Shopping in Tulsa

I finally stopped by one of the western outfitters today. There are only two words needed to describe it.
Ah-
Mazing!

Check out these sweet ass boots:

Not your style?

Don't worry. There's about 50,000 options.

And while I already knew this from spending a fair amount of time in cowboy/farm stores, I never cease to be amazed at how expensive this stuff really is. All the boots were all over $200. Cowboy shirts (with pearl buttons, you know the kind) were $50 and up. And hats? The hats were onwards of $300.

While I was looking for something for Mr. Perfect, I stumbled upon (and, duh, bought for myself) this masterpiece: Almost as awesome as Heather's shirt (that she stole from Charles in Charge - it's vintage 70's) that says "Hands OFF!" with the hand prints.

I did get a totally choice cowboy shirt for Mr. Perfect that he will rock the hell out of. Too bad they didn't have the t-shirt that said "Cowboys want more than 8 seconds" in his size. Maybe I should have gone with "Cowgirl Season Starts Tonight"?

So the cutest cowboy interaction occured as I was leaving the store. A young cowboy and his little cowboy son were leaving the (extensive) hat section. The man was carrying a new hat. His son asked him when he was going to get to wear one. The dad was so cute, told him they were going to get one right then and headed towards the children's section. Such a touching cowboy rite of passage.

Oh, and just a friendly reminder:


Love the little hearts.

More than Scary

Apparently the elementary schools in Tulsa haven't heard the news. Clowns are scary.

Especially when painted by children. From a bulletin board in a Tulsa elementary school:

This is my favorite/scariest.

Thoughts on Tulsa

I'm going to keep updating this post as needed while I'm in Tulsa.
Latest updates at the top.

There are lots of mustaches in Tulsa. Probably my favorite feature so far.

And fun accents.

And people that say someone is the person that will "ride herd" on a project. It means you're in charge. You're keeping things in line. You're making sure the cattle aren't running off.

The window to my hotel room is right next to the dumpster. The dumpster that apparently is a transformer that was getting jiggy with another robot in disguise the other night. That's the only way I can rationally explain the noises I heard at 3 a.m.

It's windy.

There are lots of western outfitters stores - two within walking distance of my hotel.

There are lots of pickup trucks.

There are also lots of cowboy hats.
At meetings.
Business meetings.

And at the business meetings there are also green, skin-tight jeans worn with polyester suit coats and color-coordinated shirts and ties.

And I love it.

KU is still ranked number 2!!

In Kansas.


Haha bitches! Best fucking night ever!!!
It's like the best early birthday present ever. It's like K-State decided to give me a little gift, said hey, it's been since 1983. Erin was born in 1983. Let's celebrate her 25th by kicking KU's ass.

Done.

Thanks AA-G for the line. Love it.

Wind Chillin'

Really, the only way to describe a wind chill.

Am I the Only One?

That gets super nervous when the long-term parking buses at KCI speed up to the security gates because I'm almost certain every time that the arm isn't going to lift in time and we're going to hit it?

And let me tell you how awesome it is to be sitting at the airport, right now, watching the weather rapidly decline. It was like 70 degrees when I left my house at 8:15, and now it's near blizzard status.

So perhaps I exaggerate. It's still shitty outside.

Haikus for Long Distance Lovin'

Nothing says sexy,
Like a breakout on your face,
From too much phone time.

How many minutes?
Sprint rethinks unlimited.
I showed them who's boss.

"Long distance? No good!"
They forget I love talking.
Feel sorry for him?

This man needs a name.
He vetoed Sugartits. Dang.
Mr. Perfect? Done.

KC to DC
Who cares about monuments?
He's Mr. Perfect!

This is why I love the man

If you got it you got it.
If you don't, that doesn't mean you can't go get it.
You just need to find what you have.

-Snoop Dogg

Head of Ranch Security

I don't know which member of my family first discovered Hank the Cowdog, but I do know that every single person in my family loves him.

Anyone who has had a dog that has taken their job of Head of Ranch Security as serious as some of our dogs did will get a kick out of Hank.

While the Hank the Cowdog series is technically children's literature, I believe they're actually more enjoyable for adults. In fact, John Erickson originally wrote about Hank for a cattleman magazine.

GDSean and I used to bring the books, and (even better) the audio tapes home - they would quickly make the rounds through the entire family. Dad uses the phrase "Head of Ranch Security" on a regular basis - to describe both ambitious animals and underachieving humans.

Here's Hank's description of himself from the first book:

"When I took this job as Head of Ranch Security, I knew that I was only flesh and blood, four legs, a tail, a couple of ears, a pretty nice kind of nose that the women really go for, two bushels of hair and another half-bushel of Mexican sandburs.You add that all up and you don't get Superman, just me, good old easy-going Hank who works hard, tries to do his job, and gets very little cooperation from anyone else around here."

K-Diddy gave everyone in the family a little gift the other day by pointing us to Hank's website.

Love.
It.

It's poorly designed.
It's ridiculous.
And it's 100% Hank.

You can even join his security force - and start receiving the Hank Times.

Or Not.

Note on my desk this morning (on a catalogue for US Toy):

Erin: I picked this up for you and thought you might like (or not).

Oldness

Saturday night I went to K-Diddy's to celebrate his birthday. For some reason, I was the only one dressed up for the '80's theme. Dang.
It's ok though, I got to decorate his cake.


He loved it. See, he pulled out the Face.

My brothers. They're cute.
Momma. Equally cute? Nah. Cuter. (sidenote - how badly do I need a new camera? Badly)
Kate demonstrated some fierce army crawling skills. The party only got better once we realized that the boys could fit in my boots. Turns out freakishly large feet do come in handy at parties.

Kid Bri (his idea, not mine) needed spotters.


He worked the boots in a disturbing, yet not surprising, well manner. Looked at how great Jim's legs look in heels.
Oh, and Kid Bri brought his pimp cup.
That's the wussiest looking pimp cup ever.

My friends have been looking good lately...

67%

Like mother, like daughter?

Ok, so these stories aren't really related and the title is misleading, but eh.

The other night Shell and I had a fabulous dinner at Pizza Bella. (go for the brussel sprouts - no joke)

Anyway, at the end of the meal we had about a glass and a half of wine left. I declined, as the driver. Shell gave an amazing performance, ripping the cork out of the bottle, throwing it over her shoulder, and dumping the wine into her glass. And then promptly giggling up a storm.
I love that woman.
Note not only the sassy new do, but also how well Maureen's ring compliments Shell's ensemble.


The next day I had the pleasure of watching Mush, Caroline and Mady. PT made some awesome dinner - chicken parm. In fact, I was enjoying it so much that it wasn't until near the end of the meal that I noticed Mush was in dire need of a napkin.

Note: long sleeve white shirt + spaghetti = bad idea
However, long sleeve white shirt + spaghetti + Mush = freaking adorable

Funny, I threw my Nachos Bell Grande

I just got invited to a Facebook group "In Memory of Heath Ledger."

The description of the group, straight from Facebook:
"I was eating in Taco Bell with my cousin when I heard the news that the amazing actor, Heath Ledger, passed away. I almost threw my Crunch Wrap against the wall and puked out of anguish... I really had alot of respect for him for his abilities and what I knew of him and I made this group for all of those other fans out there who are pain stricken by this news."

As if you needed another reason

Shell just got a thank you letter with photos and drawings from our adopted family. She said they wrote it before the gifts arrived.

The twins are their 16-year old daughter's babies--she is still in school, on honor roll and has a job. The mother and father both work and she writes that they had the year all planned, but the babies have made things difficult financially.

How crazy.

When I was shopping for the 16 year old (thought she was 13) I tried to make sure thing were age appropriate - not sure if that make up is too much, is that jewelry too big, etc.

And she has two children. Wow.

We weren't given sizes or anything for the Dad, so we assumed that it was a single mom. I wonder if he opted out of the gifts, maybe so the kids would get more?

I remind myself every single day that you just really don't know what's going on in other people's lives. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Yet I feel humbled by this letter. You really just never know what others are going through.

Can you imagine being 16 with twins? And in school? And with a job? Can you imagine being parents, faced with the decision of how to raise your 16 year old and her two infants - at the same time?

I can't.

The mom wrote: "I am just glad that the Lord provided us a way to put smiles on our kids faces for Christmas morning. We will say a special prayer to God for you and your family for helping and blessing us with things you've done for our family this year."

Things to do on a date

Gaze lovingly into the eyes of a confused looking wig mannequin head thing.

Question if placing the sign "New Look!!" under this mannequin was intentional.
Walk around the monuments at night. Oh, wait, that was a horrible idea. Walk two blocks towards the monuments, take a picture, then run the entire way back to the car. Go get Kahlua & coffee instead.
Take pictures of each other by the glow of your video game table.

While on a double-date, see who can get the bigger and better Guinness 'stach. Take pictures of each other, ignore the other couple's confusion/staring.

But it's ok, I'm just going to work

Sometimes I tell myself that even though my pants are too short to wear, it's ok because
1) I'm just going to work
2) I wearing boots, so the boot leg will just look...like...pants?

Study them. Memorize them. Fear them.

I'm not normally a big fan of e-mail forwards, I mean, unless they have lots and lots of threats of bad luck in them, but this one is just too legit to quit. Oh, and I'm super lazy/busy but I still love you enough to entertain you.

9 Words Women Use

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").

8) Whatever
Is a women's way of saying Screw YOU!

9) Don't worry about it, I got it.
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Get Your St. Agnes On

Hey Ladies, it's that time of year again. St. Agnes Day! Ok, so actually tomorrow is, but I wanted to give you plenty of time to plan out all of your St. Agnes Day activities.

Who is St. Agnes?

Who the hell are you?

St. Agnes was a virgin martyr.

St. Agnes is the patron saint of chastity, gardeners, girls, engaged couples, rape victims and virgins. (I couldn't make that shit up. It's straight from Agnes' wiki)

So really the possibilities for parties are endless.

But this year it gets even crazier.

I know, you thinking, but Erin, how could I possibly top last year's St. Agnes Day party?

I'll tell you how.

Combine with your I Have a Dream party. That's right kids, the stars and calendar have aligned. St. Agnes Day falls on Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Nothing says a day not a day off like a I Have a St. Agnes Dream party.

Early Birthday shopping

Hey, March isn't that far away.

But I think K-Did has dibs on getting this one for me.

Haiku for my Dermatologist

It’s not Ebola?
Why would you even ask that?
Does that mean no, Doc?

Weird redness on face
Doctor gives me sulfur cream
What’s that smell? My face.

Is that a stink bomb?
The harsh words pour out his mouth.
Oh, just Erin’s face.

Umm... why not?

Of course, something this fabulous has to be from K-did.

You decide

Elvira?

Only worthy of commentpliments?

I picked a picture of me pouting. I felt it was most appropriate considering the circumstances.

In all fairness, I have some mayjah poofiness today that is enhancing the Elvira feel.

Actually it's the Mistress of the Dark

So Captain Inappropriate (my coworker & I are working on a better name) strikes again.

CI: "Hey Elvira!"
Me: "Seriously? Really? You really just said that?"
CI: "Yeah! Princess of Darkness!"
Me:

Best Headline Ever

Consider this a gift from K-Diddy.


Good Morning.

I can think of a very good reason

The Shoebox blog has quickly become a favorite of mine in the past couple of months. When I saw this cartoon today by Russ, I immediately started laughing and remembering one of my favorite GDSean stories.

If you're a member of my immediate family, chances are you are already laughing.

Growing up on the farm, GDSean and I got ourselves into trouble from time to time. I don't mean trouble like Mom and Dad are angry, I mean trouble like the time GDSean hit me with the ax and we were a mile from home. (another tale, another time)

One day GDSean and I were wandering around the site where Dad was going to build a new shop. He had already drilled the post holes for the foundation, but, in typical style, that was months and many rain storms ago, so the holes were starting to fill in a bit. That said, they still had to be at least 4-5 feet deep.

So GDSean and I were very interested in a certain hole that appeared to have a small rodent at the bottom.

We guessed a mole.

GDSean came up with an absolutely brilliant idea. He would crawl head first into the hole and check it out. When he wanted up I would just pull him right out. No prob, right?

Actually, I have to give him some props here (can you help Mom?) he did put a 2x4 into the hole so he could help push himself back out. Unfortunately he forgot the fact that I was in third grade, he was in fifth and oh, I have no upper body strength.

Not to mention the fact - what the hell was he going to do once he was face to face with the animal?

Well, lucky for him, turns out it was a mouse... no... a mole... no... just a clump of mud.

"Ok, Erin, pull me back out."

And this is where the problem begins.

I can't. I tried and tried and tried, but I couldn't get him out. He was starting to scream at me, surely not helping the fact that half of his blood was already rushing into his head.

I panicked.

A lot.

Finally I ran across the farm to get Dad.

Unfortunately for GDSean, one of the old neighboring farmers was at the house, sampling moonshine with Dad.

Uh-oh.

I ran up to Dad and explained to him what was going on - "Sean's stuck in a hole headfirst and I can't get him out!"

Dad told him to go back and try again.

So I ran back across the farm to GDSean, who's feet weren't even visible.

And I tried again.

Now folks, this is the point of the story where GDSean gets mad at me all over again and yells at me for "not really trying." Are you joking? Of course I was trying. I knew he was going to kick my ass if I didn't get him out pronto! I was trying. I was just weak!

So I ran back again.

And Dad told me to try again.

So I tried again.

Then I ran back to Dad again, almost in tears.

So Dad & the Farmer start the slow journey across the farm, taking their time.

The finally show up at the hole.

Dad leans down and plucks Sean straight up.

His head was what I would call a nice eggplant purple.

So here's where it gets good. The farmer goes back and tells all the other neighbors this story, with one beautiful, incredible twist.

I saved Sean's life.

About a month later at school I get called down to the principal's office. Why? Because I got flowers delivered to school for being chosen as Atchison's Person of the Week for saving my brother's life.

I'll pause while you consider how hilariously pissed this made GDSean.

Sometimes life is so incredible you couldn't even make it up if you wanted to.

Holla!

Just wanted to say what's up to Mandy and all my new friends at the architecture firm.

Holla!

Dang

So I dyed my hair black again this weekend.
Today at work I only got commentpliments.

Erin, your hair is dark.
Erin, you colored your hair.

Dang it.

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News

I went to the doctor today because I've been having some headaches and now my throat is sore and I'm coughing up some nastiness.

Now, I don't really like going to the doctor. I love it.
I feel like it's my mission to make the doctor's day a little more exciting and fun by giving myself bizarre diagnoses and just being pretty typical Erin-goofy. And once again, I was totally successful.

This was probably the best doctors office visit, uh, ever.

So I explained to the doctor my symptoms - sore throat, coughing, clearing my throat, headaches. And then I laid it on the table.
"I'm going to see a boy this weekend. You MUST heal me!"
The doc was like, "Wait, he lives in another city? Erin! This is a recipe for disaster!"
At which point I yelled at him - "Nooooo! Don't say that! No way! Come on! What is this? Dr. John or Dr. Phil!?"

It got pretty hilarious when I busted him out - part of his argument against the situation was "long distance dating doesn't work"- which he followed up with, "I dated my wife long-distance for three years."

"Uhh, Dr. John what are you trying to tell me??"

Hilarious.

He then fumbled out an explanation of how they lived in the same city first blar blar blar. Pretty cute.

We then had a lengthy conversation about what the boy does for a living and the chances of him moving to KC. It took a hot minute, but I sold Dr. John on the situation.
Then we mapped out a plan for the next 3-5 years together.

Umm, I'm not joking, Dr. John really like, prescribed my next moves in life.

So once he was sold, he was on a mission to heal. He started asking me if I was having any trouble sleeping due to coughing, I told him I thought I'd be good with an antibiotic and didn't need to treat the symptoms yet. "Ohhhh no," he said, "We're going at this full force! You're going to be better by Friday!"

I loved it.

Then I remembered that last night my eye started twitching and watering and it was doing it again this morning - so I told him about that. And that folks, that is when he took this doctors visit for a little stroll into the Doctor's Office Visit Hall of Fame.

"Erin... are you really stressed out?"
"I... don't... think so?"
"Because, all of these symptoms aren't from you being sick. (big pause) You are too excited about this guy. You like him too much."
At which point I screamed, "WHAT!?!? Are you telling me I'm love sick? That I'm geeking out so hard on this boy that I've developed a physical symptom? A twitch??"
"Yes"
"Well!!!! Are you a love doctor!??! What do I do now!?!?"
I really wish I could have seen what the nurses were doing, because I really was yelling at him. And laughing.
And coughing.

Anyway, he went on to tell me that he could see how excited I was, even sick, and that he was concerned about how excited I would be if I wasn't sick. I agreed with him that he would not want to be around me if I wasn't sick. I would be annoying as all hell. He also said he was worried about me getting supremely disappointed since I was so excited. I think he relaxed though when my immediate reply was, "I know, right, like totally!!" So it's like, yeah at least I know this is a slice of dangerous pie that I'm about ready to dig into.

But Dr. John was down with my excitement level. I explained that it's my goal every time that I go to see him to be the most entertaining patient of the day.
He told me I won.
Hands down.
He said it was great to be helping me get better because, "all these other people come in and they want to get better so they can do lame things, like go to work. This is different, you have a purpose."

Hell f'ing yeah I do Dr. John.
This is like my life you are changing here!

So by the end of the visit he gave his blessing on the guy, prescribed me some stuff to make me better by Friday (so cute, he kept saying, we have time! We have time to beat this! It kinda felt like I was Cinderella and he was a mouse helping sew my dress for the ball), and I invited him to the wedding.

Oh, and he also told me to play it cool with the guy. Not to show him my excitement/extreme geeking out something.

Dang.

Too late?

Yes. Probably. Most likely. Um, ok, totally too late.

But do I have the best doctor in KC? Hell yeah I do.

I actually got a diagnosis of love sick. I freaking love it.

Runnin' it

Friday night was the concert. Chris. Bow Wow. Soulja Boy. Sean. Lil Mama.

And folks, it did not disappoint. I would have to say this was probably one of the best concerts I have been to for two reasons:
1) The dancing. Umm, wow. Wow. Just... wow.
2) The crowd excitement. It felt like every couple of minutes the entire arena was on its feet bustin' a damned move. So fun.

Before the concert we went to McFaddens for a drink. But... we didn't have time for food. Dang it! Probably not a good idea? But the concert started at 7, so we were rushed. I have to say I was quite disappointed with Jiggity Jill's outfit. I was hoping for more Jiggity. But, eh.

After a few drinks we headed across the street. The line to get in wasn't too bad. I failed the metal detector though - while I was getting wanded I explained it was probably my huge necklace. The security guard told me it wasn't, so I explained that it must be my hottness. He didn't seem amused, but C-Love enjoyed it the comment.

So we finally found our seats only to discover that it was about 7:15 and Sean Kingston was half through his set and Lil Mama was already done. I was supremely disappointed. Lil Mama was a huge draw for me. But... still a happy camper. C-Love and I took a quick bathroom break at one point during the concert. And that's when the shit went down. I was squeezing past some girls, and when I say girls, I mean 10-12 year olds, in the bathroom. Ok, so I didn't say excuse me, but 1, I was pretty tipsy (no time to eat, remember) and quite focused on the task at hand and 2, I tried to squeeze past! Anywho, I think my fabulous purse may have possibly lightly grazed a 12 year old. Who immediately yelled, "Excuse YOU!"

Followed by:

"BITCH!"

At which point I turned and ran out of the bathroom. I didn't feel this was quite the forum for a discussion with the girl.

While I was hiding/waiting for C-Love, I saw this. And it pissed me off.
Um, hi, UMB, actually it's not at all like having a rich uncle. It's like having the ability to access your own damned money. Unless you're going to start giving me money envelopes at Christmas time, I don't think you're anything like a rich uncle. I think you're actually like a bank teller, but a machine.

So with that bit o' drama behind us, we headed back in to watch Bow Wow. And watch him. And watch him. And watch him. I don't know if he had a really long set or we had just had enough big beers, but the combo for some reason forced C-Love to make this face in about 5 pictures. Awesome.
And Hilarious.
So I tried folks, I really did. I tried to get pictures of the moves that were being busted. It was impossible. But just trust me when I tell you it was incredibly fun. I do like the concentration showing on both Jiggity Jill and AL's faces. They were working hard on getting their groove on.


When Chris finally came out after Bow Wow the place about lost it. He was incredible. I loved how Chris and a couple of the other performers ripped off their shirts and just grinded away at the air, then actually got down on the ground and humped the stage.

And you're thinking, oh my god. As in omg, that's just tacky and strange.
But if you were there you would have been thinking oh..........my...... god....
As in, omg, Chris Brown can I have your babies?
At one point I thought one of my girls was going to start taking off her clothes. It was a close call. I really don't know how to describe the ridiculous sexiness of it all, so I won't try.

A highlight of the night - Rhi Rhi showed up out of no where and sang Chris' remix of Umbrella. That made us very very very happy.

Here's someone's video of the performance. The sound is terrible.





After the concert C-Love and I were inspired. Inspired enough to do these horrible dance moves and document them.
I'd like to say thank you to C-Love for preventing me from buying a $30 concert t-shirt that said "Party Like a Rockstar" in the height of big-beer distorted thinking. She is a true friend.

Cooking with the Surgeon General

Jiggity Jill passed along this nugget of wisdom Friday night:

You know when it says on prescription bottles that alcohol may intensify the affects of the medication? Well, that's just a serving suggestion, like adding celery to Hamburger Helper.

Weird Science

Best part of waxing your pits: Not shaving afterwards
Worst part of waxing your pits: Not shaving before

I feel like I have a science experiment going on up in here.

Just to clarify

We went on a date.
A bad one.
And you don't call.
For two weeks.
And I certainly didn't call your ass.

And then you're all holla balla* sending me a text saying, "Hey how are ya?" last night?

Hell to the no.


*btw, I think C-Love may have coined the holla balla term, I linked to a similar usage, but really it's in reference to guys calling us up. It's fabulous. You should use it.

Might be my problem as well?

Shell's kids are so funny it makes me angry. Anywho, Caroline-y might be right on this point.

Nanny Needed

You've seen how cute my nieces are...now there's an amazing opportunity for a truly lucky person to be their nanny. They are looking for someone part-time in the Waldo, KC area 3-4 days per week. If you have experience and are interested or know someone, please email me (erinintherealworld at gmail).

As the GM, I will review all applications.

How can I not be excited?

Just got this in an e-mail:

This will be the greatest weekend ever and that is probably an understatement.

The best part? That's not even from the person I'm visiting, that's from his roommate.

Wicki Wild... Wicki Wild... Wicki Wild Wild West

So in prep for tonight I'm rocking out the argyle. (this counts, right?) So of course, my favorite commentplimentor had to say something.

Him: Erin! I like your tights!

Me: Thanks.... (waiting for the follow up)

Him: They remind me of

Me: here we go....

Him: The Wild Wild West!

Me:

Him: You know....

Me:

Him: Yeah! The saloon girls. They had patterned tights too.

Me: Uhh, I don't think they were rockin' the argyle.

I must admit though, I kinda love that he said that because it reminded me of the time we were on family vay cay at the lake and Pat and I had the TV turned up all the way watching the Wild Wild West music video, trying to learn the line dance, when some of Shell's friends walked in and busted us. Apparently they had been ringing the doorbell and knocking for a while, but we were rockin' to hard to hear. Good times.

Get Yer Apple Bottom Jeans and the Boots with the Fur

I'm taking a huge risk here with all you stalkers by telling you what I'm doing tomorrow night. But.. I can't help myself! I'm so excited I'm pulling a Jesse Spano up in herrre.



What am I doing? I'm going to see my friends.
Chris Brown. Bow-Wow. Soulja Boy. Sean Kingston. Lil Mama.
I would make some comment here like oh yeah, you're jealous. But who are we kidding? Only three of you know who they are. Let me just summarize. They are amazing. Ok, so this first song isn't by any of them, but it's kinda been my theme in prep for the concert.


SeeqPod Music beta - Playable Search

Oh, and let me just give a disclaimer here - there's going to be lots of stereotypes perpetuated below. So, yeah.

So I'm going with my friend C-Love, Jiggity and AL. I've ghettoed up their names for the occasion. Now, Jiggity is a white girl with even whiter hair (no really, it's almost white it's so blond) who wishes she was black. She's obsessed with everything black, especially men. Favorite movie? Stomp the Yard. Favorite song? Anything with Shawty in the title. She has said she, "just wants a man who will call me shawty." Jiggity is probably one of the most entertaining people I've ever met in my life.

So ever since C-Love organized the tickets for this little adventure I've been saying that I need to get some Apple Bottom jeans and the boots with the fur. And I was joking.

Jiggity took that one step further. She went to a little store called New York Fashions. I am guessing you've never heard of this store. That's because it's a bizarre little shop in the Ward Parkway Shopping Center that you would never intentionally go in. It has a lot of awesome stuff like denim jumpsuits and ... other jumpsuits? I think on the mall map it's listed under Ghetto Fab.

Anywho, so Jiggity tries on some Ecco jeans and a Baby Phat shirt and asks the lady at the store if she looks ok. I think she got some sort of snort of no in reply. So Jiggity was like, "No! Tell me what to wear! What's wrong with this? What?"

White girl flipped out.

So finally the ladies in the dressing room helped her out by explaining that she wasn't matching. As in her brands weren't matching and she looked a fool.
So she modified the outfit, getting a "matching" Ecco shirt.
Who knew?

Meanwhile, C-Love and I have decided that if AL and Jiggity are going ghetto fab then we will represent. We will be as white as possible. Like button up shirt, argyle sweater, single strand of pearls white. A good contrast.

It's going to be poppin'.

15 minute trip to the Plaza later...

Kids.
This ain't no joke.
These are probably the hottest thing I've ever bought. And that's saying a lot. I mean, is this even legal? Can I actually wear these?
Hell yes I can.
Go get your own right now so we can both be accused of working on Troost. Thank you DKNY. Thank you. Pictures do no justice. No justice.
These aren't fishnets, these are like what? Whale nets? Love it.

So I had a dilemma.
Or as I like to say a dil-llama.

I don't have a problem switching purses. I probably do it, oh, 5 times a week? But I just wanted something, I don't know, something subtle that I could wear with anything. And damned if Aldo didn't come through for me again!

Hello, love.


Hey! Who forgot to tell me that red velvet cupcakes kick ass? The Mixx, that's who.

What a good post-work shopping excursion!

Take that Plato!

My soul mate?

Socrates.

I'm actually surprised

I didn't think it was this bad!


How evil are you?


Dang... thanks a lot Spyder.

Who's ready for next week?

Because after reading my horoscope for next week, I totally am.

Your best days for all things love-related this week: Friday and Saturday (how timely!). Make fresh overtures, fire up existing connections and plan hot dates or big shindigs -- whatever your situation, you've got a way with words and insightful ideas now. Oh, and you're pretty darn amazing -- energetic, spontaneous, passionate -- on Monday and Tuesday, too. Wednesday and Thursday give you time to catch up on work, while Sunday gives you time to catch up on sleep. Overall, it's a rather stellar week to be you. Kick-start your love life and enjoy the heck out of yourself! - Yahoo


Holy amazing predictions Batman!

Adventures in Babysitting

PT & Shell asked if I'd babysit tonight, and after realizing I hadn't been over to their house since Christmas which meant I hadn't done laundry in a couple of weeks, I decided to go for it.

My favorite quotes so far:

Mush: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: yes!
Mush: How does a cow poop?
Me: I don't know...
Mush: One! hahahahahaha

Later, the girls are watching TV -
Me: I think the girls should write a play!
Mush: Just play on the computer, Air-win.

Update:
Paradise by the Dashboard Lights is a really great song to dance to with the kids.
They are not fans of my singing in general, but especially disdainful to my version of You've Lost that Loving Feeling.

Didn't see this one coming

I don't get called conservative often.

You Are a Conservative Democrat

Frankly, the way most other Democrats behave embarasses you greatly. You pride yourself on a high level of morals, and you have a good grasp on right and wrong. It's likely you think America needs to get back to its conservative, Juedo-Christian values. Why aren't you a Republican then? Because you believe the goverment helps more than hurts.

What's Your Political Persuasion?

Demons out!

We baptized the hell out of Luci this weekend. Or, at least the sin. And who's the Godmother, oh yeah, me! K-daddy had to stand in for GDSean, the absentee Godfather.
Dang, we were taking this stuff seriously! Oh, wait. This was before K-diddy tried to burn me with the baptism candle when no one was watching. No joke. He really did.Don't worry kids, I kept it real at the baptism. Fishnets are cool in church, right? Yeah they are. I brought SexyBack to baptisms.

Filed away for future use

I should probably squirrel away fabulous ideas like this for my wedding.

This really takes the Barbie cake I've always wanted to a whole 'nother level. An incredibly, insanely delicious level.

Christmas EVERY Day

K-diddy is amazing because he sends me shit like this.
I think the beauty queen's lisp is the best part.

In discussing the clip, K-did & I described it as spectacular, amazing & genius via IM.

Enjoy.

Shirt? Dress? Shirt?

I wore the red shirt? Dress? out again on Saturday. This time with pants. I ran into some old friends of mine, one of them said, "I was just looking at that cute dress and then realized I knew you." Further adding to the dress/shirt confusion. Dang.

As a sidenote, my friend C is such a fashionista she asked if I was wearing Lincoln Park After Dark nail polish. Wow. Yes, ma'am. How... why... eh, forget it.

Oh, and a suggestion for all the creepy creepster 45+ year-old men who are contemplating hitting on my 25 year-old friends, wearing a NASCAR M&M jacket is never going to help your odds.

Ever.

Ever.

Top 5 Ways to Spend an Ex-Boyfriend Bonus

An ex-boyfriend bonus is a referral bonus I got for referring my ex. And these are the top fives ways I've spent mine:


5. Racking up $70+ tabs


4. Buying shirts and wearing them as dresses


3. Getting a ridiculously expensive mullet. And looooving it.

Mulletlicious so Delicious.


2. Buying my first real piece of artwork, done by my incredibly talented uncle, Stephen Hummel. Check out his paintings and shoot him an e-mail (smhummel214 at yahoo) for more information. Pictures do no justice.

And the number one way to spend an ex-boyfriend bonus.....

Buy a plane ticket to see a boy.



Hell yeah.