Josh's reply was basically, what the hell are you singing.
Mr. Perfect and I were beyond shocked to find out that Josh had never heard Peaches! Or Lump or any songs by The Presidents of the United States of America.
Josh tried to claim that he was too busy being cool to listen to "that sort of music." And while I commend Josh for being so cool, I also call bullshit. Their songs were popular enough to be parodied by Weird Al (ugh, who knew I'd use Weird Al in my defense) and Lump made it on Rock Band 2 and Band Hero.
A week or so later, I found a blog devoted to bringing joy to the world via new verses of The Diarrhea Song (oddly enough the classics about sliding into first and third didn't make the blog). The Diarrhea Songs is just... it's just a part of childhood. And, if you're me, adulthood/G-chat status. I will never get over the genius that is, "when you're sliding into third and you feel a little turd - diarrhea."
I think one thing this world is missing is a dramatic reading of the Diarrhea Song. Internets, MAKE IT HAPPEN!
The Diarrhea Song is so pervasive. Everyone knows it, right?
No.
Not Josh.
He had never heard it before!!!
This is the point where you shed a small tear for Josh's childhood. Then you stay up for the next hour singing him all the verses from the Diarrhea Song blog, in addition to making up some horrible verses of your own.
What 10 year old didn't sing about ridin' in the Chevy and feeling a little heavy?
--sigh--
Josh's lack of exposure to popular culture made me sad at first. But then the rage came.
Rage that any of my friends would not be familiar with the very special episode that deals with Jessie Spano's pill addiction.
I mean.
Really.
Mr. Perfect wears his "I'm so excited, I'm so scared" shirt all the time! (so what if I couldn't find it last night...)
[ Sidenote: I was doing some research, brought on by a friend mentioning that Jessie even references her "drug addiction" in the other very special episode about drug use - "No Hope With Dope," starring Johnny Dakota. In my research {thank you temp job} I found episode listings. And holy teenage angst, Season 3 was fucking intense. Seriously. It starts with Kelly dumping Zack {whore} for her boss at the Max, Jeff; next episode = major breakup drama. Then Mr. Belding causes Zack to tear his knee out and need surgery. No biggie, except Zack is totally obsessed with death the entire episode. Cue stupid Screech episode, then Zack starts dating a college girl and sneaks into a club {ha} with a fake ID. Bad Zack. Then dra-ma when ducks and shit start dying after the gang finds oil on school property. Oil spills. Sad. Jessie's evil stepbro wrecks Beldin's car and the gang is totally screwed. Blar blar blar No Hope With Dope {damn you Johnny Dakota!!}. And let's {basically} wrap up the season with Zack falling for homeless girl. Fucking depressing. We should note that in one season, Zack does date Kelly, homeless girl, wrestling girl, Kelly again for just a second {part of the blar blar fast forward} and the college chick. Nice work, Zack. Even with Zack's shenanigans, Season 3 was still epically depressing.
All that research about SBTB made me think of California Dreams (don't wake me up if I'm dreaming...) and City Guys (C-i-t-y you can see why, these guys, city guys). Which led me to this, the best review of City Guys. Ever. Seriously. You might pee a little. From IMDB:
Commenter, I give you a ten out of ten. ]City Guys would have to be the best and coolist teen show I have ever seen.
It is also the best programme I have seen all year in New Zealand. I feel the
show is so underated and it doesnt get the credit it deserves. The show is so
funny and entertaining, it also deals with everyday teen issues such as peer
pressure and drug abuse. The show has a great cast Wesley Jonothan, Dion Basco,
Caitlin Mowrey, Marissa Dyan and Scott Whyte.I give this show a ten out of ten.
After the shocking Saved By the Bell revelation, I really thought there were no more surprises Josh could spring at me.
WRONG.
Last night we were chit-chatting about Halloween costumes. I told him I was considering being one of the Robert Palmer (note: I can't say Arnold Palmer or Robert Palmer. It runs together in this really odd way) girls from the Addicted to Love music video.
Most obvious revelation ever: Josh has never seen the video.
I was totally convinced that he just didn't remember the video, and frantically pulled it up on YouTube.
Nope.
Nothing.
This one he tried to blame on:
1) being too young
NO JOSH! You're older than me!
2) not having cable
True story - we had 3-4 channels on the farm, depending on the day.
Fail Josh, just fail.
As I was compiling my list of Shit Josh Doesn't Know, I asked Josh and Mr. Perfect for input. I knew I was forgetting something.
Josh's brilliant reply: "There's so much stuff I don't know, how would I know what I don't know if I don't know it?'
What were you shocked to find out your friends didn't know?
Or even better, what have you been shocked to find out you didn't know you didn't know?
In fairness to Josh, I will share my Pop Culture Confessions: I don't know any New Kids songs, didn't have a crush on one of the boys and really don't remember them from my childhood. I don't know the all words to Ice Ice Baby, but I can sing you a shit load of Queen and David Allen Coe and I had most of Doggystyle memorized by 7th grade (Lodi Dodi is my favorite. I think Mom found and freaked out, rightly so, about that CD {the CD lining had cartoon dog sex all over it, not to mention the name of the album and content} But... she didn't take it away!) I never watched 90210. I did, however, watch Sex and the City starting with Season 1, which was totally inappropriate given my age (14?). And actually didn't stop watching until I went to college (lack of HBO).
Keyword search of the day: rabbit dogs
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