When do I ever not want to eat?

So the Ry Guy and I have entered a little wager. Who's bringing sexyback? Also known as who can lose 10 pounds first. I'm debating a strict diet of water and carrots for a week or three. And what's the prize you ask? Uhh, duh! Knowing we're hotter than each other!

Crazy week - crazy weekend

My insanely busy week at work led to a crazy weekend - which included opera, beer festival, beer pong, and... shootings. Ew.

Saturday the Ry Guy and I hit up the opera - and not just any opera, the Met thankyouverymuch! Shell couldn't go, so she gave us her tickets. Basically the Met is piping in live performances to movie theaters around the country. It was pretty cool, but we both learned from subtitles that you really don't need to know what they are saying in an opera. Actually, you don't want to know. Here's a sampling, which you know Ry & I have been singing to each other all weekend:

(while drinking wine and walking around) "We are drinking wine! We are walking around! We are walking around and drinking wine! I like wine! Wine is good! I drink wine!"

And so on. For hours.

It was really good though.

After the opera we did the traditional post-opera activity of attending a beer festival. It was in Parkville, which we had never been too. It's the quaintest fucking town ever. I just like saying quaint and fucking in the same sentence. Anywho, it was freaking awesome weather and a great day for the festivus. Too bad it was almost over when we got there. oh well.

After the beer festival we were invited to a friend's house for some BBQ action. Ry's neighbors are (praise Allah) moving and have random trash outside, including an office chair. Naturally Ry & I decided to take turns pushing each other in the chair to the party which was 2 blocks away. And naturally as we position the chair in the very middle of the street and I start to sit down, his friends drive up and bust us looking like dumbasses. Actually more like Jackasses....

The BBQ was good, even though the grill didn't work and we had to throw some brats on the broiler instead. Eh, whateva. Then we rocked out to some Gui-tar Hero and beer pong. What a good night. If only I hadn't concluded the evening by eating my Meximelt in the darkness of the car allowing orange grease to drip all over my stark white tank... oh well.

Sunday was a great day - we planned on going to - wait for it - Ward Parkway shopping center for some Starbucks & shoes, but never made it. Thank goodness! Craziness I tell you! What's the dealio with these random shooters? In all seriousness, this makes me nervous - I got to that mall literally every week and so do a ton of my friends and coworkers - and Shell. I stopped by Shells house to make sure she was still alive - she totally was - and found out that Mom called her. That's right, just her, not me. Thanks MOM! I'm the one who doesn't have a husband/family to make sure I'm ok! Geesh! P.S. - she still hasn't called.

Umm, so that's about it. A good weekend. Lots of fun had by all. Oh - funny conversation today. We went to see the Ry Guy's sister/new nephew. I commented on how peaceful & quiet the baby was to which Ry said, "I hope he's not paralyzed" as the rest of us busted out laughing at his hilariously random comment, Ry said, "What?? I said I hope he's not, right??"

Gotta love him, you just gotta.

That's what she said

A Guest blog from my fav, K-did:

Yesterday, a friend of mine at work bet me $50 that I wouldn't say "That's what she said" to our boss within her earshot after a discussion about personality mirroring and The Office. This morning, the boss-man came down my aisle, obviously looking for someone who wasn't there. I asked him what was going on. He said, "Another day in paradise".


That's what she said,
K-diddy

Assbusy

It's been crazy, as expected, this week at work. I'm pretty excited though! Wednesday and Thursday I have client events going on - so far, so good. As long as no one pulls a Dorothy and disappears in a tornado, we should be good.

Wish me luck! And come back Friday.... or next week - Friday is pedicure day!

oh, and in case you were wondering I did get the shoes from Aldo. And another pair. And some bracelets. And headbands.

And it's freakin' awesome.

I love you Jim

And I love bestweekever.tv

he drank the kool aide

Well, the Ry Guy did it. He bought a Mac. He drank the Kool Aide. And now I can blog at his house! Sweet!

Downside: by the time I went to buy the shoes at Aldo the store was closed. Damn.

shoes and laptops

I'm blogging from the mac store on the Plaza. The Ry Guy and I have come here almost every weekend for about six months. I think he's going to buy today. I don't know what we'll do anymore on Sundays and how I'll get him to go to Aldo Shoes (a couple of doors down from the Mac Store) every weekend.

I just found a sweet ass pair of shoes at Aldo that I'm itching to buy.
They're on hold. I'm doing it!

Bagpipin'

Last night the Ry Guy & I were enjoying a peaceful dinner of chicken nachos, quesadiller and beer at the Brooksider when randomly these guys showed up.

That's right, bagpipers.

Just playin'.

Ain't nothin' but a thang.

When are you getting married? And having a baby?

Gracie called me tonight to see when I was having a baby and when I was getting married.
I asked her when she thought I should get married, she replied October.
I asked when she was having a baby - she replied, " I'm only five!!"

I really love nieces. They pretty much rule.

Up top!

It's like Ry's favorite day ever!



And I almost didn't know about it!

Little Super who?

That's right folks, forget about Little Superstar, Weng Weng is the new (little) man!

I love you, my Weng Weng.

I don't know what I think about this...

I checked my mail tonight and I had a rejection letter for a job.

A job I never applied for.

So someone passed my resume along, yeah yeah yeah, but still! I'm not looking for a job and I didn't apply for this one! I don't know how I feel about getting rejected for something I didn't want.

My new favorite blogger

How can you not love the guy who finishes the Boston Marathon last?


From PopCandy - of course.

Marty!

And the random e-mail of the year goes to....

Some guy I've spoken to, oh, I'd say 4 times ever just sent me this e-mail:

Subject: Just Curious!

Hey Erin! How's it going? I'm starting to hear rumors about various people planning on retiring this year! Just curious if you know if anyone in your division has announced or plans to retire over the next year?

You know I replied & said:
Just curious, why are you asking?

Updates to come.

Update:
Just got totally creepier.

He wrote back this:
(lists people he's heard are retiring)
Why am I asking? Just like you, and like I titled my email to you, "Just Curious"!! Let me know if you hear of any. Thanks!

something about the whole, just like you, just curious line reallllly creeps my shit out. Ew.

Pearl is keeping it funky

This is probably the best thing I've seen. Ever.

It's a boy!

Well, we already knew that, but whateva. The Ry Guy's sister had her second child this morning, Martin. Pretty cool since Martin was Ry's Mom's maiden name. I already called the baby Marty McFly, to which Ry replied, "You're making fun of my nephew and he's not even 2 hours old." Touche.

Surprisingly Marty was only 7lbs or so. Alana, Martin's sister was 9+ lbs and they had projected Martin to be around 9 as well. This concerned me about a future with Ry considering I was 9lbs 6 oz and come from a family of large babies.

Hopefully some pics tomorrow! We're going to go see the kid tonight.

Best flippin' pizza. Ever. Seriously. Really. It's amazing.

Shell mentioned to me the other about how she was excited to go the The Dish in person and get pizza that she had bought frozen at the grocery store. I hadn't heard of it before, but happened to see it at the store Sunday night and decided to try it. Holy shit. It's really really really damned good.

Go get some. Now.

Weekend stuff & babies babies babies

Look at that baby bump! I love it. This weekend was good, a lot of relaxing was accomplished. I also went to a shower for Emilie. There were a lot of pregnant women there! I think I speak for everyone when I say there was major disappointment that the cake didn't say Kevina. See, K-daddy has called every baby in the family Kevina in the hopes he gets a baby named after him. It's probably the worst name, ever.

I like to caption this picture: Totally! That's just what I hear K-daddy say every time I look at it. I think I also hear a sigh of relief from Em that he shaved his nastiness off. Check out this pic from Mom's birthday - how ashamed is Em that she doesn't want to be in the picture?!? Can you blame her? Would you blame her? No.

Saturday night Ry & I hit Westport - going to McCoys for a late dinner - you must eat their skillet dip, omg, so damn good. Then Harry's for a smoke and a pancake. A cigar and a waffle. Ok, or maybe just a drink and a cigar. It was pretty cool, really high ceilings with a tin roof, neat bar. I'd recommend checking it out.

This week and next week are going to be pretty busy with me at work, so the blog is going to suck. Just being honest.

Oh, and Ry's sister is having a baby tomorrow! I'm pretty pumped, this baby is the official start of baby season for me, followed soon by my sister & sister in law, coworker, and a friend. Jeesh!

really just sad

K-did just sent this to me. I think it was because of Toooom Cruise!

100 bits

I'm the last blogger on the planet to do a list of 100 things about me. Here goes.

1) I'm the youngest of 5 kids.

2) I don't like baseball or apple pie.

3) I've never eaten a Peep, I only throw them at people.

4) I have very large lips/mouth. A kid in junior high called me nigger lips.

5) I've been streaking.

6) I've been busted for streaking.

7) I have buyers remorse. Over purses on clearance for $4.99.

8) I wonder what I would do with my time if I was a heiress. Would I waste it a la Paris?

9) I've convinced myself that there is no way there will ever be an intruder in my apartment. As long as I turn on the kitchen light before the door shuts behind me.

10) I'm scared for the night I don't get the light before the door shuts.

11) I look like my momma.

12) As much as I tell myself that you shouldn't/can't regret things, I regret so much.

13) I've never been to a Six Flags.

14) I hate the smell of ketchup and milk on my skin, clothing, or spilled anywhere.

15) Milk, in my opinion, is bad after you leave it out of the fridge for more than 45 seconds - with the exception of the ride from the store home, which could be more than 15 minutes with no problems.

16) I found porno in the house of some people I babysat in high school. They never asked me back. I've always wondered if that was why.

17) I was terrified of ruining things when I was younger to the point that I would outgrow clothing before wearing it more than once or twice.

18) I was also a pack rat. To a disgusting point. I was afraid of throwing anything away. What if I needed it later?

19) It's taken me years to get over that.

20) I worry that I've become so lazy at my current job that I won't ever be able to recover professionally.

21) I really love reading. A lot.

22) I cried in my high school library as I read the last pages of Roots.

23) When I was younger I was oddly obsessed with the Holocaust. I used to have dreams that Nazi-ish figures were coming to our farm to get me/us.

24) I'm afraid my parents will die before we get all of their stories out of them.

25) Sometimes I get angry that I'm the youngest and that my parents could die (just like anyone) and I wouldn't get the experiences with them my siblings have had.

26) If I can get ahold of someone or they are "missing" for a short period of time, my mind will quickly race through what may have happened to them from the start of the car crash (or whatever) all the way through the funeral.

27) Ok, so I'm a little obsessed with death maybe?

28) I had a dream the day that my aunt died - it was just me & Dad, walking around our farm and up to the small Catholic church we went to growing up, then the cemetery where his parents are buried. At the cemetery he explained to me that Luci had died and it was ok. I was so freaked out I didn't go to school that morning, and I was home when Jim called to say Luci died.

29) I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that that dream was not random, that it was God interceding somehow.

30) I think that if my siblings have enough kids that I won't need to have any. I can grow old & rich & selfishly travel/shop/sleep as I wish!

31) I'm a really bad driver.

32) I like to stalk people online. Isn't that the point of the interweb?

33) I like Freeto chili pies. A lot.

34) Mini corn dogs are also the shit.

35) I don't like soft-serve ice cream.

36) In high school I worked at an ice cream joint for 3 weeks. I would make ice cream cones, dip them in chocolate, eat the chocolate, dip them in chocolate, eat the chocolate, and so on until I was over the cone, then I would throw it away.

37) I can't keep it straight - all of the sudden, all of a sudden? All I know is I always say the wrong one.

38) I also can't remember how to say scores/records - like if a team has won twice and lost once 1-2, 2-1??

39) I can burp on command. And loud too.

40) I can burp the alphabet.

41) And... I burped the alphabet during a staff meeting when I was an RA at K-State.

42) I love reality tv.

43) I thought this would be super easy - its taken a few days and I'm not half-through.

44) Breakfast is a luxury in my opinion - think about it, most people don't get to relax and eat breakfast, you're always going somewhere.

45) I like Mexican religious folk art.

46) I read PostSecret every Monday morning, and it usually makes the morning better.

47) I suck at drawing stuff, even little stick figures.

48) I suck so bad a drawing that I was the only person my high school art teacher allowed to use a projector so I could trace an outline before doing a painting.

49) But I'm really not that bad at painting. Strange.

50) I'm pretty sure I have no clue what's really going on in the world.

51) I can flare my nose on command.

52) I can also flex my boobs.

53) I think I want a tattoo.

54) I never want a tattoo.

55) When given the opportunity (time, a person who will enable it) I can be ridiculously indecisive.

56) If I could read your e-mail/diary/passed notes from high school, I totally would.

57) I like wedding cake.

58) I don't like mixed nuts.

59) I was Atchison's Person of the Week for saving my brother's life one time.

60) I read my sister's diary when I was little and found out my uncle was gay.

61) Then I told my brothers.

62) I don't have a favorite color.

63) I look at travel deals and specials at least once a week wishing Ry & I could just leave randomly again.

64) Then I remember he doesn't have a passport and I don't have money. And I get angry.

65) I drunk-dialed Ry's Dad the day that I met him.

66) I'm proud that I traveled alone for two weeks in Italy.

67) I finally realized that shorts look nasty on me, and most women, and aren't really that comfortable.

68) I don't wear shorts anymore in the summer. Skirts & dresses only, thank you!

69) I like to pick stuff up with my toes.

70) I own 2 DVDs.

71) I don't hide dislike well. Or really at all.

72) I like pronouncing vagina with a B. Ba-gina.

73) Ry is being mean to me right now.

74) And... I'm over it!

75) My front two teeth are fake.

76) When the made my teeth, they made a tiny gap - now I can spray water out of my teeth in a straight stream up to 3 feet away. It's awesome.

77) I feel pressure to blog. And make it funny.

78) I think it's going to take more time to make all the links in the list than actually writing it.

79) In third grade I took a coin to school that I stole from my brothers. One side had a woman with bare breasts, the other had a bum. I showed it to my friends at recess. One of the boys told me to give it to him or he would tell on me. I told the teacher I needed to go inside, when she asked why I didn't make up a lie and she made me show her what I wanted to put away. I showed her and got detention. She took the coin, but I don't think she told my parents.

80) I don't think I've ever told anyone that story.

81) I love really large rings.

82) I pop my first knuckle of both pinkies as I walk around.

83) I also pop my pinkie toes.

84) I'm an even worse singer than I thought I was.

85) I hate outies. They creep me out.

86) Willie the Wildcat spoke to me one time.

87) Which oddly enough made my ex-boyfriend really jealous and mad at me.

88) And we still didn't break up for other year or so...

89) The first movie I cried to was My Girl.

90) I don't like martinis but I wish I did.

91) I hate my handwriting.

92) I don't know my times-tables and I blame this on my parents. They never made me do my homework! I wasn't going to quiz myself in 3rd grade!

93) I just found the card that was on my crib at the hospital. I was 9 lbs 11 ounces when I was born. I was such a fatty.

94) And I was born at 4:54 a.m. I think that's why I still don't like mornings.

95) I have a blue/green birthmark on my back right shoulder.

96) My high school boyfriend is the reason I lost my front two teeth.

97) I can't drive through the Flint Hills without wondering how the pioneers did it.

98) I've read all the Little House on the Prairie books, even when Laura was married & old.

99) I feel surprised driving a car that I don't have to worry will overheat/die/explode.

100) I feel like number 100 should be something really significant.

I may look that cheap, but I swear I'm not

A girl I work with just stopped by my cube an initiated this awkwardness -
Hey Erin, how's it going?
Good.
I like your ring.
Thanks.
Did you get it out of a vending machine?
-blank stare- No.
Well, this is awkward now.
Yes, it is.

And Toooommm Cruise!

I had been disdainfully ignoring the posts on bestweekever.tv about Planet Unicorn. Can you blame me?? I mean, sure, they look like My Little Pony, but I wasn't motivated enough by that to actually watch an episode. Anywho, I just decided to and less than 10 seconds into the clip I had to pause the video to share it with you. Seriously. I gotta hurry up & go finish watching it now. So do you. And if you haven't started watching Acceptable TV, you need to get on it.

Seriously? You can't do that!

I got a parking ticket in the mail.

From K-State.

From January.

Of 2005!

WTF? I don't know what I was doing in January of 2005! How shitty. And seriously, two plus years to send me something??

Peep this

I know I post a ton of stuff here from PopCandy, but I couldn't not share this peep-tastic link.

Try it and find out.

We had a surprise birthday dinner for my mom's 60th birthday Saturday night at the Copa Room. It was a lot of fun, even though the staff was totally overwhelmed by the large group and we ended up eat at 10:30 with an 8:00 reservation. Eh, whateva.

Funniest part - a bus boy was clearly updated for that night only to semi-server. He had some really winning moments - like when he brought a plate out and said, "I think it's a steak?" They titled the plate so the table could see what was very clearly a steak.

Later he brought out a bowl of "sauce" for the cheesecake we had for Momma. I asked him what kinda of "sauce" it was and he said, "I dunno, try it and find out," while shrugging his shoulders. It was hilarious! Who the hell brings food out to a table and says, I don't know what it is, try it and find out? So random!

Of course I called him out on it and told him next time he needed to stick his finger in it and try it if he had to so he knew what he was serving. K-daddy reminded him to do it before serving it. I think I may have also called him the mystery server....

It was good times though. Funny as hell cheesetastic singer too. Great food. Excellent time. Happy Birthday Momma!

Timecard Troubles

I'm going to struggle to figure out what to bill these items to later on my time card...

30 minutes - Designed and implemented plans to throw and launch Peeps at coworkers. Utilized Nerf sling shot and large rubber bands to launch Peeps. Also threw Peeps by hand, followed by strategic get aways. Mailed Peep to coworker anonymously via interoffice mail. Convinced coworker it was someone else.

25 minutes - Rearranged coworkers desk to appear on Monday that he will be sharing with new hire. Arrangements included: clearing half the desk, adding second computer, chair, mouse pad, monitor, name plate. Put announcement of new person in newsletter. Named new person "Shawn", who will be sharing with desk with Sean. Put in newsletter that Shawn & Sean will be working "hand in hand" on upcoming projects.

Ewww, no thanks!

I got invited to a Passions party.
By coworkers.

ewwwwwwwww!!!!

There were at least 5 coworkers on the invite list. Sick.

Another reason I love PopCandy

This made me smile. Who would you marry, boff or kill?

Royally sucked

So I didn't go to the Royals game when it was 80+ degrees out. Oh, no, that would be too ideal. I had to go last night, when it was -80 degrees out.

While at the game I learned that I'm no good at dressing myself for weather. I've always struggled with what 55 degrees versus 65 degrees means for my wardrobe. I can never remember how cold or hot it is between 35-65 degrees. Melinda & I decided that from now on she should send me an email every day with a picture of a paperdoll Erin that is dressed appropriately for that days forecast. Brilliant!

Peeeeep

I bought some Peeps today.
It made me happy.

I think I'm going to start leaving them random places around work - other people's desks, computers, elevators, etc. The great thing is that when you rip them & expose the marshmallow insides they become pretty much the same as liquid nails.

I've got to leave some out so they get nice & hard so that I can throw them at Seany this weekend. I've never actually eaten a Peep, just thrown them at people on Easter.

The most depressing thing in the world.

Birth Control

I went to see Jack & Gracie this weekend (oh, and Pat & Ang). It was pretty fun, especially the lunch-time meltdown. I'm pretty sure Pat intentionally made it so I was sitting on one side of the booth with both the kids, while Pat, Ang & Mom were on the other side laughing at me. You see, they are really good kids, but Jack is the busiest person I've ever met in my life. Seriously. Busybusybusy. We are lucky to have any pictures of him, he's in constant movement.

Anyway, here's some time lapse photography of my meltdown. I think I may have just told the kids "stop touching me!"Jack! No! Not your drink....again!Jack really has no sympathy for me. I'm too worried about what is going to get spilled next to enjoy this moment.Yeah, I was actually fighting her for dessert. Or just stealing her bite. Whateva. A brief moment of happiness as I eat some fried ice cream. Here I am, almost crying. Make it stop.In the end, Gracie makes it all better. Pat and Grace both had to try on my sunglasses. Here's Grace when I asked her for a big smile.

Thanks Girls!

Mush & Caroline made me some sweet cupcakes (they said Happy Birthday, and maybe an Erin?) for my birthday - and gave me a Lisa Frank notepad! Who doesn't love that?!?