It's what's for dinner

Tonight I had an awesome girly night - complete with Grey's Anatomy, hanging with Heather, all her sisters, and Melissa (and maybe a few select gents) and a three course meal consisting only of meat.

First course - sausage
Second course - steak
Third course - ribs

Heather was nice enough to serve each course cut into bite-size pieces with the appropriate sauces on the side.

Oh, and we had some chips and salsa.

That's normal, right? I mean, I don't expect Shea to think it's normal to eat only meat, but eh, whatevies.

Funny thing is we're having a bbq contest at work tomorrow, so I'm pretty sure I will be eating meat only for dinner tomorrow as well. I think these are the perfect pre-shucking meals.

This is why I'm hot

So when I'm alone, bored, waiting for over an hour to see the doctor and have already gone through all the magazines and cabinets and played with the blood pressure machine, well, I take pictures of myself making faces. Haven't you wondered how crossed your eyes really get and how far up you can roll them?? Don't act like you haven't.





Oh, and I don't have TB, although I did tell the doctor that was my self diagnosis.

Lust at first sight

When I saw you, I knew I wasn't going home alone.


In fact, I called my friend and told her you were coming home with me before we even got in the car.

You are the sexiest thing I have ever seen. And we look amazing together too.

I don't care how much you hurt me, and it's almost guaranteed that you will hurt me.


I don't care what it costs me, and I don't even care how long it lasts.


I had to have you, and now I do.


And, I know this is sudden, but... I'm in love with you.

But the good news is

So I'm pretty sure I've narrowed my disease down to either TB or lung cancer. Oh, yeah, I'm sick btw. I think I just coughed up a chunk of lung.

Good news is if I'm quarantined with TB I'll have more time to blog!

True dat

Me to Boss: Well, mo' money, mo' problems.
Boss in very cute old white man voice: Yes, yes indeed.

I'd rather be shucking.

It's officially fall folks! How do I know that? Because it's Corn Shuckin' time! Yee-Hawww! To help you get in the mood for shucking, here are some pics from the 2005 contest. In case you hadn't figured out on your own, innuendos, double entendres and cheesiness will abound.



I guess I should start with a little explanation of what corn shucking is. Well, back in the day, before combines, people had to pick and shuck corn by hand. After all, it ain't gonna shuck itself. Shucking consists of removing the corn from the stalk and removing the husk from the ear of corn. Pros can do all of this in one swift movement. A good shucking is all in the movement of the wrist. Look at this old shucker:
A team of mules or horses pulls a wagon down the row so the shucker can toss ears into the wagon as they go. Good shuckers don't have to look to know they're hitting the right spot.


After your timed turn is over, your corn is weighed.



Like any contest, there is a way to cheat. A dirty shucker is someone who doesn't actually shuck the entire ear - there is some husk left. Someone I know who is probably the dirtiest shucker around... ... and has been known to thrown an ear of corn into the wagon with the entire stalk (and clumps of mud) still attached. That's one dirty mudder shucker!


They say shucking gets better with age. Or they don't say it, but whatever. The best corn shucker around is Bob Staley. Bob is also one of the organizers of the Atchison Corn Shucking Contest. I love it because Bob always kicks my brothers asses. By a lot.

In 2005 I shucked for the first time. Here I am, kicking ass and taking names. Ok, not really kicking ass so much. First, let me just point out the strap you see going across my glove - you can use these to help you shuck, it's like a little claw in the middle of your hand that you use to slice down the ear of corn. Takes a minute to get the hang of, but if you figure it out you'll probably experience the best shuck of your life. Now I must point something else out. You see that little boy sitting in the wagon? Punk. There were kids that rode in the wagon that were timing the shuckers. Unfortunately for me, my brothers decided it would be funny to tell the timers to let me shuck for about 20 minutes, not 5-10 (I can't remember the exact time you get).

This is me, sweating, and I think I just found out that they had let me shuck at least twice as long as I had to. Punked by some 10 year olds. Nice. Good thing was that shucking that long actually helped my poundage sound fierce.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention one of the best parts of the Corn Shucking Contest. Pie. Yup. Homemade awesome pie. There's a small concession stand with lunch food, but really who wants anything other than the pie. Gracie & I at ours in the back of this truck. What a cute little shucker!So, wanna shuck?

I think that means you're ugly...

Girl on The Bachelor: You have gorgeous eyes!
Bachelor: You have... a gorgeous name!

Tuesday Guest Haiku

Pat had some inspiration today:

She shoots at clay birds
They are not even that scared
Since the shot flies by

Tuesday Haiku

I see that husk, Dad!
Corn on the stalk doesn't count.
You dirty shucker.

Tuesday Haiku

Corn shucking contest.
Rivalries, smack talkin', corn.
It's go time again!

Packin' Heat

Saturday I cashed in on Patty’s offer to take me shooting clays.

(oh, I think I should say here that I don’t have the correct vernacular for shooting stuff, and yes I called the shells bullets, whatever, get over it)

So it was pretty much the best day of my life. I showed up at Pat’s in my safety vest and stunna shades, because hello, I don’t want to get shot or go blind. Safety first.

Pat & I got all warmed up for shooting by cussing at each other and taking some hardcore pictures. Don't mess with us.

We went out to the shooting range at the Fort with Pat’s squirrelly neighbor, Kyle. It’s been a while since I hung out with a cocky 17 year old. And now I know why. He was a pretty good teacher when he wasn’t making fun of me/Pat. We got back at him by talking smack while he had ear plugs in. Oh, and I told him Pat said I had to wear the orange vest. Good times.

Check out my bro.I was pretty nervous to be shooting a gun for the first time, and to be shooting it at an actual moving target. I had absolutely no clue what I was doing, and no clue what anything Kyle said meant. High house? Low house? Wha? This is me going, now, wait, what do I do?Surprisingly enough I think I actually hit one on the first round! Yessss!

I learned that wearing long earrings probably wasn’t the best decision. One of them got ripped out by the kick of the gun. No biggie, just pulled it out, no damage to the ear. The pain you pay for fashion.

The best moment was probably when I shot two clay thingies with one bullet. Actually, I’m such a dork that I was like, helllooo, pulllll! Where’s my second one, this is supposed to be a double shot, right? Pat & Kyle had to tell me that I hit them both. I didn’t really believe them at first, and I’m still not sure if it’s true, but whatever, that’s badass and I made sure to get a deuce pic. Pat was fun, telling me after missing a shot that even though I didn’t hit it, I scared the hell out of it. I think you can see the shell flying in this picture.
My arms were pretty sore after all that killing of innocent clays, and I even got a little bruised up from the times I got lazy with my form. My technique varied from shot to shot, but I'd say a good half the time I closed my eyes and just kinda shot in a general direction.

On the ride back to town Kyle asked if I was going back to KC that night, I of course gave him a hard time & asked if he wanted to hang out that night. Well, then Pat called me Saturday night to ask if I asked Kyle, the 17 year old, for his number. Uh, no, no I didn't, but thanks for actually believing the little shit when he told you that Pat! He said that every time Pat was shooting I was asking for his number and asking what he was doing that night. Umm, not so much.

After a testosterone filled day, I was all jazzed Saturday night to get even more guy friend time, but wasn’t able to connect with my buddy. Instead I sent drunken texts that, when read the next morning, were really bizarre and slightly creepy. Male bonding just didn't translate well via text. Oh well, I also recorded Kid Nation when I got home at 1:45a.m., so clearly I was not in the right mind.

If blog comments were a meeting

This was sent to me by someone who claimed it reminded them of a certain KC blogger...
NSFW, but flippin' hilarious.
First!

Go fax yourself.

My friend with the phone number issue just sent out a message saying, "If you need to get a hold of me my fax number is :xxx-xxx-xxxx"

So I just faxed her.

At work.

Hey Friend,
It was great to see you the other day, somehow I didn't ask for your phone number - so sorry! Please send it to me!

E.

I kinda love today.

What's your fax number?

I have an amazing girl friend who is gorgeous, funny, and a ton of fun to hang out with. But, for some reason, she's getting turned down left & right by guys. It's to the point where she decided she doesn't need a cell phone anymore.

Instead of texting she will now be faxing from her home phone.

Seriously, it's totally messed up! She kissed this boy last weekend, but then when he was giving her a ride to her car and she actually said to him that his phone was sad (or maybe it was that it was missing something...) and when he asked about it she said it was missing her phone number. His reply? NOTHING!

Wha???

I mean, at this point, the girl is putting herself out there and you can at least ask for her stinkin' number just to make her feel better. But no.

So she called me with "an update on my fax number." Last night she went out and met a guy at the bars. He gave her his number. Hours later he finds her at another bar, takes her phone, and removes his number from her phone.

Ouch! That kinda hurts, man!

She should have yelled, "don't tase me, bro!"

Anyway, I'm trying to figure this out, and I'm sure all my smart readers are guessing right now that she's crazy and that's why, but I really don't think that's the answer. Hmph.

My main man

I have a coffee shop boyfriend, and he is fabulous.

Every time I run in for a quick latte he is there, greeting me with some fabulous line that reminds me of things my dad, and my friends' dads, say to their daughters friends. Usually it starts with an affectionate nickname, Cutie is a favorite. Then he compliments me on that days wardrobe choices - it's fabulous - it's like having the mirror from Snow White. I'm totally the fairest of them all. At least in the coffee shop.

One time I actually got jealous when another young woman walked in and he yelled out a nickname for her too. I was ready to smack a bitch. Luckily, most young women are more sketched out by the cheesy lines he has to offer. I eat it up. That's most likely a sign of that whole liking in men things that remind you of your father. This guy pretty much is my dad, just in an actual coffee shop all morning instead of McDs.

We usually wrap up our exchange with a little banter about his dogs, what we're doing this weekend, or any random updates on life. One rainy day we talked about how much he hates having wet feet after his time in Vietnam.

The entire thing is usually less than 5 minutes, but it's probably the best way to spend 5 minutes any morning.

Oh lordy...

I'm working on a presentation at work today... on a slide titled "Improved Technologies - Computers" I found this picture... Seriously. What...how... I mean... what do I even say? Suggest a Zach Morris phone if the next slide is about improved cell technology??
Update: I showed the picture of the computer to a coworker - her immediate reply, "That's the computer I played Oregon Trail on. No really, that's the actual computer."
Flippin' hilarious and true.
I should also share the bullets from that slide:

• Internet
• CD ROMS

My friend suggested I add floppy discs. Seriously though, this presentation is only from 2005! I'm pretty sure the internets were thriving, DVDs were used, and Oregon Trail computers had long since been retired.

I don't know if I can make it through this presentation - I'm going to be alternating between laughing, crying, and rocking myself back and forth.

Easier said

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived." - George Patton

Made me think of Greg and his friends.

My New Favorite Saying

After "It's Britney, Bitch!" my new favorite saying is, "Don't Tase me, bro! Don't Tase me!"




Update - Thanks so much to The D for sending me this link. I think you know which one I want for Christmas....

Tuesday Haiku

We are broken up
But your friends keep emailing.
Am I that awesome?

Tuesday Haiku

Got my hair all did
Left salon feeling happy
Not a big fan now.

My friends are more fun than your friends.

I was lucky enough to start the weekend off right with Carms on Friday. We had a pretty packed night - which included me trying to get a table of chiropractors to give me an adjustment at Tomfooleries. 'Cause I really need it! They agreed, but sadly were not willing to do an adjustment in a bar. For some reason I took quite a few senior (self) portraits this weekend. Here are the two winners.
Saturday the Aggieteers were out in full force ... again! Excuse me, Melinda, can you put The Face away!?
Ok, so our friend Mike got us some suck & blow shots at So Long. Yeah, pretty much the trashiest thing ever, but I know you love it (not you Mom). So basically it's a jello shot in a tube and one person has to blow it through the tube while the other sucks it out. Only problem is it doesn't move at all, then suddenly explodes. Umm, this is ... yeah, I'm just going to stop there.
I was not prepared for the force of the shot. Melissa couldn't hang either. Melinda and Mike kindly show how disgusting this whole suck & blow shot biz really is. I think this is possibly the most unattractive photo ever taken of both of them. And I'm putting it here for the world to see.
Found my man Andrew!! Everything about this picture is fierce.
And I love it.
I'm pretty sad that I didn't get any pictures of the party we (aggieteers) started. Basically we have quite a notable history of walking into bars, going straight to the empty dance floor and cutting a rug. It usually takes less than 5 minutes for the dance floor to become packed.

And then we leave.

We have to, we have to spread the dance love to the next bar.
My theory is the twins are freaking amazing dancers, which attracts everyone, and I'm just kinda out of control, which puts everyone at ease to join. It's a really great combo. (you can go here to witness our history of party starting)

I think that pretty much summarizes the weekend... oh, and that I tried to tell people I was Melinda & Melissa's fraternal twin. Might have worked, but then Melissa added that I was also a month older. That complicated our medical miracle a bit. Dang.

I'm lazy

By popular demand (as in one request from Tara) here's the entire e-mail forward (minus the arbitrary years of bad luck if you don't pass it along because "it's the real thing"):

VIRGO - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Me!)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
-I'd like to point out I think it's funny someone along the chain of this forward felt the need to define short fuse, but not egotistical. -

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.

LEO - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.

CANCER - The Protector
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

PISCES - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to begood-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.

TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hardworkers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social andoutgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

Pretty much

What has the world come to when a forwarded e-mail based on astrological signs accurately describes me in 50 words or less?

ARIES - The Dare devil Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Shortfuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

Lazy Monday

Work is going to be pretty annoying today for these reasons:

1) I'm pretty much exhausted. I think round two of leaving Manhattan at 5 a.m. to get back to KC has taught us (Melinda) that perhaps it's not the best idea. It's just so hard to leave though! Manhattan is this crazy utopia with cheap food, drinks, lazying about, naps, dancing, and cute boys! Why would I ever want to leave??

2) I have some sort of eye irritation or something, so I'm wearing my glasses. Which means that I've already been called Lisa Loeb and told if I put my hair up I'd look like a librarian. After two years with the same frames, at the same job, with the same people - they still have the same comments. Thanks guys.

3) One of the guys that sits next to me decided that since our department computer specialist is out today that I will be his personal assistant and computer assistant. Umm, no, actually how about not? He told me that he is going to move his computer into a conference room for a meeting he has later - I told him, hey that should work, you have a laptop, right?
No.
No he doesn't.
He thinks the best possible solution is to move his entire computer into a conference room for a one hour meeting. He seriously told me that was a better idea than checking out a laptop for the afternoon.
Wow.
If that's how you feel, then I think I'm completely cleared from having to help you at all, obviously you are foolish.

4) It's Monday, so I'm dreading Tuesday.

In Love

I know my family kicks ass, I mean, that is just totally obvious, but today I got another reason to love my awesome brothas. From Patty:

"Erin, due to your lack of male companionship, I want to offer a standing invitation to you to go shoot some clays up at the Fort. If you are into the “real deal”, I’ll take you duck hunting on the river. If neither of those does it for you, I am always open for a full day of “Diehard” (1, 2, 3, 4, etc)."

Wow, first a date with my bro-in-law, and now this (not to mention a lunch invite from K-Daddy to pork palace...delicious!).

My brothers are pretty much the shit.

Or... you could wear it?

I left a huge ring at my friend Ben's house last weekend. He wrote me some ideas of what he could do with my bling:

"I can mail it to you or keep it as a memento. I might use it as a topper for my Christmas tree."

I love it. I'm really that gaudy.

Here's to hoping

Tonight I'm pretty busy, an awards gala followed by a bachelorette party. And I'm pretty nervous because this exact time last year, at the same event, also double-booked, I had some... well, if you don't remember or haven't read about it, check it out. I had some drama.

Here's to hoping that doesn't happen again!

Wonder Woman

As if there was any doubt, I'm totally power. At least more than you.

Your Power Level is: 74%

You're a very powerful person, and you know that all of your power comes from within. Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals.

How Powerful Are You?

Arctic Monkeys

Top Moments at Arctic Monkeys with Patrick:
When a guy that reminded me of Pigpen stood in front of us - he smelled so bad that there was a three-foot circle around him. It was shockingly strong B.O. and really funny. So strong a guy next to us actually covered his girlfriend's nose.

Not being able to understand Harry Potter aka the lead singer - and yelling all the British phrases we could think of at him - including but not limited to "Blimey!""Gov'na" "Cup o' tea!" "Rubbish" and my personal fav, "Chim, chim cher-ee!"

Hoping the huge things on stage were tambourines, not lights. Dang.
But mostly, listening to them rock out. It was great.

Cookie Monster

If I offer you a cookie even though I don't like you but have to because you sit next to me and I've offered every other person next to me a cookie and you say no then yeah, I'm going to tell you you can't have it when you walk up to my desk and start opening the container five minutes later.

And I mean it.

Go away.

Lunch time

I had a really random & funny lunch today. Here are some highlights:

- Somehow I spent $7 at Taco Bell. No, I wasn't feeding a family of 10. No, I have no clue how it happened. Yes, I was shocked. And helllll yes, it was good! I tried the new beefy cheesey (sick name) thing, it was ... blah. I also got a baja chicken chalupa and supreme nachos and a drink. Seriously, $7.50! I thought $7.50 at Taco Bell was enough to feed a starving child for a year, turns out it's actually just me, at lunch.

- The exchange had driving into Wal-Mart. I spotted an older guy wearing a pretty large turban pushing the carts inside. I said to my friend, "Do you think wearing a turban is hot?" she immediately replied: "Like it's attractive?"

-Buying a complete outfit (ok, not shoes) at Wal-Mart (yeah I said it, get over yourself) in less than 15 minutes for less than $30. The small town girl in me will always love Wal-Mart. I know it's evil, but ... I will always love it.

- Driving back from lunch my friend was "driving erratically" (her words) and convinced the cop behind us was going to pull us over. I told her she was crazy. The lights went on. We pulled over. She had no proof of insurance, expired tags, and didn't have her drivers license on her. Then she had some strange conversation with the cop in which she said things were nuts in her life and he said, yeah, there's a lot going on right now. Wha? He also said something about how even though she didn't have proof of insurance he knew she was ok - uhh, how? How would he know that if her tags were expired? Pretty sure he just knew she was totally hot.

She didn't even get a written warning. Yesssss!

I'd like to credit that to me telling her to unbutton her shirt one more button/being in Leawood.

And... I'm back to work... boooo!

Somethings missing...

I realized recently that something in my life is missing and it's really bothering me.

Guy friends.

Where are all my guy friends!?!?

I've never understood those girls that can't get along with other girls and only have guy friends - that's not me, but I've always been a girl who has a ton of guy friends - in middle school and part of high school I pretty much lived with my guys - Andy, Blake and Ry.

In college I had my Marks, Pete, and some great ones my senior year (Nick, Blake, Ben - thanks Erin/Tab!).

But none of them live in KC, and I'm starting to realize that making new guy friends outside of school is kinda hard. I mean think about it, if I don't have a boyfriend, don't like the guys at work, and now GDSean has moved - where am I going to find these new guy friends? At the bars? How do you pick up a guy as a friend?

In case you haven't noticed, I kinda kick-ass. I love my girls, but they aren't exactly up for going to see - and actually enjoy - Jackass with me. I need my guys.

Dang. This sucks.

I think this post is brought on by:
1) watching too much My Boys on TBS
2) trying to meet up w/ Andy last weekend & not seeing him
3) hanging out w/ Ryan last weekend - I LOVE THAT KID
4) missing Mark to the point where I'm getting a little stalker-ish

Shoes are like a one-night stand because...

My shoes today are like a one-night stand, or what I've learned about a one-night stand from after school specials/slutty roommates.

They were cheap.

They were so pretty looking at the time. (ok, my shoes are still totally hott looking)

Your friends might have tried to talk you out of it.

An altered state prevented any regret in taking them home (shoppers high/alcohol).

But in the end, it's pretty likely they're going to give you some painful sores and you'll swear them off.

But sometimes you just can't resist trying to make it work.

And the sores come back.

Tuesday Haiku2

About that lunch nap…
11:30 to 1
Totally worth it.

Tuesday Haiku

It’s only 10! How?
Will a nap at lunch help me
expedite Tuesday?

How Will I Know?

I love this cover. Love love love it.

Mondays

My friend Mark sent me this video this morning, explaining that he usually tries to be positive on Mondays, but some time he feels like this guy. I had never seen the extended version of this video, and it's amazing. And amazingly NSFW. And NSF Mom.

Talking in circles

A great conversation I had with my dad:

Me: Yeah, so I have to go to court tomorrow as a witness for the ticket that guy got in my wreck.

Dad: You better go Erin, if you don't they'll send you to jail.

Me: (laughing) what? Jail?

Dad: I'm serious Erin! They'll find you in contempt of court and sentence you to 30 days but you'll only serve 5. You'll go to jail if you don't show up, you better show up.

Me: Well, ok, but I'm going, so...

Dad: You better go! They'll send you to jail.

Me: Well, I'm not worried Dad, I'm going to go.

Dad: It doesn't matter if you're worried, they'll send you to jail.

Me: But Dad, I'm going, there's not a question about it, I'm to court tomorrow, I'm planning on it, it's ok.

Dad: It's not ok, you better go, it's not a joke Erin, they'll put you in jail.

Me: But Dad, I'm going to show up, so I'm not going to jail.

Dad: And if you don't show up they'll put you in jail.

Me: But I'm going Dad! I'm not worried, it's not an issue, I'm going to go tomorrow! I'm planning on it, I'm going!

Dad: You better not be late.

I love you guys!

Friday in Manhattan was good and bad and then good again. I got to spend lots of time with my favorite bosses ever, Mardee and Derek. Sometimes I forget how completely awesome they are. And how lucky I was to have a job in college that didn't require me to work at all.

Friday got a little bad when I went to a frat-ish pre-party. I shouldn't even call it a party, but whatever. I forgot what it's like to go to a "party" where people aren't really talking, just quoting movies. And I don't know if I had a magic cloak on or something, but no one even looked at me, let alone say hi, who the hell are you, etc.

BUT - as soon as I found 1/2 of my favorite people ever, Melissa, I was over it. Melissa was pretty much the entertainment for the night. At 11 she was already a one-person party, dancing up a storm and being carried by my friend down Aggieville. Melissa's a real trooper though, she was still the life of the party at 2:30a.m. I just like this picture though because she looks passed out. Oh! And I got to see Ryan! Love that kid. Saturday the ladies & I broke out the purple for game day. We decided to go tail gate at the stadium, but didn't get there until 5:30p.m. The game started at 6. whoops! So we walked around the stadium for a while trying to find tickets to buy. No dice. As we tried to wind our way back to the bus to Aggieville, we stumbled upon the indoor practice field. With the door open. And no one there. So Tab and I played while Erin yelled at us something about breaking & entering. I reminded her that we didn't break anything to enter, so no biggie. We didn't even take the ball we found with us. Remember Erin, I'm a good girl!This turned out really well considering neither of us really knew what the Heisman pose looked like. At least I think it did... whatevies, it's cute. Once Erin finally got us on our way again, we headed back to wait for the bus. The bus that we found out wasn't coming back for a few hours. Damn! But, never fear! We were at Jardine where a lot of international students live who don't typically go to the game, so I just asked the first random guy walking by for a ride. He was from Jordan. He was nice. It was random.

Once in Aggieville we went to Pat's to eat - now, don't be jealous Patty, but I totally had sweet potato fries. They are oddly delicious. Then we headed to Rusty's to sit outside so Tab could listen to the game.

And that's when things got a bit... odd. I have this really strange and funny story, but upon further reflection I've decided that it's one of those stories, yeah, if you weren't there, it's just, I don't even know, horrible. It was bizarre to say the least.

Anywho, so I met this guy who creeped me out but he did tell me that:
1) I was gorgeous
2) He'd quit smoking for me
3) I'm worth the drive to KC
4) I'm the complete package

Yessssss! All of that after only 10 minutes of idle chatter! I am the complete package!

Then for about thirty minutes I told Tabitha & Erin how much I loved them. Over and over and over. Blame it on the big beers and gin and tonics. So cute.
I found Melissa again on Saturday! Yesss! We put our stunna shades on - blame this on the sangria and completely unnecessary Belfast Bomber. Ben's fault. Thanks a lot Ben.

After the stunna shades came off, reality hit hard when we found an hour wait at Gumby's. So Ben took us to his house where we were crashing. Sunday morning I was asking Tab & Erin why the other people at the house were just staring at me the night before - oh, perhaps because I had "fallen asleep" sitting up for 45 minutes? And they were waiting for me to get up so they could sleep on the couch? Whoops! Again, blaming Ben/Belfast Bomber.

KC Beerfest Info

Even though I shouldn't and probably won't go the KC Beerfest (in Legends - wtf is that? Seriously, how do I get home? and the weekend after the Great American Beer Fest, my liver doesn't want that) I still thought I'd pimp them, especially after I got a super speedy answer to my question about what the ticket price included - here's the reply:

"Thank you for interests in the KCBeerfest. Your ticket gains you access to unlimited sampling of all brews at the event. Food will be available from several restaurants but that will be an additional fee. Please let me know if you have any more questions, and I hope to see you at the KCBeerfest."

Just reading that again makes me want to go, he's so nice! And it's a good deal with tickets on $20 (vs. the $45 I shelled out for GABF) But seriously, what would I do? Stay at Chateau Avalon? Ewww....

I am actually disappointed that there is no mention of DD options, cab numbers, or ticket options for DD's. If you're going to have a festival based on drinking, perhaps you should acknowledge some of the ways to be safe?

Best line from the weekend

Just to whet your appetite for stories from the weekend, I'll share this golden nugget.

As my friend and I are standing around in Aggieville Friday night waiting for our ride a guy who was totally wasted walks up to us and says, "Excuse me, can I talk to you about Jesus?" then busted out laughing. It was hilarious, and you know that is going to be my new drunk line.

Here's the faux Jesus freak.

Pretty funny

There's a Facebook group titled "Monica Lewinsky Had More President In Her Than George W. Bush Ever Will"

You know, the one with the sock

I think I've explained before that my Dad acts like we are currently living in the Great Depression. He won't throw stuff away and accumulates really really really random stuff (box full of bowling trophies? Really? But... you don't bowl...). It's probably due to his upbringing - my grandparents actually did live in the Great Depression and I don't think that is something you can magically shake off. Plus, they were totally poor growing up.

So as the years have passed Dad has become more and more... thrifty? Mom told me this story the other day, and although Shell says it's too crazy to share, I think it's just right. Love you Dad!!

Dad left a gallon of milk out on the counter all day, so clearly it was not good anymore. Instead of throwing it away he told Mom that he tied a sock around the handle of the bad milk so they could tell which one it was.

Ummm....

Mom asked why were they keeping the milk?

Dad said it was for his cats.
(he will randomly have cats at our farm that he keeps scraps of food for, it's pretty cute. He's been known to take home the turkey carcass at Thanksgiving from other people's homes for his cats)

But, mom said, you don't have any cats.

That stumped Dad.

Picturing Dad tying the sock around the handle of the milk carton was too much for me. I told Mom that clearly he's senile and asked her what it was like to live with him. She was laughing pretty hard and said something along the lines of, strange, very strange.

Thank God they are still ridiculously in love!

I'm so excited!

I kinda feel like Jessie in that episode of SBTB where she does caffeine pills and she's "So excited, So excited, I'm so... scared!"

Basically I'm so pumped for all the fun I'm planning on having this weekend I'm overwhelmed. I'm likely to have too much fun. It happens.

I've got fun tonight in Manhattan, which includes a trip to El Cazador which I hear is open again after being shut down for illegals - it's kinda a normal thing there.

Tomorrow it's game day! Woohoo! I'll be sure to have plenty of fun, even without my dumb towel. Hello, isn't Wabash enough? It's unique, it's K-State, why do we have to take the towel thing? Whatevies.

Saturday is super special because yes folks, it's that time of the year, it's GNO time!! Don't be jealous you won't be there to partake. Ok, actually it's probably impossible to not be, but good luck. May I suggest a trip down GNO memory lane? Start with the Roommate Challenge, then move on to Belfast Bombers and a good Mexican joke scrawled on a bathroom wall, and wrap it up with a little Cinco de Drinko/tornado action.

Some people don't have credit cards...

Shell started a blog because her kids are hilarious and she's trying to get a book deal before me. I just wet myself reading her last few posts. Freakin' Awesome.

Melinda + Melissa + Erin = Aggieteers

I had a ridiculously, hilariously good time in Manhattan last weekend. Probably because I was with double the fun - my twins Melinda & Melissa. I have never met more fun people in my life. No matter what you're doing, it's going to be fun. They're up for anything, pretty much whenever. Love it.

Anyway, so we were strolling around Aggieville on Sunday afternoon trying to shop a bit. Pretty much all the stores were closed though, so I suggested a little Coco Bolos action. Yes!! It was awesome. After a carafe of sangria we moved down the list of specials. It was like an entire meal. Appetizer = screwdriver, entree = bloody mary, dessert = mimosa. After we each had each of the specials we moved right along to wine for Melissa & I and a Miami Margarita for Melinda. Love that alliteration.
I'm shocked we're already on round 6. 7? Whateva. Unfortunately for Melinda, the flies were quite smitten with her drink. And smitten with each other in her drink. Ew. Oh, and as you can see from Melinda's hat, we may have been a bit lit at this point... Anywho, Melinda takes her first sip and declares: "This doesn't taste like I want to wear a bikini!" So I take a sip and discover that, "it does taste like fly sex!" As we were tearing through most of the drink list two young gents were seated behind us. I immediately determined they were Saudi princes and we needed to get on their yacht, which was surely at Tuttle. Didn't happen.
After stumbling out of Coco Bolo's we were going to go to the liquor store, but alas! It was Kansas, on a Sunday. Boo. So we headed to So Long to drink pineapple Old Styles (actually amazingly good) and Melissa and I shared our thoughts with Kansas:

Oh, leaving the bars, Melinda insisted I take this picture of her because the truck said Hella. Turned out to be one of my fav pics.

That was pretty much just the very start of our evening - which included meeting a stranger, inviting him out with us, then realizing later that we had incurred major stranger danger when he actually showed up at the bar. Pretty sure he was on drugs.

Monday we planned to lay out at the pool, instead we put on our swimsuits and laid out in front of Melissa's TV. She was the only one motivated/not hungover and entertained us by declaring it was actually MTV's Beach House 2007 while dancing around. Good times. Good times.

There's a reason they call it Manhappiness folks. And I'm going back this weekend! Don't be jealous!