Best Thing on the Internets

Thank you thank you thank you Shane for sharing this awesome link. 

And yes, while I'm a wee bit sad that there's no Google Street view for the ol' farm, I plugged in my old apartment in KC and was (still) sufficiently moved. And by that I mean it was freaking beautiful.

Go.
Now.

YES

People.
There is a part two to the Miss Universe tranny gown extravagannnnnnnn-zah!

In part one, you will remember that Miss USmothafuckinA killed it.

Trantastic flashback..

Part Two does.not.dis.appoint.

It's so b-a-n-a-n-a-s that they don't even mention the fact Puerto Rico's ...puerto is .. ahem... open.

This has made my Sunday.

Summer Fresh Confidence

Also from K-did?

Advice for any ladies looking to ask for a raise.

Seriously the most awkward advertisement ever.

I can't help but think this started as an inside joke at their ad agency, and somehow got approved.

From K-did, via BoingBoing.

K-diddy - searching the internets so you don't have to.

USA - FTW!

K-did sent me the best link in the world earlier in the week. Because I'm an idiot, I just now looked at it.
And omgomgomgomg - did y'all know that the Miss Universe pageant includes a tranny competition? Holyshizzle my freakin' nizzle it does and USA TOTALLY WINS!


Seriously when I saw the Miss USA costume, before I could see her sash, I knew in my little heart it just HAD to be the U.S. of A.

And it was.

And I loved it.

That's Not Quite Right

At Goodwill just now ...
Me: Do you have a credit card minimum?

Worker: Yes.

Me: umm. What is it?

Worker: It's anything.

Commutes

The other day I was walking to the Ballston (our neighborhood) metro station. I walked by two guys who looked like they were in their late 20's. As I walked by them, I adjusted my headphones, lifting them off my ears. One of the guys saw me lift them off my ears and made a fart noise.

It was strange.

Very strange.

Yesterday when I got off at Farragut West to head to work, I noticed a cop walking by the train, peering in the doors.
Not totally out of the norm.
But then there was another one.
And another.
And another.

And the train pulled out of the station, and I could see across the tracks that there were 6 cops on the other platform as well.

One of them was peering over the edge of the retainer wall between the walkway and wall. Looking. For stuff.

Ugh. It just makes me feel so blech. My stomach started flip flopping.
It's not fun to wonder if it's a drill... or a regularly scheduled visit (even though I've never seen that many just around)... or, or because they really think they have something to look for.

Just ugh.

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

The Tea Party guide to DC is hilarious, but the comment stating the streets of DC are more dangerous than Baghdad is true. Seriously. Suicide bombs in the streets daily here folks, ugh, it's like, so annoying.

Also, map of DC for Tea Party folk.  Brilliant.

Some friends of mine are considering hitting up the Teabagging gathering. I think it will be more depressing that entertaining, but I have recommending setting up a free spell check booth. I have seen a picture of this somewhere... can't find it though. Or carry a "Citation Needed" sign.

The search

The search for housing has taken over my brain and life.
The amount of considerations to make is overwhelming.
The time crunch sucks - the hurry up and wait is pretty much over and now it's just omfghurryup.

This sucks.

He Knows Me

me: I just made a huge, life altering mistake

 Mr. Perfect: you bought a snack?

  and loved it?

 me: I went to corner bakery and got the chocolate whoopie pie with mocha creme filling

4:59 PM and it was so good I licked the wrapper

  and (my coworker) said, well, at least you're not freebasing crack

  

me: and what does that say about me that I tell you I made a huge mistake and you know it's snack related

5:00 PM it was just so so so fucking good

Note - it really was so so so fucking good - the mocha creme tasted just like when my momma used to make chocolate frosting and add coffee. Yum.

Tip

If you are flying to meet someone on vacation - say Florida - and they leave before you, pack your shit in their luggage.

Yup, no bag check, no carry on, just me and my (standard) massive purse. FTW.

Notes

New York was fabulous. I feel like I really *got* the city this time. We had so much fun walking all over and hanging out with some really great friends. Mr. Perfect and I both agreed that this visit made us feel like we could live in NYC. Not that we want to... but that we could see it....
Which in turn made me realize I want to move into D.C. (we've been looking in Arlington and D.C. for the big October move).

NYC was interesting because it made me appreciate D.C. so much more (hello air conditioned and easy to figure out metro, no trash and horrible smells on the sidewalk) and become a wee bit jealous of NYC (holymotherofbagelsandpizza, so much to do, the walking, the parks, Central Park, at least 3 restaurants, bars, and/or shops on each block I want to visit) all at the same time.

I leave on Friday to meet Mr. Perfect in Florida. He left last night for... Fort Lauderdale? (nightmare - stuck on the plane with NO AIR CONDITIONING for HOURS) and we'll meet up in Tampa before heading to St. Pete's beach for the third year in a row. Holy. Balls.

Back to the whole "move" thing.
Ugh.
I'm still torturing myself by looking at places to live online, finding awesome spots, then reminding myself they're available immediately or for September move-in and will not exist in October. Damn.
As I said, I'm getting more excited about moving into the city, even though I still love Arlington and several neighborhoods would be great to live in. However, I had a bit of a reality check the other night when we looked at an apartment in the District. Super location, reasonable price, and the place felt like a mobile home. Long, narrow, horrible layout with - wait for it - sliding mirrored panels separating the living area from the bedroom. Whhhaaa???

After running out of there, we heading to our friend's condo. It is a really funky layout (with two lofted spaces and tons of angles). I absolutely love the neighborhood, and there are some really great features of the condo. But... but.. at the same time, I realized how hard it will be for my Midwestern brain to wrap around true city apartment/condo living.

Basically, my apartment in KC was a totally standard layout of a big rectangle broken into smaller rectangles. My friend's apartments were, for the most part, pretty large and built within the last 10 years - but most of them lived in houses.

It's just very different to see 600 or 640 square feet of a unique layout and figure out how it works for you.

That said, Mr. Perfect and I were both excited about the endless possibilities for how you would layout the place. So we will see what happens. I'm glad we're going to Florida this weekend - it will make it impossible for further apartment hunting torture. At least for two days.

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made

Mr. Perfect and I are headed to the New York tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited.
I'm over my cold.
The weather is nice.
(basically the opposite of my last visit to the City)

It's going to be nice, in a way, to not be able to look for apartments or houses to move to - I feel like I've become consumed by that process (yeah, we're moving. End of September. Don't know where yet - DC or VA). But then I get a little freaked out realizing we're gone next weekend too - Florida - and won't be able to look at places. I have some major first-world problems here. Too many awesome vacations to pick out an awesome place to live.

Neeeeew York....

Life Advice

I try to follow this advice when making decisions.




Thanks to Mr. Perfect for not only sharing this link, but putting up with me.