I spent yesterday in Bentonville, Ark., home of Wal-Mart.
We had sushi for dinner.
On the menu:
Wal-Mart Roll.
What do you think the ingredients in a Wal-Mart roll are?
Mr. Perfect asked if it was cheap and huge and put all the other rolls out of business.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Burning Question
At lunch today with K-Diddy, I had the sudden need to know what the burp/vomit equivalent to a shart is (mainly because I thought he was going to burp/vomit).
I went with burpit.
Thoughts? Better ideas?
I went with burpit.
Thoughts? Better ideas?
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Kansas, a Poem
Not sure who wrote it - forwarded on from Mr. Perfect:
It's winter in Kansas
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-five below.
Oh, how I love Kansas
when the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Kansas
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground!!
It's winter in Kansas
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-five below.
Oh, how I love Kansas
when the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Kansas
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground!!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Because this is really going to stop them
"This uncomfortable undergarment will be a daily reminder to unmarried women to find a husband and a emergency moral reminder to her would-be-suitor. (For use under traditional underwear only.)"
I encourage you to waste time explore more of the craziness available on that site.
Do you love coffee more than God, you gruff goat?
Thanks, of course, K-did.
I encourage you to waste time explore more of the craziness available on that site.
Do you love coffee more than God, you gruff goat?
Thanks, of course, K-did.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
How could this joke miss?
My friend forwarded me this excellent email trail - she requested a shared calendar at work and this was the reply she got:
From IT:
First I need approval from an A-team member. I will also need to know which levels of permission every one needs (will every one be able to edit all posts, or only their own) and who needs access to the calendar.
Thanks.
My friend wrote:
-----Original Message-----
By A-Team member, do you want Mr. T or George Peppard :)
(You'll have to let me know who comprises the A-team)
Also, we'll all want full access to read, write, and delete.
His reply:
Subject: RE: Status Update on ITS Helpdesk Ticket
I don't see George Peppard on the A-Team list (if you open the A-Team distribution group from the Address Book you can see who's a member). Generally speaking, A-Team members are supervisors and managers. I don't know who you mean by Mr. T.
How can you not get that?!?!?
From IT:
First I need approval from an A-team member. I will also need to know which levels of permission every one needs (will every one be able to edit all posts, or only their own) and who needs access to the calendar.
Thanks.
My friend wrote:
-----Original Message-----
By A-Team member, do you want Mr. T or George Peppard :)
(You'll have to let me know who comprises the A-team)
Also, we'll all want full access to read, write, and delete.
His reply:
Subject: RE: Status Update on ITS Helpdesk Ticket
I don't see George Peppard on the A-Team list (if you open the A-Team distribution group from the Address Book you can see who's a member). Generally speaking, A-Team members are supervisors and managers. I don't know who you mean by Mr. T.
How can you not get that?!?!?
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I <3 Robots
When Mr. Perfect was in town we went over to Shell's for some breakfast with the ladies. They were so much fun we ended up hanging out there for a few hours.
We were doing, you know, normal stuff, like Caroline making turkey bacon mustaches.
And this is when one of the funniest things, oh, ever, happened. One moment the girls were hanging out in the chair, making funny faces with Mr. Perfect, being cute and funny.
And the next moment... wow. They took the cuteness to a whole 'nother level.
I asked the girls if they wanted to call GDSean, they shouted an excited yeaahhhhh!!! When his voicemail went off, they were suddenly transformed. Into robots. With little tiny girl robot voices.
Caroline: SEAN. WE ARE ROBOTS.
Mush: WE ARE ROBOTS.
Caroline: WE ARE ROBOTS. REAL ROBOTS. NOT FAKE ROBOTS.
Mush: REAL ROBOTS. WE ARE ROBOTS.
Caroline & Mush: WE ARE ROBOTS. SEAN. WE ARE ROBOTS. NOT FAKE ROBOTS.
Caroline: OUR MOM IS A ROBOT. OUR FAMILY IS ROBOTS. REAL ROBOTS.
- At this point I'm a little past the shock that they were transformed into robots in front of my eyes, and I'm fighting laughter. -
Me: (whispering) Tell Sean you miss him.
Mush: SHE MISSES HIM.
Me: (laughing and whispering) Tell Megan hi!
Caroline: MEGAN, WE ARE ROBOTS. NOT FAKE ROBOTS.
Mush: OUR FAMILY IS ROBOTS. WE ARE REAL ROBOTS.
I love those crazy girls.
We were doing, you know, normal stuff, like Caroline making turkey bacon mustaches.
And this is when one of the funniest things, oh, ever, happened. One moment the girls were hanging out in the chair, making funny faces with Mr. Perfect, being cute and funny.
And the next moment... wow. They took the cuteness to a whole 'nother level.
I asked the girls if they wanted to call GDSean, they shouted an excited yeaahhhhh!!! When his voicemail went off, they were suddenly transformed. Into robots. With little tiny girl robot voices.
Caroline: SEAN. WE ARE ROBOTS.
Mush: WE ARE ROBOTS.
Caroline: WE ARE ROBOTS. REAL ROBOTS. NOT FAKE ROBOTS.
Mush: REAL ROBOTS. WE ARE ROBOTS.
Caroline & Mush: WE ARE ROBOTS. SEAN. WE ARE ROBOTS. NOT FAKE ROBOTS.
Caroline: OUR MOM IS A ROBOT. OUR FAMILY IS ROBOTS. REAL ROBOTS.
- At this point I'm a little past the shock that they were transformed into robots in front of my eyes, and I'm fighting laughter. -
Me: (whispering) Tell Sean you miss him.
Mush: SHE MISSES HIM.
Me: (laughing and whispering) Tell Megan hi!
Caroline: MEGAN, WE ARE ROBOTS. NOT FAKE ROBOTS.
Mush: OUR FAMILY IS ROBOTS. WE ARE REAL ROBOTS.
I love those crazy girls.
Introducing Mr. Perfect to Cheesy Corn Bake
He clearly enjoyed the amazingness we KCers call Cheesy Corn Bake. How could you not? I mean seriously, corn + pounds of butter + what must be Velveta (I don't believe the recipes) + chunks of meat = manna
He's drinking it. It's so disgusting.
And cute. Dang.
Mmmmm... Jaaaack.....Staaaaack.....
He's drinking it. It's so disgusting.
And cute. Dang.
Mmmmm... Jaaaack.....Staaaaack.....
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Angry Birthday! Happy Birthday!
I walked into Maureen's birthday party today and was greeted with this awesomeness -
Costume madness. Love it.
When it was cake time and we started singing, Mushie got MAD! STOP SINGING!
So we started singing Angry Birthday to you...
But then she decided it would be a happy birthday after all. 
So we sang Happy Birthday!
What a cutie pie.
Costume madness. Love it.When it was cake time and we started singing, Mushie got MAD! STOP SINGING!
So we started singing Angry Birthday to you...
But then she decided it would be a happy birthday after all. 
So we sang Happy Birthday!
What a cutie pie.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valetine's Day at Work. You know it's gonna be awkward.
At lunch today with my boss we were discussing with the waiter how busy he was going to be today. He said, "Yeah, I figure lunch is for mistresses and dinner is for wives."
My reply, "We're COWORKERS. COOOOWORRRKERS!"
My reply, "We're COWORKERS. COOOOWORRRKERS!"
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Love in the Time of Facebook
My Valentine's Day gift to you - if you're in a happy relationship, a reminder how good it is. If you're not, a reminder you're not alone!
Social networking sites like Facebook have certainly changed how people interact. I think the most interesting effects of this change can be seen in relationships.
For those of you who aren't familiar with Facebook, at times it seems like more of a voyeur's tool than a networking site. Your home page is a "News Feed" chock full of updates on what your pictures your friends have uploaded, what parties they are attending, what they are doing at that very second (status updates - Erin is...), and what groups they have joined, or left. Oh, and what their relationship status is.
Relationships on Facebook are very defined.
There is a pull down menu of options:
Single
In a Relationship
Engaged
Married
It's Complicated
In an Open Relationship
And when you decide that you're going from "Single" to "It's Complicated," it will show up in the news feed of your friends.
And the Facebook wall posts, messages, e-mails, texts and phone calls will start.
I've found out about a ton of break-ups, hook-ups, engagements, and yes - a divorce - from Facebook.
Yes, it's true that you don't have to even select a relationship status, and it's also true that you can change your settings so as much or as little as you want shows up in your friend's news feeds. But most people seem to just let it all hang out there.
So suddenly there is an entirely new dimension to dating. Meeting the parents or being introduced as more than a friend is no longer the only gauge of the seriousness of a relationship. After all, how real can it be if you're not dating on Facebook? So who is going to take the first step? Who is going to change their status first? The really serious daters will even link to the person they are In a Relationship/It's Complicated/Engaged/Married/In an Open Relationship with. Who is going to request a Facebook relationship? Yeah, that's right, you can virtually have that awkward, "are we...do you want to be... am I your..." conversation.
Not sure how to bring it up? Don't worry, there's a card for that.
But wait! If it's that complicated when you start dating, what happens when you stop dating? Which one of you is going to end the relationship on Facebook (which is awesomely called "canceling the relationship" so much cleaner sounding)? If you did the real breaking up, do you get to do the virtual break up as well? Or is that the small vengeance the dumpee gets to have?
And speaking of breaking up, what do you do with all those photos you tagged of you and your sweetheart?
Well, my friends, I can tell you what I did.
Immediately after the painfully awkward break-up phone call (after all, it's me, and it's always going to be awkward) instead of laughing, (give me a break! his words were "Are you in or out? Ugh! Just forget it!" I was, apparently, out) I walked straight over to my shelf and took our picture out of a frame and straight into the trash.
Then I deleted pictures from Facebook.
He must not have been happy to see his photo count go from 150+ to 25 overnight, because I logged into Facebook to find a glorious message awaiting me.
In my news feed.
Which all of his friends, and our mutual friends, could see.
His updated status:
ExBoy is no longer dating Erin.
Nothing says class like Facebook.
Surprisingly enough, others actually have more painful stories than I.
Ok, well, that's a lie because I'm a part of this painful story as well.
When I saw one day that a friend of mine from college had uploaded photos I randomly wrote a message on his wall. A wall is on a person's profile page, a public place to leave a note.
I said hi and asked how "they" were doing. As in him and his wife.
Then I got an e-mail -
Hey Erin!
I saw that you posted on our friend's facebook board (and you asked how they were doing). Did you know that they're getting divorced??
Shit.
The plot thickened as I went on to notice that my friend's favorite book, as listed on Facebook, was something called the Cheating Wife.
And he's listed as single.
<>
Turns out I was a day late on the drama. The previous day there was a full explanation of what went down in the relationship, including details on when the divorce was filed and a note basically saying that he wanted to get it out in the open and over with.
So what does all this Facebook craziness mean?
Well, it means if you're married you're laughing and so thankful you aren't dealing with this crap.
And if you're not, and you're on Facebook then you have to figure out how much status you're comfortable sharing.
And me?
Well, the other day a friend of mine notified me that Mr. Perfect had taken it to the next level.
Yes, you read that right, one of my friends e-mailed me to let me know that my boyfriend had come out to Facebook.
He was officially In a Relationship.
I upped the ante.
And linked to Mr. Perfect.
Erin is In a Relationship with Mr. Perfect.
It's official.
Social networking sites like Facebook have certainly changed how people interact. I think the most interesting effects of this change can be seen in relationships.
For those of you who aren't familiar with Facebook, at times it seems like more of a voyeur's tool than a networking site. Your home page is a "News Feed" chock full of updates on what your pictures your friends have uploaded, what parties they are attending, what they are doing at that very second (status updates - Erin is...), and what groups they have joined, or left. Oh, and what their relationship status is.
Relationships on Facebook are very defined.
There is a pull down menu of options:
Single
In a Relationship
Engaged
Married
It's Complicated
In an Open Relationship
And when you decide that you're going from "Single" to "It's Complicated," it will show up in the news feed of your friends.
And the Facebook wall posts, messages, e-mails, texts and phone calls will start.
I've found out about a ton of break-ups, hook-ups, engagements, and yes - a divorce - from Facebook.
Yes, it's true that you don't have to even select a relationship status, and it's also true that you can change your settings so as much or as little as you want shows up in your friend's news feeds. But most people seem to just let it all hang out there.
So suddenly there is an entirely new dimension to dating. Meeting the parents or being introduced as more than a friend is no longer the only gauge of the seriousness of a relationship. After all, how real can it be if you're not dating on Facebook? So who is going to take the first step? Who is going to change their status first? The really serious daters will even link to the person they are In a Relationship/It's Complicated/Engaged/Married/In an Open Relationship with. Who is going to request a Facebook relationship? Yeah, that's right, you can virtually have that awkward, "are we...do you want to be... am I your..." conversation.
Not sure how to bring it up? Don't worry, there's a card for that.
But wait! If it's that complicated when you start dating, what happens when you stop dating? Which one of you is going to end the relationship on Facebook (which is awesomely called "canceling the relationship" so much cleaner sounding)? If you did the real breaking up, do you get to do the virtual break up as well? Or is that the small vengeance the dumpee gets to have?
And speaking of breaking up, what do you do with all those photos you tagged of you and your sweetheart?
Well, my friends, I can tell you what I did.
Immediately after the painfully awkward break-up phone call (after all, it's me, and it's always going to be awkward) instead of laughing, (give me a break! his words were "Are you in or out? Ugh! Just forget it!" I was, apparently, out) I walked straight over to my shelf and took our picture out of a frame and straight into the trash.
Then I deleted pictures from Facebook.
He must not have been happy to see his photo count go from 150+ to 25 overnight, because I logged into Facebook to find a glorious message awaiting me.
In my news feed.
Which all of his friends, and our mutual friends, could see.
His updated status:
ExBoy is no longer dating Erin.
Nothing says class like Facebook.
Surprisingly enough, others actually have more painful stories than I.
Ok, well, that's a lie because I'm a part of this painful story as well.
When I saw one day that a friend of mine from college had uploaded photos I randomly wrote a message on his wall. A wall is on a person's profile page, a public place to leave a note.
I said hi and asked how "they" were doing. As in him and his wife.
Then I got an e-mail -
Hey Erin!
I saw that you posted on our friend's facebook board (and you asked how they were doing). Did you know that they're getting divorced??
Shit.
The plot thickened as I went on to notice that my friend's favorite book, as listed on Facebook, was something called the Cheating Wife.
And he's listed as single.
<>
Turns out I was a day late on the drama. The previous day there was a full explanation of what went down in the relationship, including details on when the divorce was filed and a note basically saying that he wanted to get it out in the open and over with.
So what does all this Facebook craziness mean?
Well, it means if you're married you're laughing and so thankful you aren't dealing with this crap.
And if you're not, and you're on Facebook then you have to figure out how much status you're comfortable sharing.
And me?
Well, the other day a friend of mine notified me that Mr. Perfect had taken it to the next level.
Yes, you read that right, one of my friends e-mailed me to let me know that my boyfriend had come out to Facebook.
He was officially In a Relationship.
I upped the ante.
And linked to Mr. Perfect.
Erin is In a Relationship with Mr. Perfect.
It's official.
I win!
You don't stand a chance. It's not even Valentine's Day yet and I already won.
Not only did Mr. Perfect have flowers for me when I picked him up from the airport...
he also was responsible for this little heavenly treat that was delivered to me today...
Yup.
I win.
Not only did Mr. Perfect have flowers for me when I picked him up from the airport...
he also was responsible for this little heavenly treat that was delivered to me today...
Yup.
I win.
Ambiguously Erroneous
I used the word ambiguous at least 5 times in a 15 minute meeting today.
Happy Wednesday, Hurricane.
Happy Wednesday, Hurricane.
He's not a Gurrrll!
Erin: Maureen, did you like Mr. Perfect?
Mush: No!
Erin: Why not!??!
Mush: Because. He put on my hula hula dancer outfit and it doesn't fit him! He is a boy. Not a guuurlll. (that's how she says girl)
This is the outfit Mr. Perfect allegedly tried on.
Mush: No!
Erin: Why not!??!
Mush: Because. He put on my hula hula dancer outfit and it doesn't fit him! He is a boy. Not a guuurlll. (that's how she says girl)
This is the outfit Mr. Perfect allegedly tried on.
Erin: Caroline, did you like him?
Caroline: Nooooooooo!
Erin: Why??
Caroline: Because he stuck my finger up his nose!!
I have to side with Caroline on this one. I was actually holding her when it happened, and I think I screamed just as loudly as she did. How unappropriate.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Overheard at the Funeral
I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE!!!!
-My little cousin, very excited to see everyone.
Dad! Quit barking at the funeral!
-Shell to Dad, a necessary comment
Your mom is still living, right?
Yeah... she's right there.
You've gotta quit hitting people, Grandma!
-Dad to Gma, also necessary
I can take mine out with my tongue.
-Shell, referencing her fake teeth
I don't like him.
-Gma, after she found out Mr. Perfect's middle name is not, in fact, Fred
It was a pretty interesting funeral, my great aunt was a dog lover - there were at least 10 dogs at the funeral home.
-My little cousin, very excited to see everyone.
Dad! Quit barking at the funeral!
-Shell to Dad, a necessary comment
Your mom is still living, right?
Yeah... she's right there.
You've gotta quit hitting people, Grandma!
-Dad to Gma, also necessary
I can take mine out with my tongue.
-Shell, referencing her fake teeth
I don't like him.
-Gma, after she found out Mr. Perfect's middle name is not, in fact, Fred
It was a pretty interesting funeral, my great aunt was a dog lover - there were at least 10 dogs at the funeral home.
Things I'm not looking forward to today
Being outside at all. Ever today. For even a moment.
Going to a funeral.
Dang.
Going to a funeral.
Dang.
Monday, February 11, 2008
A picture says...
So yeah KC Crime Scene has this story up about a brother & sister in Kentucky gettin' lucky... with...
each other... ew.
And making babies (yes, plural).
But they really dropped the ball by not including the picture of the siblings. I feel like I alone shouldn't have to carry the burden of seeing these people.
So I'm inflicting it upon you as well. En...joy?
each other... ew.
And making babies (yes, plural).
But they really dropped the ball by not including the picture of the siblings. I feel like I alone shouldn't have to carry the burden of seeing these people.
So I'm inflicting it upon you as well. En...joy?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Dancing man wearing a horse mask cooks wild mushrooms.
Crap like this video is why the interwebs are rockalicious.
K-Did's favorites parts:
The music - church organ vs Mario Bros.
The suspenders/thong
The directions, with "Step #" in English, everything else in Japanese
The gas mask
The *tiny* beverage can
The statue humping
I think he forgot:
Dancing in the office chair
Dropping food through horse head nose-hole
Dancing to Thriller at the end
Umm, the ENTIRE VIDEO
I really don't even know if you want to watch this. It's bizarre. Disturbing. Kinda funny.
K-Did's favorites parts:
The music - church organ vs Mario Bros.
The suspenders/thong
The directions, with "Step #" in English, everything else in Japanese
The gas mask
The *tiny* beverage can
The statue humping
I think he forgot:
Dancing in the office chair
Dropping food through horse head nose-hole
Dancing to Thriller at the end
Umm, the ENTIRE VIDEO
I really don't even know if you want to watch this. It's bizarre. Disturbing. Kinda funny.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Friday Funday
And... why not? It's funny - thanks Melinda.
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed "DAD."
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice, even with all her piercing, tattoos and her tight motorcycle clothes.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant and Barbara assures me that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her since she is so much older than I am, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood enough for the whole winter.
She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we need.
In the meantime, we pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Barbara can get better; she sure deserves it!!
Don't worry, Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
John
P.S. Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at Billy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my center desk drawer.
I love you!
P.S.S. Call me when it is safe to come home.
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed "DAD."
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice, even with all her piercing, tattoos and her tight motorcycle clothes.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant and Barbara assures me that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her since she is so much older than I am, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood enough for the whole winter.
She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we need.
In the meantime, we pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Barbara can get better; she sure deserves it!!
Don't worry, Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
John
P.S. Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at Billy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my center desk drawer.
I love you!
P.S.S. Call me when it is safe to come home.
Grrrrrr. Bark. Woof.
Life is good.
As long as people are doing things like this, not taking everything and everyone so seriously, life is good.
As long as people are doing things like this, not taking everything and everyone so seriously, life is good.
The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie: A Guide
1) Go to grocery store. Buy chocolate chips, real butter, eggs and flour. Rest assured Hurricane has the rest taken care of.
2) Give groceries to Hurricane's roomie, the Baker.
3) Watch as the Baker measures, pours and stirs.
4) Sneak bites of dough.
5) Help put dough on cookie sheets.
6) Watch as the Baker magically removes dozens of cookies at the precisely perfect moment.
7) Eat the perfect cookie.
8) Congratulate yourself. Not for being such a good baker, but for having great friends who will do your baking for you and better than you would have done.
2) Give groceries to Hurricane's roomie, the Baker.
3) Watch as the Baker measures, pours and stirs.
4) Sneak bites of dough.
5) Help put dough on cookie sheets.
6) Watch as the Baker magically removes dozens of cookies at the precisely perfect moment.
7) Eat the perfect cookie.
8) Congratulate yourself. Not for being such a good baker, but for having great friends who will do your baking for you and better than you would have done.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Notes on an Ashy Wednesday
Best pre-church conversation:
Me: just found a noon mass
dang I'm super hungry
Bad Catholic: can you eat before you go?
me: what kind of catholic are you? no not if I'm going to get communion!
my gma yelled at me once for having pepsi before mass
water only.
BC: water only?
me: an hour before mass/taking communion you can't eat
BC: that's ridiculous it's not swimming
you're not going to get communion cramps
I think communion cramps is my new favorite phrase.
There wasn't any music at church, which led to some shockingly horrible singing by everyone there.
It was so bad the priest actually said something about it between verses and everyone in church laughed.
It was so bad that it was actually kinda beautiful in this awesome, "we all suck but we're still going to go for it" kind of way.
I loved watching the two young servers get their ashes - they were trying not to giggle as they checked out each others ash. It immediately took me back to grade school - we would always run straight to the bathroom after mass and compare ash. Everyone always wanted the biggest and darkest ash.
My ash is kinda offset due to my side-swept bangs. It looks kinda strange. But it's ok.
Best conversation leaving church: Man, still in church, seconds after mass has ended, already on his cell phone, talking loudly with exasperation in his voice - "Yeah, I'm leaving church. It's Ash Wednesday. You know, one of those Catholic things you have to do."
I'll keep you updated on any dumb-ash comments I get today.
Me: just found a noon mass
dang I'm super hungry
Bad Catholic: can you eat before you go?
me: what kind of catholic are you? no not if I'm going to get communion!
my gma yelled at me once for having pepsi before mass
water only.
BC: water only?
me: an hour before mass/taking communion you can't eat
BC: that's ridiculous it's not swimming
you're not going to get communion cramps
I think communion cramps is my new favorite phrase.
------------------------
There wasn't any music at church, which led to some shockingly horrible singing by everyone there.
It was so bad the priest actually said something about it between verses and everyone in church laughed.
It was so bad that it was actually kinda beautiful in this awesome, "we all suck but we're still going to go for it" kind of way.
------------------------
I loved watching the two young servers get their ashes - they were trying not to giggle as they checked out each others ash. It immediately took me back to grade school - we would always run straight to the bathroom after mass and compare ash. Everyone always wanted the biggest and darkest ash.
My ash is kinda offset due to my side-swept bangs. It looks kinda strange. But it's ok.
------------------------
Best conversation leaving church: Man, still in church, seconds after mass has ended, already on his cell phone, talking loudly with exasperation in his voice - "Yeah, I'm leaving church. It's Ash Wednesday. You know, one of those Catholic things you have to do."
------------------------
Monday, February 04, 2008
Shopping at the 'Port
I've decided, during my five hours at the Phoenix airport, that my house will one day have this carpet. 
The planes. They're so... so... mesmerizing.
Mr. Perfect is expecting me to bring him a sample. If only I could have gotten that boxcutter past security...
The planes. They're so... so... mesmerizing.
Mr. Perfect is expecting me to bring him a sample. If only I could have gotten that boxcutter past security...
Tip o' the Day
If you're going to skip showering on Sunday and wear a muu muu around like I did, sit next to the cutest dang kid around to distract people from your skankiness. 
Especially if you can find a kid that puts together outfits that kick as much ass as Caroline's always do. Clearly she gets her incredible sense of style from Aunt Erin.
Especially if you can find a kid that puts together outfits that kick as much ass as Caroline's always do. Clearly she gets her incredible sense of style from Aunt Erin.
That's How We Roll
So a few months ago we had a siblings night. I love siblings nights. Why? Because:
1) I love my siblings. 
2) I love partying with my siblings friends and their siblings. 
3) We usually get violent. Which makes for good pictures.
5) I always try to beat the boys.
Usually at chugging and burping and lady-like shit like that.
And... now... arm wrestling?
400lb men I don't know.
That are dressed in FedEx uniforms.
Oh, and I feel the need to talk smack.
The overhang.
Keeping it real, mid-wrestle.
6) The Brilliant Ideas that one of us always has. This time, K-Diddy happend to win with: "Let's take a family picture! Outside! In THE GUTTER!"
He ran, jumped, and layed down in the gutter.
I followed quickly. Why wouldn't you??
Shell was scared. Confused. Disturbed. I don't think she'll join us out again.
Aren't you jealous? My family kicks ass. Literally (see numbers 4 & 5).
Thanks Pagan Megan for taking all the amazing photos. And thanks to K-Did for finally sharing his gutter pics, 4 months later.
F. Just F.
My headphones only work if I hold the cord. In my mouth. 
Fuck. This sucks.
And turns out, I look fatter when angry/frustrated/tired/sitting on the floor without shoes on in the airport.
Fuck. This sucks.
And turns out, I look fatter when angry/frustrated/tired/sitting on the floor without shoes on in the airport.
Billie Jean just isn't the same with one headphone
What's more annoying than having your already long-ass day made longer by an hour-plus flight delay in Phoenix, which is full of Superbowl paraphernalia wearing loud fools?
Your headphones cutting out.
Damn.
I can't wait to get home, 17 hours after I left this morning. Bleh.
Your headphones cutting out.
Damn.
I can't wait to get home, 17 hours after I left this morning. Bleh.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
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