Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Unamerican
I made sure to pack two things for our trip to KC last week - my Kohl's and JC Penney's gift cards from last Christmas. There are no JC Penney's out in these parts, and the only Kohl's I found was not close or convenient. When I told my mom there weren't JC Penney's out here, she replied in disbelief, "What!?? That is unamerican!!"
Hilarious.
And true.
We didn't make it to Penney's on our trip, but we just bought a 4ft Christmas tree on their site - super discounted plus a coupon code from retailmenot.com and the gift card = yes.
We did make it to Kohl's (along with some other stores) and ended up flying back to DC with our bags brimming full of:
- 6 pack of men's socks
- 7 pack of men's undershirts
- underwear
- new slippers (for Mr. Perfect and I both)
- an angel food cake pan - not. kidding. Apparently Mr. Perfect has been searching for one. He carried it on, along with the advent candle holder my mom gave me and the Sequence game I took back from GDSean (I left it behind in the move).
As if that collection isn't random enough, Mr. Perfect also picked up some must-haves from one of the best shops in KC, The New Old Dime Store in Brookside. His loot included:
- spatula - it was very thin and flexible, he actually got it for me. Thinner = better for flipping eggs
- zester - it's actually kinda cool. it has a ring on it so the zester part rests in your palm. It includes a little compartment that collects your zestings.
- butter spreader - I didn't even know these things existed.
- shot glass measurer - in the words of Mr. Perfect, "It does ounces! and teaspoons! and tablespoons!"
When I told Shea and Carly about all of our shopping, their joint reply was basically something along the lines of why are you doing all this shopping in KC? Aren't there better options in DC?
Well.
Yes and no.
The lack of WalMart really does make things like angel food cake pans hard to find - and when you do find them it's at Williams-Sonoma. Nothanks!
So we did some really random shopping and gathering in KC.
And yes Shell, we were able to fit all of our 'Thanksgiving gifts' back in our suitcases.
Barely.
And my carry-on might have gotten stuck in the overhead bin after we crammed it in.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Drink Your Juice
This morning, at the breakfast table around 5a.m. Mr. Perfect suddenly says, "Mom, did you know in Steel Magnolias, Shelby dies??"
I love this random man.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I Love You Kansas City
Last night we ordered an appetizer, salad, entree, dessert, bottle of red and bottle of bubbly.
The bill?
Less than $100!
Monday, November 23, 2009
I AM AN EXECUTIVE MEMBER!
Saturday night, at the Well in Waldo.
Shell digs through her wallet, searching for her ID to show to the bouncer.
She pulls out her Costco card and hands it to him.
"Um, this isn't going to work."
"It has my picture!" she said.
"Yeah, no."
"But I am an Executive Member!!"
annnd scene!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Good/Bad
Bad: waking up early.
Awesomely Good: waking up early because the girls are giggling and playing.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Sounds Like a Good Friday Night
One of my most favoritist people on the planet, Marky, is hosting a par-tay tonight. His Evite reminder made my morning.
As if the original invite wasn't enticing enough:
Marky is one of the most hilarious writers I know. His e-mails are legendary. My favorite was the one he signed, without irony, All the Best, Mark. When I called him out on it, along with another friend of ours, his reply was, "I like to try out new and different salutations!"
I should just start a blog of his e-mails.
Friends, lovers, haters and people we feel sorry for:
It's a cruel, cruel world. Layoffs abound, our 401ks are at '99 levels, and America's Most Lovable Functional Retard, Sarah Palin, is once again in the media spotlight promoting her new book, 'America Real Me Rogue Badger Consignment: A Reflection.' Let's escape the best way we know how - booze, junk food and hooking up.
As if the original invite wasn't enticing enough:
As further enticement, up-and-coming H Street N.E. is a 5 minute walk from Harrison House, guaranteeing any urge for putt-putt golf, burlesque shows, Big Buck Hunter, sushi or coked-up hookers can be satisfied in short order.
Let's review. There will be: booze, snacks, your friends, possibly* guest appearances by Haley Joel Osment and a yet-to-be-determined Jonas brother, more booze and the awesome trinity of C, V and Marky. All in a prostitute-adjacent locale! This will be epic.
Please RSVP to let us know if you're coming. As always, bring a buddy, boyfriend, girlfriend or Craigslist hook-up if you like just as long as they're not going to vomit in our sink or steal things.
Best,
C, V and Marky
(*Most certainly neither will show, but, seriously, what else does HJO have going on right now that he couldn't make it?!)
Marky is one of the most hilarious writers I know. His e-mails are legendary. My favorite was the one he signed, without irony, All the Best, Mark. When I called him out on it, along with another friend of ours, his reply was, "I like to try out new and different salutations!"
I should just start a blog of his e-mails.
The Stupidest Loser - FINAL Weigh In
When I heard Josh's knock at the bedroom door this morning, I jumped out of bed. And ran into the bathroom. Because folks, you should never weigh in without first evacuating the system.
Truth.
I was pretty nervous about the weigh in. When I returned from Seattle, I was holding steady at 170-169, but last night I jumped at the numbers 1-7-4 looking up at me. I was worried I was going to pull a Josh.
After putting on my massive pink robe, I headed downstairs with Josh and waited for Mr. Perfect.
And let me tell you, it was well worth the wait when he stumbled down the stairs and into the living room wearing his underwear and singing the opening notes to The Final Countdown.
Da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da....
And then, it was time.
That's right folks, I WIN!!!
I went from 177 to 169, losing about 5% of my weight. Which is 5% more than Josh lost and 2% more than Mr. Perfect. (Klaus lost 47% of his weight when we started weighing Holly instead of him.)
There is something oddly beautiful about Josh getting right back to his starting weight, after a dramatic six weeks of up and down.
When I moved to DC I was holding steady around 185-187, which means I've lost between 16-18lbs total!
In the words of McLovin, chicka-chicka-bow!
Mr. Perfect kept up his encouraging tone of late when, after the weigh in, I told him how proud I was of us, but mostly me.
"Why mostly you??" he whined.
"Because I lost the most! AND I WON!!" I said.
Then he sweetly looked at me and replied, "That's because you had the most to lose."
After that comment, I started his morning with a swift punch to the gut. Nothing but love around here, folks.
Truth.
I was pretty nervous about the weigh in. When I returned from Seattle, I was holding steady at 170-169, but last night I jumped at the numbers 1-7-4 looking up at me. I was worried I was going to pull a Josh.
After putting on my massive pink robe, I headed downstairs with Josh and waited for Mr. Perfect.
And let me tell you, it was well worth the wait when he stumbled down the stairs and into the living room wearing his underwear and singing the opening notes to The Final Countdown.
Da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da....
And then, it was time.
That's right folks, I WIN!!!I went from 177 to 169, losing about 5% of my weight. Which is 5% more than Josh lost and 2% more than Mr. Perfect. (Klaus lost 47% of his weight when we started weighing Holly instead of him.)
There is something oddly beautiful about Josh getting right back to his starting weight, after a dramatic six weeks of up and down.
When I moved to DC I was holding steady around 185-187, which means I've lost between 16-18lbs total!
In the words of McLovin, chicka-chicka-bow!
Mr. Perfect kept up his encouraging tone of late when, after the weigh in, I told him how proud I was of us, but mostly me.
"Why mostly you??" he whined.
"Because I lost the most! AND I WON!!" I said.
Then he sweetly looked at me and replied, "That's because you had the most to lose."
After that comment, I started his morning with a swift punch to the gut. Nothing but love around here, folks.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Things I Should Keep to Myself
The number of times a day I listen to slash wish I was listening to slash sing "I Need a Hero" as sung by Bonny Tyler.
Tactics
Reading reports of KU football coach Mark Mangino's alleged physical and verbal abuse of players is disturbing, but not shocking.
It is gross to read first-hand accounts of players' personal lives being used as some strange and twisted motivational tool.
The most striking thing to me however, is the contrast between Mangino's behavior and K-State's Bill Snyder. Coach Snyder is known for his even and calm behavior, among other things. His style of leadership became such a point of interest that there was even a book written about it.
Even with the stories you hear about Snyder not cursing, not allowing players to curse, not yelling, etc etc, I don't know that I really got it until I heard stories from a guy I dated that worked for the team. His stories reinforced the image of a quiet, calm and thoughtful man that never yelled or belittled his players.
The most telling (and humorous) story I can remember was about a time when a player was talking to Snyder on the sidelines during a game. The player was explaining to Snyder what they were experiencing on the field and said something along the lines of, "those fuckers-SorryCoach! Those guys keep..."
That always stuck with me as an example of the mutual respect between players and coaches on the team.
It's sad to think of the role that Mangino could take on in his players lives - as a mentor, or even father-figure as Snyder was often described by players - instead, it appears he has chose to mock the players that would benefit most from a positive relationship.
If the stories of him (making fun of one player's alcoholic father, threatening to send another back to the ghetto to get shot like his brother, etc) are true, then Mangino is a very sad, very little (ha!) man.
I compare the two coaches because I think it's so interesting to see how decisions they've made about how to handle themselves and approach relationships with others differ so greatly - yet they've both achieved success (and failure). Basically, you don't have to be an asshole to be affective.
Also, KU sucks.
It is gross to read first-hand accounts of players' personal lives being used as some strange and twisted motivational tool.
The most striking thing to me however, is the contrast between Mangino's behavior and K-State's Bill Snyder. Coach Snyder is known for his even and calm behavior, among other things. His style of leadership became such a point of interest that there was even a book written about it.
Even with the stories you hear about Snyder not cursing, not allowing players to curse, not yelling, etc etc, I don't know that I really got it until I heard stories from a guy I dated that worked for the team. His stories reinforced the image of a quiet, calm and thoughtful man that never yelled or belittled his players.
The most telling (and humorous) story I can remember was about a time when a player was talking to Snyder on the sidelines during a game. The player was explaining to Snyder what they were experiencing on the field and said something along the lines of, "those fuckers-SorryCoach! Those guys keep..."
That always stuck with me as an example of the mutual respect between players and coaches on the team.
It's sad to think of the role that Mangino could take on in his players lives - as a mentor, or even father-figure as Snyder was often described by players - instead, it appears he has chose to mock the players that would benefit most from a positive relationship.
If the stories of him (making fun of one player's alcoholic father, threatening to send another back to the ghetto to get shot like his brother, etc) are true, then Mangino is a very sad, very little (ha!) man.
I compare the two coaches because I think it's so interesting to see how decisions they've made about how to handle themselves and approach relationships with others differ so greatly - yet they've both achieved success (and failure). Basically, you don't have to be an asshole to be affective.
Also, KU sucks.
Not Quite the Bottom..
Monster (jobs) just sent me an e-mail warning about scams that included details on this one:
Um, yes please?Money launderers often create job descriptions that offer commissions or pay as high as $2000 per day to process checks on behalf of foreign nationals. They are recruiting local citizens to "process payments" or "transfer funds," because as foreign nationals, they can't do it themselves. - E-mail from Monster.com
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Never Answer This Question Honestly
Mr. Perfect: How do I look?
Me: Good!! Your boobs are gone!
Mr. Perfect: I had boobs?
Me: Both of our boobs are gone!
Mr. Perfect: Shut up fatty!
Stupidest Loser - Weigh In 5
This week everyone weighed in on their own due to scheduling madness.
It appears that weighing in at 4 a.m. worked out quite well for me.
And yes folks, Josh is actually losing weight and Mr. Perfect pulled a reverse Erin (I dropped 4lbs then held steady for weeks).
Don't worry, I'm counting on some sabotage from Em to help me finish strong.
The final weigh in, the only one that actually matters, is this week. Mr. Perfect and I leave for KC on Saturday morning, so we'll either do a Friday weigh in before work or Saturday pre-flight.
It appears that weighing in at 4 a.m. worked out quite well for me.
And yes folks, Josh is actually losing weight and Mr. Perfect pulled a reverse Erin (I dropped 4lbs then held steady for weeks).Don't worry, I'm counting on some sabotage from Em to help me finish strong.
The final weigh in, the only one that actually matters, is this week. Mr. Perfect and I leave for KC on Saturday morning, so we'll either do a Friday weigh in before work or Saturday pre-flight.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
almost there
So ready to be home. Leaving KC in moments (to return on Saturday). Great trip with Shell and Maddie, got dinner delivered by K-diddy, Em and Kate (Mr. Perfect requested 5 Guys as sabatoge and then they gave me cookies bigger than my face). But now, now it is time to go home.
Blown Away
Wow.
So we thought last night was bad with the creeks and the wind and the noise and the building moving.
Yeah.
Well.
It's doing it again.
And Shell was so freaked out by the creaking (it really sounds like we're in a boat) that she just called the front desk. They said the building is built on rotating somethings and that it flexes and they got a lot of calls last night and... it's going to be worse tonight.
I don't know how to explain how bad it is - the interior walls are making noises, folks. It's so creepy. It's really like being on a small boat - and according to Shell, going over small icebergs. AND SHE'S DONE THAT!
I was going to go up to the 45 floor (20 floors higher than us) to see what it's like up there until Shell talked me out of it by reminding me I would have to put pants on. So true.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Quick Update
Madeline's appointment went fabulously today.
The doctors confirmed our suspicions - she's perfect-o.
Sleepless in Seattle
We are staying at a hotel downtown on the 25th floor. Yesterday, the wind really picked up and only got worse at night. Shell and I were both awake from 4-5 a.m. listening to the wind. It sounded like the metal balcony was going to be ripped off the building. The creaking was so loud, every time I started to fall asleep it would groan loudly and wake me again. Shell said she felt like she was on a boat. The creaking made it seem as though the building was pitching back and forth.
Luckily, we both fell back asleep for a bit.
Luckily, we both fell back asleep for a bit.
Right now we are waiting for our ride to the hospital for Maddie's check up.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Seattle!
We just landed in Seattle!
High (and low) lights so far:
- Saw Kandi (Candi?) of Real Housewives of Atlanta at airport in DC
- Was seated 16 rows apart from Shell, even though we originally had seats together. It worked out fine in the end.
On to the fish market!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Ugly Truth
A few hours ago, like at 8 p.m., Mr. Perfect told me I needed to go to bed.
Because I had to get up in 8 hours.
Ugh.
6 a.m. flights are for the birds!!
Literally!
Only birds should be out flying around that early.
Who is bringing me breakfast for my morning layover in Kansas City??
I arrive right before 8 a.m.
Midwest.
It doesn't matter - for some reason I've packed like a first time flying middle age woman from the Midwest. Seriously. An apple, granola bar, trail mix and homemade pumpkin bread in a reusable container. I know, it's confusing to me too.
Because I had to get up in 8 hours.
Ugh.
6 a.m. flights are for the birds!!
Literally!
Only birds should be out flying around that early.
Who is bringing me breakfast for my morning layover in Kansas City??
I arrive right before 8 a.m.
Midwest.
It doesn't matter - for some reason I've packed like a first time flying middle age woman from the Midwest. Seriously. An apple, granola bar, trail mix and homemade pumpkin bread in a reusable container. I know, it's confusing to me too.
Mixing it Up
Last Saturday, I surprised Mr. Perfect with a cocktail making class at Enology Wine Bar. It's a huge trend in DC right now for bars to have rotating (sometimes nightly) cocktail menus featuring classic/retro cocktails, homemade infused liquors, and seasonal mixers.
Mr. Perfect and I have really enjoyed taking advantage of this trend, then trying to replicate drinks at home. The class, at $40 per person (plus the 30% for tax and gratuity that I didn't realize was not included - fuck.) seemed like a good fit.
The setup was great. Everyone in the class, about 12-15 people, was seated at the bar. We each had our own cocktail menu, recipe list, drink tips, history and assorted swag -- we walked away with matching shakers, stirrers, and really nice glass bottle topper/pourers with the Crown Royal logo in 3-D.
To start off, Chris, the bartender/teacher, gave us a history lesson. While interesting, I'm not going to lie - I would have enjoyed it and felt more into the spirit of the class if he had combined his teaching with a cocktail. For example, he spoke of the importance of rum to the formation of the U.S., a rum cocktail would have been an excellent pairing! I don't think I would have noticed if not for the fact the lesson ended up taking about 45 minutes. I was really getting antsy for some cocktail action by then.
After cocktails 101, Chris started making some drinks from the recipe list, giving tips along the way.
The first drink he made was my favorite drink of the day - the Hemingway Daiquiri.
Hemingway Daiquiri
2 oz rum
1 oz grapefruit juice
1 oz lime sour (lime juice & simple syrup)
sugar rim
shaken, served on the rocks
It was so fresh, crisp and delicious!
The only downside to the class - I assumed that we would each be given a tasting glass - most likely re-purposed shot glasses - to sample the drinks.
Not. the. case.
Instead, Chris made two of each cocktail, then had everyone use straws to drink from them and pass them down the line.
Kinda creepy.
Especially now that my throat is a tad sore.
Chris continued to make cocktails thrown in with some history, tips and alcohol purchasing and serving recommendations. About an hour and a half through the 2 hour class, it was time for food and hands-on fun.
Awesome flatbread pizzas were brought out for us to devour. Ok, for me to devour, most people snacked politely. Then, one by one, we got to step behind the bar and make a cocktail of our choice.
Mr. Perfect made some really nasty black liquorish tasting drink. He liked it though. I could actually appreciate the layers of flavors in the drink, but still, Blech.
My drink wasn't quite what I expected. Not bad, nothing amazing. I still thought the Hemingway Daquiri (thanks T. Hart for pointing out my Margarita typo - one of these days I will have you start editing pre-posting.) was my favorite - until we came home - that was when Mr. Perfect made the Apple Jack Swizzle. I wasn't sure how I would respond to this drink, I am not a fan of brandy/bourbon/whiskey drinks typically - but this one, ooohhhh this one. Even though it's served on ice, it has a great fall warm you up feeling to it! Also, we were able to make this drink with ingredients we already had around the house.
Apple Jack Swizzle
1/2 oz apple brandy (or whatever kind of brandy you have)
1.5 oz rum
1 oz lime juice (he used bottled)
1 oz cinnamon syrup (simple syrup with cinnamon, or 1 oz simple syrup with dash of cinnamon powder)
dash bitters
on the rocks
Chris was emphatic that none of us ever bought a store mixer again, and after hearing how easy/cheap it is to make most of the mixers you need, I have to agree. Plus, I almost never enjoy margaritas because they are made with that nasty store bought mix. There is just something too tart in an artificial way about them.
So, if you don't have time to boil down some sugar and water into a simple syrup (then customize with lemon juice to make margaritas and other drinks, or cinnamon, or on and on and on), you can take a short cut by shaking equal parts sugar and water until they are combined. This is the route Mr. Perfect took. It worked out quite well.
Drink up!
Keyword Search of the Day: a story about horrible adventures
Mr. Perfect and I have really enjoyed taking advantage of this trend, then trying to replicate drinks at home. The class, at $40 per person (plus the 30% for tax and gratuity that I didn't realize was not included - fuck.) seemed like a good fit.
The setup was great. Everyone in the class, about 12-15 people, was seated at the bar. We each had our own cocktail menu, recipe list, drink tips, history and assorted swag -- we walked away with matching shakers, stirrers, and really nice glass bottle topper/pourers with the Crown Royal logo in 3-D.
To start off, Chris, the bartender/teacher, gave us a history lesson. While interesting, I'm not going to lie - I would have enjoyed it and felt more into the spirit of the class if he had combined his teaching with a cocktail. For example, he spoke of the importance of rum to the formation of the U.S., a rum cocktail would have been an excellent pairing! I don't think I would have noticed if not for the fact the lesson ended up taking about 45 minutes. I was really getting antsy for some cocktail action by then.
After cocktails 101, Chris started making some drinks from the recipe list, giving tips along the way.
The first drink he made was my favorite drink of the day - the Hemingway Daiquiri.
Hemingway Daiquiri
2 oz rum
1 oz grapefruit juice
1 oz lime sour (lime juice & simple syrup)
sugar rim
shaken, served on the rocks
It was so fresh, crisp and delicious!
The only downside to the class - I assumed that we would each be given a tasting glass - most likely re-purposed shot glasses - to sample the drinks.
Not. the. case.
Instead, Chris made two of each cocktail, then had everyone use straws to drink from them and pass them down the line.
Kinda creepy.
Especially now that my throat is a tad sore.
Chris continued to make cocktails thrown in with some history, tips and alcohol purchasing and serving recommendations. About an hour and a half through the 2 hour class, it was time for food and hands-on fun.
Awesome flatbread pizzas were brought out for us to devour. Ok, for me to devour, most people snacked politely. Then, one by one, we got to step behind the bar and make a cocktail of our choice.
Mr. Perfect made some really nasty black liquorish tasting drink. He liked it though. I could actually appreciate the layers of flavors in the drink, but still, Blech.
My drink wasn't quite what I expected. Not bad, nothing amazing. I still thought the Hemingway Daquiri (thanks T. Hart for pointing out my Margarita typo - one of these days I will have you start editing pre-posting.) was my favorite - until we came home - that was when Mr. Perfect made the Apple Jack Swizzle. I wasn't sure how I would respond to this drink, I am not a fan of brandy/bourbon/whiskey drinks typically - but this one, ooohhhh this one. Even though it's served on ice, it has a great fall warm you up feeling to it! Also, we were able to make this drink with ingredients we already had around the house.Apple Jack Swizzle
1/2 oz apple brandy (or whatever kind of brandy you have)
1.5 oz rum
1 oz lime juice (he used bottled)
1 oz cinnamon syrup (simple syrup with cinnamon, or 1 oz simple syrup with dash of cinnamon powder)
dash bitters
on the rocks
Chris was emphatic that none of us ever bought a store mixer again, and after hearing how easy/cheap it is to make most of the mixers you need, I have to agree. Plus, I almost never enjoy margaritas because they are made with that nasty store bought mix. There is just something too tart in an artificial way about them.
So, if you don't have time to boil down some sugar and water into a simple syrup (then customize with lemon juice to make margaritas and other drinks, or cinnamon, or on and on and on), you can take a short cut by shaking equal parts sugar and water until they are combined. This is the route Mr. Perfect took. It worked out quite well.
Drink up!
Keyword Search of the Day: a story about horrible adventures
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Looking In
Me: I'm scared of failure.
Mr. Perfect: All you can do is your best.
Me: Yeah, but what if my best is embarrassingly bad?
Rain and stuff
My umbrella has flipped inside out at least 34 times in the past 48 hours.
I feel it appropriately conveys the amount of wind-craziness.
As annoying as it is to get rained on as you are climbing up the escalator out of the metro, and then to fight past everyone opening their umbrellas on the steps, it's also kinda beautiful.
Did you know when your umbrella flips right side out that it is very likely to spray you with water?
Also, it's very hard to walk with your umbrella directly in front of you, which is what these crazy Nor'easter winds are forcing me to do. I attempted to photograph the girl walking ahead of me this morning, body leaning into the wind with umbrella directly in front of her. Then the wind blew like the dickens and this is the photo I got: 
I feel it appropriately conveys the amount of wind-craziness.
As annoying as it is to get rained on as you are climbing up the escalator out of the metro, and then to fight past everyone opening their umbrellas on the steps, it's also kinda beautiful.
There is just something slightly twee (really, as if it were staged) about all the brightly colored umbrellas crammed together, lining the escalator stairs.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I Totally Can Believe It's Not Butter
I saw some pumpkin butter the other day at the store. I love pumpkin stuff, I love apple butter, so this seemed like a must-have. Just as I was getting ready to toss it in the cart for an impulse buy, I decided to look at the ingredients.
Pumpkin, sugar, corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup.
In that order.
How is it necessary to add three different types of sugar??
Didn't buy it.
Pumpkin, sugar, corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup.
In that order.
How is it necessary to add three different types of sugar??
Didn't buy it.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Haiku Tuesday - Flasher Edition
Nice day for a walk.
Vomit in my mouth.
Strange streaking karma?
Looking for flasher.
Girl does pirouette,
high kick. Then I see penis.
Odd day in the park.
Perv Alert
When I first moved to DC I heard stories from my girlfriends about perverts exposing themselves on the metro. I heard a lot of these stories. Like, it had happened to more than a handful of girls I knew.
I don't take it lightly - it's not funny. For one thing, that person is taking advantage of you. Also, experts always talk about how sexual predators will often start out by doing something small, like flashing, before moving on the physical violence.
I always wondered what I would do in that situation.
And today, on my damn lunch break I found out.
I decided to take a short walk up 23rd Street NW. I considered other routes, but decided on 23rd St NW because Rock Creek juts out at 23rd & O and there is a nice bit of park. I've gone there before during lunch breaks, and had awkward encounters with small dogs.
Perhaps I should have learned my lesson!
As I walked past the park on my left, I was looking through the trees to the people down the hill - homeless people napping, a guy sitting on the ground watching a girl dance, and some others walking around.
Suddenly, I noticed a man standing in the trees about half-way down the hill. He was standing awkwardly, almost up against a tree. In an almost instantaneous reaction sort of thing, I glanced back at him as I thought to myself, "is he ... peeing??"
Yes, I know it is stupid to look back to confirm that suspicion, but it was really a knee-jerk reaction.
Also, I'm super naive - I'm either staring at things I shouldn't be looking at (people fighting) or not noticing things I should be aware of (people fighting).
So I glanced back and right then, he turns and BAM! penis.
The pervert just kicked it up a notch.
I looked away.
Shocked.
Then pissed.
I kept walking.
But then, then I thought, "Oh Hellllll NO!"
Whipped out my phone.
Turned around.
Called 911.
And followed that sonofabitch as he started to quickly walk away towards O Street.
He saw me on my phone following him, and sped off around the corner, out of my sight.
Before the cops got there, and as I circled around the block looking for him (white man, 50-60 years old, wearing all black with tan baseball cap, white hair peeking out) I think I saw him double-back. An older man, fitting his description, came running down the block wearing only black shorts and carrying a bundle of clothing.
He disappeared by a van parked next to the park. The only thing that made sense was that he was getting in a car/that van to leave.
Listen pervs, do not fuck with me. I am not afraid of your old man penis. I will follow you. I will call the cops. I will do everything I can to help them find you.
Which, in this case, included walking around the block trying to find him, waiting for the police, flagging down a police car and filling him in (my call hadn't gotten to him yet - as we were talking it came through on his computer).
I filled the cop in as much as I could, including the tidbit about the van, and left.
Curiosity got the most of me - I couldn't help but wonder if the cop looked around and then just drove off - so I went back about 4 minutes later.
I was happy to see there were now three cop cars parked there, with cops out and about.
I can only hope that if they didn't catch the perv that perhaps the man was scared enough to think twice before doing this again.
I called Mr. Perfect in the middle of all of this to let him know what happened. He was pretty shocked and told me, "Never go outside again."
Not nearly as cute or funny was my co worker's reaction. She said she would have just laughed. You know, I get it.
Peni are funny.
But this is not*.
This might seem overly dramatic, but when you think of situations like Jaycee Dugard where people trusted their gut and made the call, well - they saved lives. I will always assume this person is dangerous (yes, I followed him, but it was in the middle of the day with people everywhere - I also stopped at certain times if the street was empty, didn't get close to the van, etc etc). And I will always report it to try to get them off the streets.
*ok, yes, there are parts of this that are kinda funny, especially the jokes I could make about my poor sensitive eyes and how this is the first penis I've seen in real life blar blar blar. But still, you call the cops, you help them find him, then you make the inappropriate jokes. And you make up slogans like, "If He Flashes the Peenie, Don't Be a Weenie! Call the Cops!" or "If It's Out With a Flop, Call a Cop!" or "He Shows You the Bone, Pick Up Your Phone!"
UPDATED: This just in from Marky: "Exposed to his twig? Call a pig." Nice work, Markus.
Keep them coming in the comments. Marky has suggested I make posters with these sayings and post them around 23rd & O. I think I may have to also work on some PSAs that incorporate our slogans.
I don't take it lightly - it's not funny. For one thing, that person is taking advantage of you. Also, experts always talk about how sexual predators will often start out by doing something small, like flashing, before moving on the physical violence.
I always wondered what I would do in that situation.
And today, on my damn lunch break I found out.
I decided to take a short walk up 23rd Street NW. I considered other routes, but decided on 23rd St NW because Rock Creek juts out at 23rd & O and there is a nice bit of park. I've gone there before during lunch breaks, and had awkward encounters with small dogs.
Perhaps I should have learned my lesson!
As I walked past the park on my left, I was looking through the trees to the people down the hill - homeless people napping, a guy sitting on the ground watching a girl dance, and some others walking around.
Suddenly, I noticed a man standing in the trees about half-way down the hill. He was standing awkwardly, almost up against a tree. In an almost instantaneous reaction sort of thing, I glanced back at him as I thought to myself, "is he ... peeing??"
Yes, I know it is stupid to look back to confirm that suspicion, but it was really a knee-jerk reaction.
Also, I'm super naive - I'm either staring at things I shouldn't be looking at (people fighting) or not noticing things I should be aware of (people fighting).
So I glanced back and right then, he turns and BAM! penis.
The pervert just kicked it up a notch.
I looked away.
Shocked.
Then pissed.
I kept walking.
But then, then I thought, "Oh Hellllll NO!"
Whipped out my phone.
Turned around.
Called 911.
And followed that sonofabitch as he started to quickly walk away towards O Street.
He saw me on my phone following him, and sped off around the corner, out of my sight.
Before the cops got there, and as I circled around the block looking for him (white man, 50-60 years old, wearing all black with tan baseball cap, white hair peeking out) I think I saw him double-back. An older man, fitting his description, came running down the block wearing only black shorts and carrying a bundle of clothing.
He disappeared by a van parked next to the park. The only thing that made sense was that he was getting in a car/that van to leave.
Listen pervs, do not fuck with me. I am not afraid of your old man penis. I will follow you. I will call the cops. I will do everything I can to help them find you.
Which, in this case, included walking around the block trying to find him, waiting for the police, flagging down a police car and filling him in (my call hadn't gotten to him yet - as we were talking it came through on his computer).
I filled the cop in as much as I could, including the tidbit about the van, and left.
Curiosity got the most of me - I couldn't help but wonder if the cop looked around and then just drove off - so I went back about 4 minutes later.
I was happy to see there were now three cop cars parked there, with cops out and about.
I can only hope that if they didn't catch the perv that perhaps the man was scared enough to think twice before doing this again.
I called Mr. Perfect in the middle of all of this to let him know what happened. He was pretty shocked and told me, "Never go outside again."
Not nearly as cute or funny was my co worker's reaction. She said she would have just laughed. You know, I get it.
Peni are funny.
But this is not*.
This might seem overly dramatic, but when you think of situations like Jaycee Dugard where people trusted their gut and made the call, well - they saved lives. I will always assume this person is dangerous (yes, I followed him, but it was in the middle of the day with people everywhere - I also stopped at certain times if the street was empty, didn't get close to the van, etc etc). And I will always report it to try to get them off the streets.
*ok, yes, there are parts of this that are kinda funny, especially the jokes I could make about my poor sensitive eyes and how this is the first penis I've seen in real life blar blar blar. But still, you call the cops, you help them find him, then you make the inappropriate jokes. And you make up slogans like, "If He Flashes the Peenie, Don't Be a Weenie! Call the Cops!" or "If It's Out With a Flop, Call a Cop!" or "He Shows You the Bone, Pick Up Your Phone!"
UPDATED: This just in from Marky: "Exposed to his twig? Call a pig." Nice work, Markus.
Keep them coming in the comments. Marky has suggested I make posters with these sayings and post them around 23rd & O. I think I may have to also work on some PSAs that incorporate our slogans.
Monday, November 09, 2009
In Which I Rationalize Hot Pink and Black Zebra Sparkly Jackets
Shell was in town last week for work, which included an 80's Gala on Friday.
Yup.
An 80's Gala.
For work.
I immediately started rounding up 80's supplies for the night. H&M was an excellent resource. One lunch break speed walking then speed shopping in H&M and $180 later I had a massive pile of gold, glittery, spandexy, teal-ish and leg warmery type things.
I returned everything today.
Why?
Because I realized I had everything I needed to outfit myself in my closet. Sad/true/awesome and then awkward when people ask where you got your outfit.
Truth: I bought the hot pink/black/sparkly jacket at Goodwill for $3. It still had the original price tag of $134 on it. Yeah.
No joke.
I had to look up the manufacturer after seeing the original price. And yup! Sold in a boutique that is in most of the major Vegas casinos.
Of course it is!
It's really kinda sad because the cut and fit of the jacket is fantastic - the fabric leaves everything wanting.
So I'm wearing head to toe: massively curled and ratted hair, huge hoop earrings, about 5 necklaces, rings, bracelets, basic little black dress with hot pink bra (straps showing when I took off the jacket - duh) - used safety pins to put pick-ups in skirt to expose the tulle a la Madonna, overpriced MILF/Cougarish jacket snagged from Goodwill, most pleathery jacket ever (a steal from the now defunct Steve & Barry's - was like $7 original price), black mega fishnets layered over hot pink tights, black pumps, black shiny cheap-o purse. Shit ton of makeup that bordered on tranny/made me look so good I'm totally convinced 80's is where it's at. Eye shadow colors included: blue, teal, lime green, pink, purple. Hell. Yes.
I found Shell the most perfect purple 80's dress ever at Goodwill. In fact, she looked so legit I preferred telling people she didn't have time to get a costume together. She looked almost embarrassingly good, especially next to my "Mr. Perfect couldn't/wouldn't let me walk into the hotel alone and wait for Shell in the lobby because we were both concerned I may get picked up for solicitation" look.
This photo kills me. Shell looks so fabulously 80's. I couldn't figure out why the eyes closed enhanced the 80's look so much, then I realized duh, this was pre-digital cameras. Everyone has a ton of eyes-closed photos floating around from then!
Again, just like the jacket, her dress was really super flattering. It's so hard to admit, but ... the shoulder pads really do enhance your figure/slim the waistline! I hate myself for writing this.
Oh, you know what else they had at Goodwill?
Scrunchies.
And what, bitches!
Welllll helllllllllo eyeshadow! 
Yup.
An 80's Gala.
For work.
I immediately started rounding up 80's supplies for the night. H&M was an excellent resource. One lunch break speed walking then speed shopping in H&M and $180 later I had a massive pile of gold, glittery, spandexy, teal-ish and leg warmery type things.
I returned everything today.
Why?
Because I realized I had everything I needed to outfit myself in my closet. Sad/true/awesome and then awkward when people ask where you got your outfit.
Truth: I bought the hot pink/black/sparkly jacket at Goodwill for $3. It still had the original price tag of $134 on it. Yeah.
No joke.
I had to look up the manufacturer after seeing the original price. And yup! Sold in a boutique that is in most of the major Vegas casinos.
Of course it is!
It's really kinda sad because the cut and fit of the jacket is fantastic - the fabric leaves everything wanting.
So I'm wearing head to toe: massively curled and ratted hair, huge hoop earrings, about 5 necklaces, rings, bracelets, basic little black dress with hot pink bra (straps showing when I took off the jacket - duh) - used safety pins to put pick-ups in skirt to expose the tulle a la Madonna, overpriced MILF/Cougarish jacket snagged from Goodwill, most pleathery jacket ever (a steal from the now defunct Steve & Barry's - was like $7 original price), black mega fishnets layered over hot pink tights, black pumps, black shiny cheap-o purse. Shit ton of makeup that bordered on tranny/made me look so good I'm totally convinced 80's is where it's at. Eye shadow colors included: blue, teal, lime green, pink, purple. Hell. Yes.
I found Shell the most perfect purple 80's dress ever at Goodwill. In fact, she looked so legit I preferred telling people she didn't have time to get a costume together. She looked almost embarrassingly good, especially next to my "Mr. Perfect couldn't/wouldn't let me walk into the hotel alone and wait for Shell in the lobby because we were both concerned I may get picked up for solicitation" look.
This photo kills me. Shell looks so fabulously 80's. I couldn't figure out why the eyes closed enhanced the 80's look so much, then I realized duh, this was pre-digital cameras. Everyone has a ton of eyes-closed photos floating around from then!
Again, just like the jacket, her dress was really super flattering. It's so hard to admit, but ... the shoulder pads really do enhance your figure/slim the waistline! I hate myself for writing this.
Oh, you know what else they had at Goodwill?Scrunchies.
And what, bitches!
Welllll helllllllllo eyeshadow! Best comment from Shell: Dang! Our hair just isn't big enough! I had the same damn problem in high school!!
Stupidest Loser - Weigh In 4
That's right.Mr. Perfect and I apparently have majorly plateaued.
Perhaps that has something to do with the 10-ish pounds we lost before starting The Stupidest Loser?
Josh's strict dieting and lack of alcohol apparently paid off, although he has another pound to go before reaching his starting weight. How boring would this competition be if Josh hadn't gained?
In other Josh/Stupidest Loser news, Mr. Perfect made some really awesome Snickerdoodle cookies last night. When the cookie sabotage failed to entice Josh, I took the matter into my own hands.
Literally.
I forced cookie into his mouth (tip: pinch the nose shut so they are forced to open mouth to breath - thanks to my 3 brothers for years of training in this matter! They used the technique to {warning, you may vomit} spit loogies in each others mouths. Yeah. Disgusting.).
Josh spit all of the cookie out, but I'm sure a few sugar crystals made their way into his stomach.
UPDATE: Thanks to faithstwin for the reminder regarding Klaus' 100lb weight loss. Week 3 when Klaus wasn't around but we had another house guest, we decided that whomever was at our house Saturday morning for weigh in would be lucky enough to sub for Klaus. So yeah, he didn't lose his legs.
Time to Shop!
November 12-15 you can save 30% off purchases at Gap/Old Navy/Banana Republic and 5% of your purchase will be donated to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
Get your coupon here and use it as many times as you like!
Get your coupon here and use it as many times as you like!
Friday, November 06, 2009
Best Thing I've Ever Made
The other day, a little birdy put the thought of Chicken & Dumplings in my mind. And I couldn't shake it.
Even though I don't know for sure if I've ever even had chicken and dumplings, I felt quite certain I would love them. See, I'm not a big chicken and noodles girl (with huge, fat egg noodles served, starch-ily enough, on top of mashed potatoes), but I love me some biscuits. And dumplings seemed close enough to biscuits.
This also seemed to be a meal that Mr. Perfect could consume while on the mend and a really great idea on a chilly fall night.
I turned to my favorite source for recipes, Smitten Kitchen, and found exactly what I was looking for.
Who knew something so tasty would photograph so... grossly?
CI notes that you should not use low-fat or fat-free milk in this recipe, and that you should start the dumpling dough only when you’re ready to top the stew with the dumplings.
Serves 6 to 8
Stew
1. For the stew: Pat the chicken dry with paper towels, then season with salt and pepper. Heat 2 teaspoons of the oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat until just smoking. Add half of the chicken and cook until golden on both sides, about 10 minutes. Transfer the chicken to a plate and remove the browned skin. Pour off the chicken fat and reserve. Return the pot to medium-high heat and repeat with the remaining 2 teaspoons oil and the remaining chicken. Pour off and reserve any chicken fat.
2. Add the butter to the Dutch oven and melt over medium-high heat. Add the leeks, onion, and 1/4 teaspoon salt and cook until softened, about 7 minutes. Stir in the flour. Whisk in the sherry, scraping up any browned bits. Stir in the broth, milk, thyme, and bay leaves. Nestle the chicken, with any accumulated juices, into the pot. Cover and simmer until the chicken is fully cooked and tender, about 1 hour.
3. Transfer the chicken to a cutting board. Discard the bay leaves. Allow the sauce to settle for a few minutes, then skim the fat from the surface using a wide spoon. Shred the chicken, discarding the bones, then return it to the stew.
4. For the dumplings: Stir the flour, baking powder, and salt together. Microwave the milk and fat in a microwave-safe bowl on high until just warm (do not over-heat), about 1 minute. Stir the warmed milk mixture into the flour mixture with a wooden spoon until incorporated and smooth.
5. Return the stew to a simmer, stir in the peas and tarragon, and season with salt and pepper. Following the steps below, drop golf-ball-sized dumplings over the top of the stew, about 1/4 inch apart (you should have about 18 dumplings). Reduce the heat to low, cover, and cook until the dumplings have doubled in size, 15 to 18 minutes. Serve.
To make the dumplings: Gather a golf-ball-sized portion of the dumpling batter onto a soup spoon, then push the dumpling onto the stew using a second spoon. Cover the stew with the dumplings, leaving about 1/4 inch between each. When fully cooked, the dumplings will have doubled in size.
Even though I don't know for sure if I've ever even had chicken and dumplings, I felt quite certain I would love them. See, I'm not a big chicken and noodles girl (with huge, fat egg noodles served, starch-ily enough, on top of mashed potatoes), but I love me some biscuits. And dumplings seemed close enough to biscuits.
This also seemed to be a meal that Mr. Perfect could consume while on the mend and a really great idea on a chilly fall night.
I turned to my favorite source for recipes, Smitten Kitchen, and found exactly what I was looking for.
Who knew something so tasty would photograph so... grossly?Folks.
You. Must. Make. This.
It was easy, so beyond tasty, cheap, and not too crazy time consuming. If you were planning ahead, you could make the soup portion of this, then the next day (or whenever you were going to eat it) reheat and make the dumplings fresh.
I don't care how you do it, just DO IT.
Chicken and Dumplings with Leeks and Tarragon
Adapted from Cook’s Illustrated, February 2005
CI notes that you should not use low-fat or fat-free milk in this recipe, and that you should start the dumpling dough only when you’re ready to top the stew with the dumplings.
Serves 6 to 8
Stew
5 pounds bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs
Table salt and ground black pepper
4 teaspoons vegetable oil
4 tablespoons unsalted butter (1/2 stick)
2 medium leeks , white and light green parts only, cut in half lengthwise and then into 1-inch pieces
1 large onion, minced
6 tablespoons unbleached all-purpose flour
1/4 cup dry sherry
4 1/2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1/4 cup whole milk
1 teaspoon minced fresh thyme leaves
2 bay leaves
1 cup frozen green peas
3 tablespoons minced fresh tarragon leaves
Dumplings
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon table salt
1 cup whole milk
3 tablespoons reserved chicken fat (or unsalted butter)
1. For the stew: Pat the chicken dry with paper towels, then season with salt and pepper. Heat 2 teaspoons of the oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat until just smoking. Add half of the chicken and cook until golden on both sides, about 10 minutes. Transfer the chicken to a plate and remove the browned skin. Pour off the chicken fat and reserve. Return the pot to medium-high heat and repeat with the remaining 2 teaspoons oil and the remaining chicken. Pour off and reserve any chicken fat.
2. Add the butter to the Dutch oven and melt over medium-high heat. Add the leeks, onion, and 1/4 teaspoon salt and cook until softened, about 7 minutes. Stir in the flour. Whisk in the sherry, scraping up any browned bits. Stir in the broth, milk, thyme, and bay leaves. Nestle the chicken, with any accumulated juices, into the pot. Cover and simmer until the chicken is fully cooked and tender, about 1 hour.
3. Transfer the chicken to a cutting board. Discard the bay leaves. Allow the sauce to settle for a few minutes, then skim the fat from the surface using a wide spoon. Shred the chicken, discarding the bones, then return it to the stew.
4. For the dumplings: Stir the flour, baking powder, and salt together. Microwave the milk and fat in a microwave-safe bowl on high until just warm (do not over-heat), about 1 minute. Stir the warmed milk mixture into the flour mixture with a wooden spoon until incorporated and smooth.
5. Return the stew to a simmer, stir in the peas and tarragon, and season with salt and pepper. Following the steps below, drop golf-ball-sized dumplings over the top of the stew, about 1/4 inch apart (you should have about 18 dumplings). Reduce the heat to low, cover, and cook until the dumplings have doubled in size, 15 to 18 minutes. Serve.
To make the dumplings: Gather a golf-ball-sized portion of the dumpling batter onto a soup spoon, then push the dumpling onto the stew using a second spoon. Cover the stew with the dumplings, leaving about 1/4 inch between each. When fully cooked, the dumplings will have doubled in size.
Erin's Changes/Notes:
We used port for the sherry, olive oil for vegetable oil - but I don't know if that was wise, I had an issue with my chicken sticking to the pan.
I added about 2-3 garlic (duh) cloves and quite a few healthy shakes of cayenne.
I also chopped up some errant baby carrots and sauteed them for a few moments with the butter before tossing in the massive quantities of onion and leeks. This worked out perfectly and I recommend. Would also add celery.
We didn't have fresh herbs, dried worked out very well.
We had a 4 cup box of chicken broth. I meant to add a 1/2 cup of water, but forgot. Mr. Perfect loved the thickness, but I wouldn't mind keeping it a bit soupier. That half-cup might have helped prevent the slight sticking to pan burnage that happened at the end of the cooking (didn't affect flavor - just don't scrape up the burnt to the bottom portions!).
The dumpling dough was perfect and very easy to work with. When I ran out of surface area in the pot, I just pushed a few under to make way for the final dumplings.
I'm very curious as to how this would freeze. We had a debate about how the dumplings would fare thawing/reheating.
Basically, this tasted like home - it doesn't matter that Mom never made anything like this - it just did.
Off to eat it for lunch!
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Well Hello There!
A fun part of living in the DC area - when you are sitting outside drinking tea and the President* drives by.
It's just one of those little things that is slightly silly, but fun and exciting.
In a random aside - Mr. Perfect is doing quite well today. He's actually at work. Legally awake, I assume.
*or First Lady. Or Vice President. Or Second Lady - that is what they call the VP's wife, right?? Anyway, you can't always tell who is in the car.
It's just one of those little things that is slightly silly, but fun and exciting.
In a random aside - Mr. Perfect is doing quite well today. He's actually at work. Legally awake, I assume.
*or First Lady. Or Vice President. Or Second Lady - that is what they call the VP's wife, right?? Anyway, you can't always tell who is in the car.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Legally Asleep
This morning Mr. Perfect had all of his wisdom teeth removed. The procedure went very well and was over in about a half-hour. Then I had the pleasure to sit with him in the recovery area.
And that folks, is where the magic happened.
Keep in mind that he's still coming out from anesthesia. And his mouth is full of gauze.
I walk into the room. He is sitting in a chair, slightly reclined with a heart rate monitor on one of his fingers and gauze sticking out of his mouth.
And he insisted I kiss him.
It was hilarious and bad all at the same time.
Remember when you read the following that he's slurring through all of these comments.
Then he told me that his heart rate was 59 when they first put the monitor on him and, "Is 59 legally asleep.... Or... is it legally dead?"
That's when I pulled out a piece of paper to start writing down the beautiful things he had to say.
"They thought I was legally dead. I was legally asleep."
"They put things in my drugs."
"I don't remember anything!!!"
"They put arms in my drugs."
The nurse came over to switch out the gauze in his mouth. It was quite bloody. And he had quite the reaction.
He sounded somewhere between shocked and aggressive when he said, "IS that my blood, or yours??"
The nurse replied, "Yours!"
"Ok," he said, "I didn't know if it was mine or I bit someone."
While the nurse was giving me instructions on Mr. Perfect's care, I started to get calls on my cell phone. After she was done, I called back the number. It was one of Mr. Perfect's coworkers calling to tell me something about a project they were working on.
Uhhh yeah... pretty sure neither Mr. Perfect nor I are going to remember anything you have to say.
Mr. Perfect motioned that he wanted the phone, so I handed it over. Why not.
After a failed attempt to talk, I took the phone back and Mr. Perfect attempted to text his coworker.
One of the ladies from the front desk came out and attempted to schedule the follow-up appointment.
Seriously? Seriously lady? We couldn't have done this before he was totally drugged out? It was so annoying because she actually looked mad at me for saying that we would call back later to schedule it because I don't know his schedule and he certainly can't think about it right now.
Then Mr. Perfect yelled at her, "I CAN'T TYPE INSTRUCTIONS! It won't say INSTRUCTIONS"
And I loved him so much in that moment.
The lady finally got it and left, and Mr. Perfect went back to his texting.
When the lady came back out with the bill, I was, once again annoyed with her and happy with Mr. Perfect. Just like when I get a manicure, he had already pulled the appropriate credit card out of his wallet and had it ready in his pocket.
Good.
When she brought the receipt for him to sign, he loudly whispered to me, "Did you haggle?"
Yes folks, it was the Mr. Perfect comedy hour and I loved it.
The doctor came by to check on my patient. When he asked Mr. Perfect how he was doing, Mr. Perfect whined, "It's so hard to do business calls! I couldn't do my business call!"
It was finally time to head home. The nurse came over and took the heart monitor off Mr. Perfect's finger. As she walked away, he turned to me and whispered in a very serious tone, "I died....."
As we walked towards the elevators, his arm around me for support, he begged me to take the stairs. I laughed along with the women behind the front desk as the elevator doors shut.
And then he turned to me.
And with blood smeared on his teeth and lips, he tried to make out with me.
And it was the grossest/funniest thing ever, as I pushed him away laughing and he slurred, "come on baby..."
Thank God it was only a one-story ride.
I think Mr. Perfect is the most entertaining patient a girl could ask for.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
November. I Like Your Style.
I've been looking forward to November for a while.
Mostly because:
1) Shell is coming to town (right now - well, actually right now she's sitting in a plane in KC waiting to leave).
Not only do we get to hang out, we get to hang out at an 80's themed party. Yesplease.
2) Mr. Perfect is getting his wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow. This is good because I get a reason to take off from temping, his headaches will go away, and I'm counting on some drug-induced hilarity. Let's hope that hilarity doesn't include dry heaving, which I did the moment I woke up from having mine removed. Ew.
3) Surprise for Mr. Perfect on Saturday. He best be healed by then.
4) Next weekend I'm going to Seattle with Shell and Madeline. It's time for Madeline's one year checkup for her surgery. It seems like so much longer than one year...
I can't wait to see Miss Maddie.
She is not a baby anymore.
--sigh--
Just the other day, she left me a voicemail saying, "I love you Air-win!"
5) Nov. 20th. The final weigh in for Stupidest Loser. I would say we will find out who wins, but we all know it's, The Stupidest Loser: Where There Are No Winners.
6) The weekend after Seattle, Mr. Perfect and I will head to KC for the entire week of Thanksgiving!
I am in serious need of niece/nephew time. No joke. At brunch on Sunday, I was so desperate to hold the baby next to us that I think Josh thought he was going to have to restrain me.
Also dying to see the rest of the family, Carm & Soph, M&M - my favorite tropical storms (and N&M's new place!), Erin & Nick + Tab & J&M, Goodie, Heather & Dave & AMELIA, KC & JoJo, Shea!Carly!, T. Hart, and many more.
A lot to look forward to - a lot of travel, but most important - a LOT of people I love.
Mostly because:
1) Shell is coming to town (right now - well, actually right now she's sitting in a plane in KC waiting to leave).
Not only do we get to hang out, we get to hang out at an 80's themed party. Yesplease.
2) Mr. Perfect is getting his wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow. This is good because I get a reason to take off from temping, his headaches will go away, and I'm counting on some drug-induced hilarity. Let's hope that hilarity doesn't include dry heaving, which I did the moment I woke up from having mine removed. Ew.
3) Surprise for Mr. Perfect on Saturday. He best be healed by then.
4) Next weekend I'm going to Seattle with Shell and Madeline. It's time for Madeline's one year checkup for her surgery. It seems like so much longer than one year...
I can't wait to see Miss Maddie.
She is not a baby anymore.
--sigh--
Just the other day, she left me a voicemail saying, "I love you Air-win!"
5) Nov. 20th. The final weigh in for Stupidest Loser. I would say we will find out who wins, but we all know it's, The Stupidest Loser: Where There Are No Winners.
6) The weekend after Seattle, Mr. Perfect and I will head to KC for the entire week of Thanksgiving!
I am in serious need of niece/nephew time. No joke. At brunch on Sunday, I was so desperate to hold the baby next to us that I think Josh thought he was going to have to restrain me.
Also dying to see the rest of the family, Carm & Soph, M&M - my favorite tropical storms (and N&M's new place!), Erin & Nick + Tab & J&M, Goodie, Heather & Dave & AMELIA, KC & JoJo, Shea!Carly!, T. Hart, and many more.
A lot to look forward to - a lot of travel, but most important - a LOT of people I love.
Oh Yeah, That Happened
Yes. He's a captain. But only because I promoted him by being able to get the 4th pin un-stuck so he could pin it on.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Stupidest Loser - Weigh In 3
That's right. Josh.
Just tonight Josh mentioned something losing 6-7lbs to get to 165.
Uh, you mean 2 pounds?
His reaction, "Damnit!!"
So Mr. Perfect and I both stayed the same weight. Surprising considering the amount of working out I did last Sunday. Great for Mr. Perfect - he was traveling for work part of last week at a nice resort with tons of fabulous meals.
Mac and Cheese and Chili Are Yes
Lemmonex is one of my favorite food bloggers. She has a great way of relating things happening in her life (family upset at blog content) to recipes and food she has made (pumpkin turkey chili).
Sounds strange (her writing and the pumpkin turkey chili), but Trust.
It's brilliant (both).
Yesterday, while everyone in the house was glued to the TV for a day of NFL, I took the opportunity to cook up some fall comfort food recipes I wanted to try.
First up, Lemmonex's Pumpkin Turkey Chili:
Pumpkin Turkey Chili
Adapted slightly from Serious Eats
1 tablespoon oil, I used olive
1 cup chopped onion
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 (4 ounce) can chopped green chiles
3 large cloves garlic, minced
1 pound ground turkey (or a package, doesn’t have to be exact)
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 (14.5 ounce) can red kidney beans
2 cups (1 14.5 ounce can) pumpkin puree
1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 tablespoon cumin
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Cayenne pepper to taste (at least 3 good shakes)
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
1. Heat oil in a large skillet or Dutch oven over medium-high heat.
2. Saute the onion, green bell pepper, green chiles, and garlic until tender, about 10 minutes. Make room in the center of the skillet, add turkey, and brown, about 10 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, beans, and pumpkin. Season with chili powder, cumin, pepper, salt, and cayenne.
3. Reduce heat and simmer at least 20 minutes. Stir in fresh cilantro. If preferred, serve topped with Cheddar cheese and sour cream.
My changes: My chili seemed a bit dry, so I grabbed a can of whole tomatoes, roughly chopped them, and threw them in along with all of their juice. The end consistency was perfect.
I also added a bunch of red pepper flakes to heat the chili up. I would certainly do this again as well. That said, I remember getting out the cayenne - and I know I used it in the Mac & Cheese - but I don't remember using it in the chili.... hmmm... proceed with caution, taste as you go, add as needed.
I didn't measure out the pumpkin, just dumped in the entire can. At first, the pumpkin smell was so strong I honestly got a little worried about what the end result would be - but you really couldn't taste it. I think it made the chili a lot smoother and richer.
I thought the cilantro was a brilliant touch and loved it.
In my opinion, this was a total home run. Cheap, easy, healthy and very tasty.
After I got the chili started, I moved on to Smitten Kitchen's adaptation of Martha Stewart's Macaroni and Cheese.
Recipe credits get very complicated on the internets, as they are passed and modified from blog to blog.
This recipe is kinda long for Mac & Cheese, but let's be honest. The only Mac & Cheese I've ever made either came out of a box, or consisted of Velveeta with a splash of milk.
I took time to prep everything for this recipe, including measuring all my spices into a small bowl ahead of time. I was a bit concerned that moving between the chili and mac & cheese might get dangerous. My prep work paid off, and the Mac & Cheese was great!
Smitten Kitchen's take on Martha's Mac:
Martha Stewart’s Creamy Mac-and-Cheese
Adapted from Martha Stewart Living Cookbook: The Original Classics
Now, please be warned, this makes a ton-a mac-and-cheese. Not interested in going on an all-mac, all-the-time diet this week, but wishing to try the recipe at last, I halved it and guess what? We still had three dinner’s worth of mac-and-cheese, or a full six servings. Which is, of course, what the recipe said it would make if halved, but I was in denial.
This is particularly delicious with a big, crunchy salad and a steamed vegetable, like green beans or broccoli.
Serves 12
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, plus more for casserole
6 slices white bread, crusts removed, torn into 1/4- to l/2-inch pieces
5 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons coarse salt, plus more for water
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
4 1/2 cups (about 18 ounces) grated sharp white cheddar cheese
2 cups (about 8 ounces) grated Gruyère or 1 1/4 cups (about 5 ounces) grated Pecorino Romano cheese
1 pound elbow macaroni
1. Preheat oven to 375°F. Butter a 3-quart casserole dish; set aside. Place the bread in a medium bowl. In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt 2 tablespoons butter. Pour the melted butter into the bowl with the bread, and toss. Set the breadcrumbs aside.
2. Warm the milk in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Melt the remaining 6 tablespoons butter in a high-sided skillet over medium heat. When the butter bubbles, add the flour. Cook, stirring, 1 minute.
3. While whisking, slowly pour in the hot milk a little at a time to keep mixture smooth. Continue cooking, whisking constantly, until the mixture bubbles and becomes thick, 8 to 12 minutes.
4. Remove the pan from the heat. Stir in salt, nutmeg, black pepper, cayenne pepper, 3 cups cheddar cheese, and 1 1/2 cups Gruyère (or 1 cup Pecorino Romano); set the cheese sauce aside.
5. Cover a large pot of salted water, and bring to a boil. Cook the macaroni until the outside of pasta is cooked and the inside is underdone, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer the macaroni to a colander, rinse under cold running water, and drain well. Stir the macaroni into the reserved cheese sauce.
6. Pour the mixture into the prepared dish. Sprinkle the remaining 1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup Gruyère (or 1/4 cup Pecorino Romano), and the breadcrumbs over the top. Bake until golden brown, about 30 minutes (though we needed a bit more time to get it brown, but your oven may vary). Transfer the dish to a wire rack for 5 minutes; serve.
My changes: I took Smitten's word on the quantity of this dish - and she was right. I halved it as well. Five adults ate decent portions, and some had seconds. We had a little bit leftover.
Halving the recipe was easy, except when it came to the spices. It's not exactly an exact thing to dole out an 1/8 of a teaspoon of anything. I did more like 1/4 teaspoon, then added more cayenne for a bit of a kick. A baby kick really.
I used Gruyere and a cheaper 8 oz block of sharp white cheddar. I ended up using pretty much the entire block of the cheddar. The Gruyere gave the perfect bite to the cheese.
We had wheat bread, so that's what I used for the breadcrumbs. Happy accident - I cut the bread into pieces on the cutting board I used to chop the garlic for the chili. The result? Awesome garlic croutons. Bob Ross would be so proud.
Oh, and speaking of the breadcrumbs, you don't need that much butter and I just melted it in the microwave.
I didn't tinker with this recipe much. I did use a garlic sea salt grinder we have to add a bit more garlic. Next time I'll probably throw in a clove or two.
I.
Love.
Garlic.
Also, Mom always made Mac & Cheese with sauteed onions, so I prefer it that way. Next time.
Only other suggestion - I realized as Mr. Perfect poured the Mac & Cheese into the baking dish (yeah, I pulled a muscle or something in my back walking to the grocery store. annoying. still cooked.) that it would have been better to go with a shallow dish to get more breadcrumbs per serving.
Mr. Perfect made mini corn muffins. We are now converts to the mini corn muffin. So much better than corn bread - each bite has a little crunchy outside. Yum. Jiffy is the way to go.
Sounds strange (her writing and the pumpkin turkey chili), but Trust.
It's brilliant (both).
Yesterday, while everyone in the house was glued to the TV for a day of NFL, I took the opportunity to cook up some fall comfort food recipes I wanted to try.
First up, Lemmonex's Pumpkin Turkey Chili:
Pumpkin Turkey Chili
Adapted slightly from Serious Eats
1 tablespoon oil, I used olive
1 cup chopped onion
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 (4 ounce) can chopped green chiles
3 large cloves garlic, minced
1 pound ground turkey (or a package, doesn’t have to be exact)
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 (14.5 ounce) can red kidney beans
2 cups (1 14.5 ounce can) pumpkin puree
1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 tablespoon cumin
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Cayenne pepper to taste (at least 3 good shakes)
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
1. Heat oil in a large skillet or Dutch oven over medium-high heat.
2. Saute the onion, green bell pepper, green chiles, and garlic until tender, about 10 minutes. Make room in the center of the skillet, add turkey, and brown, about 10 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, beans, and pumpkin. Season with chili powder, cumin, pepper, salt, and cayenne.
3. Reduce heat and simmer at least 20 minutes. Stir in fresh cilantro. If preferred, serve topped with Cheddar cheese and sour cream.
My changes: My chili seemed a bit dry, so I grabbed a can of whole tomatoes, roughly chopped them, and threw them in along with all of their juice. The end consistency was perfect.
I also added a bunch of red pepper flakes to heat the chili up. I would certainly do this again as well. That said, I remember getting out the cayenne - and I know I used it in the Mac & Cheese - but I don't remember using it in the chili.... hmmm... proceed with caution, taste as you go, add as needed.
I didn't measure out the pumpkin, just dumped in the entire can. At first, the pumpkin smell was so strong I honestly got a little worried about what the end result would be - but you really couldn't taste it. I think it made the chili a lot smoother and richer.
I thought the cilantro was a brilliant touch and loved it.
In my opinion, this was a total home run. Cheap, easy, healthy and very tasty.
After I got the chili started, I moved on to Smitten Kitchen's adaptation of Martha Stewart's Macaroni and Cheese.
Recipe credits get very complicated on the internets, as they are passed and modified from blog to blog.
This recipe is kinda long for Mac & Cheese, but let's be honest. The only Mac & Cheese I've ever made either came out of a box, or consisted of Velveeta with a splash of milk.
I took time to prep everything for this recipe, including measuring all my spices into a small bowl ahead of time. I was a bit concerned that moving between the chili and mac & cheese might get dangerous. My prep work paid off, and the Mac & Cheese was great!
Smitten Kitchen's take on Martha's Mac:
Martha Stewart’s Creamy Mac-and-Cheese
Adapted from Martha Stewart Living Cookbook: The Original Classics
Now, please be warned, this makes a ton-a mac-and-cheese. Not interested in going on an all-mac, all-the-time diet this week, but wishing to try the recipe at last, I halved it and guess what? We still had three dinner’s worth of mac-and-cheese, or a full six servings. Which is, of course, what the recipe said it would make if halved, but I was in denial.
This is particularly delicious with a big, crunchy salad and a steamed vegetable, like green beans or broccoli.
Serves 12
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, plus more for casserole
6 slices white bread, crusts removed, torn into 1/4- to l/2-inch pieces
5 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons coarse salt, plus more for water
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
4 1/2 cups (about 18 ounces) grated sharp white cheddar cheese
2 cups (about 8 ounces) grated Gruyère or 1 1/4 cups (about 5 ounces) grated Pecorino Romano cheese
1 pound elbow macaroni
1. Preheat oven to 375°F. Butter a 3-quart casserole dish; set aside. Place the bread in a medium bowl. In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt 2 tablespoons butter. Pour the melted butter into the bowl with the bread, and toss. Set the breadcrumbs aside.
2. Warm the milk in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Melt the remaining 6 tablespoons butter in a high-sided skillet over medium heat. When the butter bubbles, add the flour. Cook, stirring, 1 minute.
3. While whisking, slowly pour in the hot milk a little at a time to keep mixture smooth. Continue cooking, whisking constantly, until the mixture bubbles and becomes thick, 8 to 12 minutes.
4. Remove the pan from the heat. Stir in salt, nutmeg, black pepper, cayenne pepper, 3 cups cheddar cheese, and 1 1/2 cups Gruyère (or 1 cup Pecorino Romano); set the cheese sauce aside.
5. Cover a large pot of salted water, and bring to a boil. Cook the macaroni until the outside of pasta is cooked and the inside is underdone, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer the macaroni to a colander, rinse under cold running water, and drain well. Stir the macaroni into the reserved cheese sauce.
6. Pour the mixture into the prepared dish. Sprinkle the remaining 1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup Gruyère (or 1/4 cup Pecorino Romano), and the breadcrumbs over the top. Bake until golden brown, about 30 minutes (though we needed a bit more time to get it brown, but your oven may vary). Transfer the dish to a wire rack for 5 minutes; serve.
My changes: I took Smitten's word on the quantity of this dish - and she was right. I halved it as well. Five adults ate decent portions, and some had seconds. We had a little bit leftover.
Halving the recipe was easy, except when it came to the spices. It's not exactly an exact thing to dole out an 1/8 of a teaspoon of anything. I did more like 1/4 teaspoon, then added more cayenne for a bit of a kick. A baby kick really.
I used Gruyere and a cheaper 8 oz block of sharp white cheddar. I ended up using pretty much the entire block of the cheddar. The Gruyere gave the perfect bite to the cheese.
We had wheat bread, so that's what I used for the breadcrumbs. Happy accident - I cut the bread into pieces on the cutting board I used to chop the garlic for the chili. The result? Awesome garlic croutons. Bob Ross would be so proud.
Oh, and speaking of the breadcrumbs, you don't need that much butter and I just melted it in the microwave.
I didn't tinker with this recipe much. I did use a garlic sea salt grinder we have to add a bit more garlic. Next time I'll probably throw in a clove or two.
I.
Love.
Garlic.
Also, Mom always made Mac & Cheese with sauteed onions, so I prefer it that way. Next time.
Only other suggestion - I realized as Mr. Perfect poured the Mac & Cheese into the baking dish (yeah, I pulled a muscle or something in my back walking to the grocery store. annoying. still cooked.) that it would have been better to go with a shallow dish to get more breadcrumbs per serving.
Mr. Perfect made mini corn muffins. We are now converts to the mini corn muffin. So much better than corn bread - each bite has a little crunchy outside. Yum. Jiffy is the way to go.
I got lazy/hungry and put the broiler on the Mac & Cheese.
And forgot.
I promise it wasn't as burn-y as it looks here.
It was a delicious meal and perfect for a chilly fall football-filled day.
Only downside?
Mr. Perfect loved it so much he now wants to know if I'm going to be cooking more often.
Update: check out this awesome comment on Smitten's blog. Wow.
Nerd Alert
When I read this e-mail from K-diddy on my phone the other day, I had no clue what he was talking about. It wasn't until I opened it up on my computer I could see the image, not a ton of jumbled up g's. I've included a screen shot of the spam so you get the full effect, not just gg ggggg ggggg.
I'm sure this might be interesting/exciting to someone out there.
Enjoy.
from K-diddy
to Erin
date Sat, Oct 31, 2009 at 10:56 PM
subject Fwd: in heaven
ZOMG, An all new spam method - using a really small font to create readable ascii art. This could be very hard for google and others to block... You can break the news on your blog and be teh famous.
Happy Halloween!
-k
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
Date: 2009/10/31
Subject: in heaven
To:
Shall the wellborn soul accept
I'm sure this might be interesting/exciting to someone out there.
Enjoy.
from K-diddy
to Erin
date Sat, Oct 31, 2009 at 10:56 PM
subject Fwd: in heaven
ZOMG, An all new spam method - using a really small font to create readable ascii art. This could be very hard for google and others to block... You can break the news on your blog and be teh famous.
Happy Halloween!
-k
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
Date: 2009/10/31
Subject: in heaven
To:
Shall the wellborn soul accept
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Truth
Thanks to Shane for the inspiration (and by inspiration I mean telling me exactly how I should do it and sending me a link to Spreadshirt).
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