Unfinished business

I've been avoiding this for months. But here it is. Time to finally acknowledge that my time blogging is done - for now at least.

When I started writing this blog in 2006 - FIVE YEARS ago - I was a new college graduate working at a job that did not challenge me one bit, I was in an unhealthy and - if I was honest- unhappy relationship, I was broke and I was really in shock with the reality of my real world. Writing became an escape, a challenge, a purpose, a way to meet new people, an inside joke, a chronicle of my life, a way to keep in touch with friends and family, and an exciting part of who I was.

At some point, that started changing.

I noticed it on others' blogs first - some shared concerns about privacy, but most went through a slow drop in actual writing as more and more blogs turned into Tumblrs featuring recipes, internet memes, GPOYW and little else.

My pseudo-pseudo-pseudo celebrity was fun - until it wasn't. Let's just say there was some fan fiction featuring my blog that freaked.me.out.

Then the realization that I couldn't truly share stories of my life with others - because my stories weren't just my own. My family experienced some major changes, and the openness of this platform made me feel vulnerable and even angry to think of others taking part in my life virtually. [suggested reading: Lemmonex's take on this very topic]

I found a job and it turned into a career. I'm at a company that I love with clients I value. Walking down the streets, wondering how a client would feel reading my words made me uncomfortable. Not because I'm embarrassed of the things I say, do or feel, but because these moments started to feel more personal, sacred and private. Mine.

I feel so conflicted about closing this chapter. I made friends, was a part of a community, and felt so much love and support from so many people that there will always be a part of me that will miss this space. Especially when new friends - who are wholly unaware of the blog - tell me, "You're life Erin, I swear, you should be a sitcom."

Confirmation that no matter how much things change, they really stay the same.