Josh's reply was basically, what the hell are you singing.
Mr. Perfect and I were beyond shocked to find out that Josh had never heard Peaches! Or Lump or any songs by The Presidents of the United States of America.
Josh tried to claim that he was too busy being cool to listen to "that sort of music." And while I commend Josh for being so cool, I also call bullshit. Their songs were popular enough to be parodied by Weird Al (ugh, who knew I'd use Weird Al in my defense) and Lump made it on Rock Band 2 and Band Hero.
A week or so later, I found a blog devoted to bringing joy to the world via new verses of The Diarrhea Song (oddly enough the classics about sliding into first and third didn't make the blog). The Diarrhea Songs is just... it's just a part of childhood. And, if you're me, adulthood/G-chat status. I will never get over the genius that is, "when you're sliding into third and you feel a little turd - diarrhea."
I think one thing this world is missing is a dramatic reading of the Diarrhea Song. Internets, MAKE IT HAPPEN!
The Diarrhea Song is so pervasive. Everyone knows it, right?
No.
Not Josh.
He had never heard it before!!!
This is the point where you shed a small tear for Josh's childhood. Then you stay up for the next hour singing him all the verses from the Diarrhea Song blog, in addition to making up some horrible verses of your own.
What 10 year old didn't sing about ridin' in the Chevy and feeling a little heavy?
--sigh--
Josh's lack of exposure to popular culture made me sad at first. But then the rage came.
Rage that any of my friends would not be familiar with the very special episode that deals with Jessie Spano's pill addiction.
I mean.
Really.
Mr. Perfect wears his "I'm so excited, I'm so scared" shirt all the time! (so what if I couldn't find it last night...)
[ Sidenote: I was doing some research, brought on by a friend mentioning that Jessie even references her "drug addiction" in the other very special episode about drug use - "No Hope With Dope," starring Johnny Dakota. In my research {thank you temp job} I found episode listings. And holy teenage angst, Season 3 was fucking intense. Seriously. It starts with Kelly dumping Zack {whore} for her boss at the Max, Jeff; next episode = major breakup drama. Then Mr. Belding causes Zack to tear his knee out and need surgery. No biggie, except Zack is totally obsessed with death the entire episode. Cue stupid Screech episode, then Zack starts dating a college girl and sneaks into a club {ha} with a fake ID. Bad Zack. Then dra-ma when ducks and shit start dying after the gang finds oil on school property. Oil spills. Sad. Jessie's evil stepbro wrecks Beldin's car and the gang is totally screwed. Blar blar blar No Hope With Dope {damn you Johnny Dakota!!}. And let's {basically} wrap up the season with Zack falling for homeless girl. Fucking depressing. We should note that in one season, Zack does date Kelly, homeless girl, wrestling girl, Kelly again for just a second {part of the blar blar fast forward} and the college chick. Nice work, Zack. Even with Zack's shenanigans, Season 3 was still epically depressing.
All that research about SBTB made me think of California Dreams (don't wake me up if I'm dreaming...) and City Guys (C-i-t-y you can see why, these guys, city guys). Which led me to this, the best review of City Guys. Ever. Seriously. You might pee a little. From IMDB:
Commenter, I give you a ten out of ten. ]City Guys would have to be the best and coolist teen show I have ever seen.
It is also the best programme I have seen all year in New Zealand. I feel the
show is so underated and it doesnt get the credit it deserves. The show is so
funny and entertaining, it also deals with everyday teen issues such as peer
pressure and drug abuse. The show has a great cast Wesley Jonothan, Dion Basco,
Caitlin Mowrey, Marissa Dyan and Scott Whyte.I give this show a ten out of ten.
After the shocking Saved By the Bell revelation, I really thought there were no more surprises Josh could spring at me.
WRONG.
Last night we were chit-chatting about Halloween costumes. I told him I was considering being one of the Robert Palmer (note: I can't say Arnold Palmer or Robert Palmer. It runs together in this really odd way) girls from the Addicted to Love music video.
Most obvious revelation ever: Josh has never seen the video.
I was totally convinced that he just didn't remember the video, and frantically pulled it up on YouTube.
Nope.
Nothing.
This one he tried to blame on:
1) being too young
NO JOSH! You're older than me!
2) not having cable
True story - we had 3-4 channels on the farm, depending on the day.
Fail Josh, just fail.
As I was compiling my list of Shit Josh Doesn't Know, I asked Josh and Mr. Perfect for input. I knew I was forgetting something.
Josh's brilliant reply: "There's so much stuff I don't know, how would I know what I don't know if I don't know it?'
What were you shocked to find out your friends didn't know?
Or even better, what have you been shocked to find out you didn't know you didn't know?
In fairness to Josh, I will share my Pop Culture Confessions: I don't know any New Kids songs, didn't have a crush on one of the boys and really don't remember them from my childhood. I don't know the all words to Ice Ice Baby, but I can sing you a shit load of Queen and David Allen Coe and I had most of Doggystyle memorized by 7th grade (Lodi Dodi is my favorite. I think Mom found and freaked out, rightly so, about that CD {the CD lining had cartoon dog sex all over it, not to mention the name of the album and content} But... she didn't take it away!) I never watched 90210. I did, however, watch Sex and the City starting with Season 1, which was totally inappropriate given my age (14?). And actually didn't stop watching until I went to college (lack of HBO).
Keyword search of the day: rabbit dogs
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12 comments:
Notes on sidenote:
The research you did was brought on by ME mentioning the Johnny Dakota episode.
Kelly's new BF Jeff is also in college, and the episode where Zack and the boys sneak into The Attic also includes making fake IDs ON SCHOOL GROUNDS, and finding college BF Jeff making out with a girl who is NOT KELLY! CHEATER!
Since my wife is quite a bit younger than me I am constantly amazed by things she doesn't know. This is only partly related but we were watching something on TV and I thought the story was just like The Great Gatsby so I said it's Gatsby. We started talking about The Great Gatsby and F. Scott Fitzgerald and Stella said "he wrote that too? He was a talented guy to write that and the Star Spangled Banner".
I immediately started laughing and told her she was confused with Francis Scott Key. She then said she thought a little less of Benjamin Button because she thought Revolutionary War period Key wrote the futuristic short story "Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (or whatever the short story was called).
I have laughed about this for over a month.
Leo grew up with a television locked in a cabinet in the basement. After he figured out where his parents hid the key, he had to sneak down to watch videos that he bought black market style from a kid at school who would record movies for him, and then sold to Leo for $5 each. Or $10. I can't remember.
He does not know The Cosby Show.
He does not know Who's the Boss?.
He does not know Family Ties.
Dude doesn't even get references to Gilligan's fucking Island.
He's never seen an original video playing on MTV.
His parents were EVIL, I tell you!
Anyway, I was just wondering if maybe Josh grew up under a similar rock as Leo? Maybe? Is he from South Bend, and are his parents members of a random Catholic cult there? Because if so, maybe they know Leo's parents.
And now Lump is stuck in my head. Gracias. :P
On a recent road trip (to KC, MO of all places) :) I discovered that my husband (he's 33, I'm older) doesn't know who ABBA is!!!! I spent the next 60 miles singing Dancing Queen at the top of my lungs. He is also not too aware of Debbie Gibson or Tiffany, but I forgive him for those.
Mr. Perfect - correct on all counts.
Bull - you shouldn't tell people that story.
Faith - that is so crazy! And SO much work! ugh. No, Josh's family was normal. I think he was just busy skateboarding. Also, Peaches was stuck in my head after writing that. We were in pain together.
Monica - How is that possible!? So funny. You should make him watch Mama Mia to get massive exposure in one hit.
Regarding a dramatic reading of the Diarrhea song, I think the Chappelle Show covered it by having a church choir sing it.
Chimpo- while that is great to hear, I still think a dramatic reading would be fabulous.
Nick has never seen The Goonies or any of the Indiana Jones movies. Those were classics in my house. Also have a friend who was homeschooled who has seen zero of the classic 80's movies. Breakfast Club, 16 Candles, etc, etc.
Funny thing though, I was just thinking of your last SBTB post yesterday and wondering just how many times you would find a reason to show your Jessie meltdown clip? Amazing that you found another! Pretty sure I've never referenced that show in my life. :)
ERIN! You're doing it wrong. I suggest trying some TIME OUTs! during the day, Zack Morris style.
And there are so many reasons to show Jessie's meltdown. That's at least like, the 4th time I've put it on my blog?
We would probably reference I'm so excited, I'm so scared more often, but "Shelby! Drink your juice!" has taken its place in daily life.
I am shocked at Nick never seeing the Goonies. I own it. We just watched it as a family the other day. Heeeeey yooouuuu guuuuys!!!
Erin, you have to get him the Indian Jones movies for Christmas. You know he'll love them too! That's the crazy part, Nick would love all those movies!
Sad.
Gfry to the defense - Josh definitely knows all the words to both The Goonies and all three Indiana Jones movies (we aren't counting the latest installment for obvious reasons, reasons being it Sucks Major Ass). It's just those random pop culture things he somehow completely missed. But seriously, Addicted to Love? Sheesh...
Josh knows so much about pop culture that it's shocking that these nuggets have slipped by. I'm quite sure that moving forward we'll be discovering more Shit That Erin Doesn't Know than anything else.
When you walk under a ladder, and you hear a little splatter . . .
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