate fountains you can buy - the chocolate has to be mostly made up of oil. Bleh. ]

And next to those little buckets of goop, there it was. A small placard with a big invitation: Ask to See Our Extensive Line of Adult Products.

Yes and Please.

Just a brief moment after receiving that invitation, a woman behind the counter asked if she could help me. Why yes, yes, you can!

"I would like see your Extensive Line of Adult Products, please. Do you have a catalog?"

"No, there's no catalog, but if you want you can just come in the back and look at them."

I immediately said yes and started following her into the back room.

"Can I come?" Mr. Perfect asked.

"Only if you don't get embarrassed!" was the worker's immediate reply.

He assured her it was not an easy task to embarrass him (one of the reasons we work so fabulously) and followed us.

In the back room, hanging on the wall, there were about 12 different molds of the adult variety. 3-D molds, molds for lollipop versions.

Most of them were quite obvious.
Boobs.
Peni (yes, plural).

Some required a moment (her name rhymes with a woman's body part... Mulva?).

Most were straight forward.

Then. Then there was the one that defied classification.

It was a rooster.

I thought, huh, that's odd. I feel like they are being a bit overzealous in their classification of the - ahem - cock as adult.

Then I saw it.

The rooster had a penis.

You know, just in case you couldn't pick up on the innuendo on your own, The cock has a cock.

It was so. so. so. strange.

And, in typing this, I have realized what I must do.
At first, I thought I must return to the back of the store and take a picture of the mold.
Instead, I've realized I must order a cock(2).

Hmmm... anyone have a birthday coming up??

Also? Sorry Mom. Uncle Frank. Insert Relative Who Feels Uncomfortable Reading About Me Shopping for Chocolate CockCocks Here.

Little Known Facts

2010-06-30T23:06:00.000-04:00

First things first - the yurt? It was freaking awesome.
Why?
Well, 1) see below (and below right to see bunk beds)

2) A yurt is not a tent. It has a floor.

3) There was a ton of room to put our stuff - and a table!

4) It's not a tent.

5) Beds.

6) Electricity (that we didn't really use much)

7) Mostly reasons 2 and 4

8) We had a little yard and our own bathrooms - even if they were port-a-potties, we only shared them with our two neighbor cabins:

Did you know that Deep Creek Lake is kinda in the mountains?

And did you know that means it doesn't get hot?

And there were like no bugs?

Yeah, I didn't know that either.

But OMG IT WAS AWESOME.
I'm not going to lie, I got a little worried the first night there. It was straight chilly out and there might have been some maneuvering for the one single blanket we brought with us. I was pretty sure I was going to add a nice sweatshirt to my wardrobe from the closest souvenir shop. Preferably with little bears on it.

Speaking of BEARS.

We didn't see any - which was awesome.

But our cabin neighbors did share this little ditty (thankfully while we were packing to leave) - these two middle age guys come to Deep Creek Lake every year with their sons to celebrate Father's Day. Two years ago one night they had returned later in the night to their tent after fishing. While they were filleting the fish, one of the guys asked the other to grab something. When he grabbed the light, looking for the item, it shined on two. fucking. bears. Just hanging out. About 10 feet from them. Just like, "Hey guys, what kind of fish did you get today? Oh, yeah? That's cool."

Pretty much a real life OMGWTFBEAR.

Needless to say, they decided moving forward a cabin was the way to go.

The bears were a constant topic of conversation throughout the trip.

Like when we went on a hike.

Hoping our gang colors will show the bears who's the boss of these here woods.

I was pretty convinced every noise was a bear. Other than that, and popping a squat only to have Mr. Perfect immediately shout-whisper, "People! PEOPLE!"

I naturally was caught between thinking he was totally messing with me and OMGWTFPEOPLE.

Guess what?

There were totally people.

At least I had only dropped trou?

Moving on...

According to the park brochure, we picked the most scenic trail possible for our hike on Saturday. Across the ridge... incredible vistas... and mostly bullshit.

Seriously. The hike was awesome, but it ended at a cell phone tower.

No view.

Total bummer.

Luckily we found (and by found I mean followed a sign to) a scenic viewpoint.

And if you zoomed the camera all they out and peered between the gap in the trees, you could see the surrounding beautifulness.

Here's a view of where we hiked to - right in the middle beneath the tallest tower.

Man, the lake was so gorgeous.
Reminded me a lot of where we went after my cousin Meg's wedding last July. Pretty lake, in the mountains, surrounded by woods. Also had momentary flashes of Dirty Dancing.

Sunday we ended up taking another hike to Swallow Falls. Awesome.

Check out this sassy tree growing in the middle of the small falls.

Sass.

More gorgeousness.

We didn't join in the fun, but it was pretty entertaining to watch the guys try to get up the nerve to jump on in.

The trip was totally fabulous. The entire time we were there, we were talking about how much fun it would be to come back again on our own. With friends. With family. Any time.

The only downside to this trip is, in my opinion, the drive.

We had aimed at leaving around 1p.m. on Friday.

We got on the road around 3:30.

Which in these parts is essentially traffic death.

We got stuck in a stretch of 5MPH/stopped traffic almost immediately. And, of course, a shirtless redneck in a massive truck was honking at us.

Honking at us.

In bumper to bumper traffic.

Because we should have....been speeding every time there was a half car length of space that opened up in front of us to slam on the breaks again? Annoying.

The other odd aspect of the drive in Maryland?

All the damned things you have to share the road with!

1) Cyclists. Standard.

2) Pedestrians. Got it.

3) Horses. Ok. Makes sense...

4) Deer. Really.
Really? Share the Road with them? Not just watch out, but share? As Mr. Perfect put it, do they have a deer-only lane?

Something else we learned on the drive.
There are a shitload of deer-bear fights in Maryland.

RRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! DEERBEARFIGHT!

The Coffee Was Bad, But...

2010-06-25T09:13:00.001-04:00

I am at a conference for work this morning.
Before we were even half through the first speaker, I could spot a woman across the room sleeping.
Blatently.
With her head leaning against the wall.

Stay classy, conferences.

... and Bears, Oh My! No, Really, and Freakin' Bears??

2010-06-24T23:19:00.000-04:00

When I got Mr. Perfect a camping trip for his birthday, I found a compromise between camping in a tent and a cabin with running water and electricity (readily available in the DC region).

It's a yurt.

I'm in a yurt, motherfucker!

Totally.

So we leave tomorrow for Deep Creek Lake, and honestly, I couldn't be more excited.

Well, until I went back to the state's website to get some more info on the yurt and saw a warning about bears.

Bears.

Real bears.

Bears that, presumably, want to eat me.

At least there won't be tornadoes???

Anyway, I'm ready for this. I am super nostalgic for my high school summers. It seemed like every other night we were gathering at the (only) grocery store, picking out brats and chips and heading to the lake to cook out, sit around the bonfire, and smoke cloves.

Hell yes I said cloves!

Duh, we were in high school!

So even though I have a quite massive yard - DC-wise or not - it still doesn't compare to sitting around a fire, roasting up some wieners, toasting some marshmallows, and drinking some PBR.

In my wisdom, I have replaced cloves with beer.

Here's to camping in yurts with NO bears.

Just Ugh.

2010-06-24T23:00:00.000-04:00

I'm 27.
I graduated in a class with less than 50.
There were about 200 in the school.
Two of my high school classmates are widows.

Widows.

Widows.

Not even close 30 years old, and widows.

One has two kids.

It's so difficult for me to even comprehend.

Juiced

2010-06-17T21:49:00.000-04:00

When we were in Cayman, one of the girls was lamenting the fact that there aren't adult beverage juice boxes - I think it came out of a conversation about wine in box.

I immediately thought about the small cube of sangria from Target chillin' out in the fridge back at home.

And suddenly realized, oh. my. god. They have a small pour hole. That STRAWS WOULD FIT IN PERFECTLY!

But.. I had no clue if they were any good.

So as soon as I got home...

I found out they were DELICIOUS!

And suddenly had a vision of my future - "No kids, that's Mommy's juice box!"

Grand Cayman

2010-06-13T16:21:00.000-04:00

Grand Cayman was fabulous.
Easy trip from D.C. - a quick flight to Miami followed by an even quicker flight to Grand Cayman.

We got to the hotel and promptly (ate then..) got to the beach.
That night was the rehearsal dinner for our friends' wedding. The location was spectacular - a restaurant that had a private dining area that jutted out over the water.

To the right of our table, there were divers. At night.
WHAT WERE THEY LOOKING FOR??
Only logical answer?
Treasure.

On the short drive from the airport to the hotel I saw chickens, cows and other random livestock just hanging out.

Doing their thing.

Hey chicken.

The next day we decided to walk into town. On the way we stopped by a large store that only sold Haviana flip flops. Impressive.

And some folks selling fresh fish.

After a lunch at Hard Rock (don't hate) we headed back for the wedding.
And found a telephone booth in the hotel lobby.

The wedding was so perfect. The weather was great, the view was spectacular, and oddly enough - even the random people walking by in swimsuits just added to the whole scene.

Oh, in addition to chickens, there are also a ton of little lizards!
(this is the most random, poorly edited post... )

Hey, Handsome!

awww

Are the flowers perfection?

I love this photo. Shortly after I took it, a pirate ship sailed by behind them.
Not kidding.
A goddamn pirate ship, in the sunset, while the couple is taking wedding photos, on the beach. YES!

I had to snap a photo of the random-awkward people who floated around in the water watching the entire ceremony. It was annoying at first, but then just funny.

Again. Flowers = amazing. The bridesmaids dresses were pretty much that color of green.

yeah.

Yup.

After the reception (which featured some of the best speeches I have ever heard at a wedding. Ok, THE best speeches), we all head out for some drinks.

And just a reminder folks:

The most loved part of the trip: Beergaritas.
A margarita with a Corona in it.
I'm going to go ahead and say that I actually didn't love these as much as most of the party - they made me yearn for summer beers...

The trip was great, the island was beautiful, the wedding was perfect, and hanging out with a big group of friends (massive beach volleyball was played - and yes, I brought it) was totally awesome.

Is this it? Erin's Adventures in the Real World

Unfinished business

Things I Look Forward to in Mexico

Since We Last Talked

My Weekend in Numbers

I feel like this quite often

Marriage Prep

Your Daily Awkward

Who needs a wedding planner?

Truth

I'm Flyyyyyyying!!

Dinner of Champions

I'm Not Ready!

Our Friends, They Get Us

Hey, Remember That?

Showed Up

Showing Your Age

You Shook Me All Night Long: A Love Story - 12

A Sweet Story

Truth

Hamface girl

Words to Live By

I would love to see this ad

I Kissed a Greek and I Liked It

Punny

Working From Home Means

State of the State of the Union

Either That, or a Shirt

The Twee Can't be Contained

Autoblog

I Know She's Seducing My Man With Chicken Tetrazzini

Directions

Ice, Ice Baby

Big Plans

Last Christmas vs. This Christmas

So I'm in New York

so fun.

Tradition. Sometimes You Don't Know Why You Do It.

Christmas Time Is Here

This Will Backfire Some Day. But... Until Then...

Thanks

Too Early

City Livin'

Guess Who Was Left off the Invite to Thanksgiving?

They Cut My Beard. And Forced Me to Eat It.

Chasing The Dragon

Not Helpful

There Was Nothing Else in the House!

Hard Work, Finally Paying Off

Bacon is BACK!

The Rally to Restore Sanity - Summarized in One Photo

And the Award for Best Performance as a Tea Bag Goes to..

Bringing Home Bacon

We're Not Gonna Protest

Fail

It's T-SHIRT TIIIIIIMMMMME!

If Stuff White People Liked Were a Movie...

Also, It's In Bad Taste

Divine Inspiration, Or, the Time I Dreamt About Marshmallow Fluff

That is Not a Dip

Mary Alice's Hoagie Dip

Prep Time:

Level:

Yield:

Recipe Tools:

Ingredients

Directions

It's been a ride

Thanks, Internets!

So We're Moving.

I Don't Get That One Often

This One Time, At Our Garage Sale

Biggest Garage Sale Ever

Slightly Disappointed This Wasn't at the 7-11 on Wornall

Overheard at the Bowling Alley

Just FYI

Sharks. No dice.

Jersey Shore Circus

Best Thing on the Internets

YES