Vegas View

Here's the view from my room. Of course I didn't take it during the day, so it's crappy & doesn't show the mountain. This is facing the strip. I like how me/the camera look superimposed.

Travel... gotta love it.

I hate and love traveling at the same time. You're bound to meet crazy, annoying and ridiculous people, which is part of the reason I love it! Carm & I had fun with our airline experience from the start. On the shuttle bus from KCI parking the cell phone of the guy sitting across from us went off. But it was... quacking. Carmen asked him what it was saying. He told us it was a turkey call. Pretty sweet. Then I realized that the totally bizarre long, metal box he had must have guns.
He confirmed that with his southern drawl accent.
So I asked him where he was going.
South Tex-as, he replied.
I asked him, What are you going to kill?
Hogs.
Hogs?
Hogs. Wild Hogs.

I realize this little exchange may seem lame, but the combo of his accent, cell phone ringer, and what he was going to kill was priceless.

Once boarded next to the bachelor party, of course, we realized there was also a... tranny next to us. Case in point:

I think the most exciting part of the trip so far though has been seeing our hotel! Prince! Yeah! Too bad his shows are Friday & Saturday night... I'll be gone. :(
Look forward to many, many, many more Prince pics to come.

Oh, and we have no clue where/when/what is going on with this conference we're here for... yikes... I should check on that!

And I decided to keep a gambling tab.
So far money gambled: $0 Money won: $0 Yessss!

Told you!

I totally have a bruise on my shin from the damn skates! So... this picture may not be the best, but I promise it's there! I think it's the darker spot at the bottom left. P.S. - I leave for Vegas today!! Woohoo! Vegas Baby!

Checkmate!

How to pay a bill when you are pissed (and mathematically inclined):

Best part, the Memo. Fo' sho.
Thanks Erin!

A Grey Day

I washed some black pants with a fuzzy grey sweater which means today I have little grey fuzz balls sprouting up all over my pants, especially from my legs hitting each other when I walk. (because, yes, they do that)

Damn.

Christina in KC!

While I was getting married by a four-year-old... Christina was partying in KC!

P.S. How much does it suck to be wearing that dumb hat for your picture with Christina??

Vegas Baby!

So I'm going to Vegas for work this week, but the real news is that I already got married this weekend. Here's the announcement:

The ceremony was officiated by Caroline, who also served as flower girl. The bride walked down the short, red, crayon-colored, paper isle alone, carrying a modest bouquet of paper flowers. The bride wore a teal t-shirt by the Gap, jeans by the Gap, socks by Target, and a paper veil by Caroline's nanny. The Bride's cousins, sister, and uncle were in attendance. Photos by Shell. Following the ceremony was another wedding or two by Caroline.

Why couldn't it have been Lawrence??

I totally would have come to terms with my body, found peace, and gotten some sweet pictures if this would have happened in Lawrence! Dang it!

No Surprise, Really

I found out, or perhaps just confirmed, on Friday that I am horrible at ice skating. I blame this on a few items:

1) Lack of balance

2) Lack of coordination - I fall all the time as is, I don't need ice to help

3) I swear my left blade was crooked on my skate

4) Ice skates are actually more uncomfortable than roller skates. I don't know how that is possible.

I tried to take pictures that night, but most of them didn't turn out because either I'm falling as taking the picture so it's blurry, or I'm falling as a picture of me is being taken. Damn!

I was really hoping that Ben would keep his pants rolled up like this. Ben has skillz. With a z. After I saw Ben & Tamara pull this off, I thought Ry & I could do the same. Turns out Ry could...And then I tried to do it alone...that was the first time I fell... in front of the camera. Action shot! I try again to pose. And by pose I mean not fall. I finally stick it! I'm like freakin' Nancy Kerrigan. After she got whacked by Tonya. Our handsome skating crew. I also found out Friday that Ry is a skating fiend. He skated backwards too, but I'm not going to even act like I would have been able to get a shot of that. I'm lucky I didn't break my camera out on the ice. I think it's safe to say Ry brought SexyBack to figure skating. And I helped!

Yeah, yeah, yeah

So I'm sure you're getting sick of Britney, but I promise this is short and kinda funny. I won't promise more than kinda.

Transcending and crap

Best Week Ever has come through again with the best Buddha ever. Britney Buddha. Buddha Britney. It's the best.

One of my favorite things

I love these websites that use celebrities calling/emailing personalized messages for promotions. I've given/received calls from Tyra, Samuel L. Jackson, Britney Spears, Alec Baldwin, and now... Fabio! Yes! I love it.

DVR Stress

DVR is a great thing. I love it. I tell other people about how great it is, how I never watch commericals anymore, blar blar blar.

But... there's a dark side to DVRing. And no one is talking about it. I'm here to blow the lid off of this, this... disease that I assume is affecting thousands of others.

I'm chained to my DVR. It's like a OCD with a dash of agoraphobia. I must watch my shows, to the point I'm worried about leaving the house.

No, I can't go on a free trip to Europe with you! I'll run out of space on my DVR! When will I have time to watch the marathon of The Real Housewives of Orange County?? Ahhhh!!! When will Slade finally ditch Joe??

The panic is already setting in.

You see, when you don't have a DVR you may have to sit through commercials and miss a great episode or two of you favorite shows once in a while, but eh? What are you going to do? You want to catch up on America's Next Top Model, but VH1 starts showing it at 1 a.m.? <> Guess you're going to bed.

Got DVR and want to watch it? No problem! Just hit record and go to bed! You can watch it whenever you want! Saved by the Bell is on every day for two hours? YES! I'm sure I missed one or two episodes somewhere along the line... I can catch up!

That's exactly the problem - now all the shows that I wanted to watch but wasn't willing to memorize a tv guide for/rearrange my schedule/perhaps have already seen, are within reach.

Now.... I can watch shows I didn't even want to watch before! Two hour episode of 24? No prob! I got DVR! Jericho sucked, but we already had the season set to DVR it, so Ry and I kept watching it.

You can see where this is going. My DVR is stressing me out. I've had Cold Mountain recorded for weeks now, telling myself that I need to get up early on Saturday to watch it so it won't interrupt the rest of my weekend.

I realized it had gone to far when I started staying up later and later each night to get my shows watched. It was more like a checklist of to-do's than relaxing.

I need DVR/TV rehab.

But we know I wouldn't last.

I can't fight it!

Finally! Answers to those burning questions..

I really, really love this guy...

I found this on Perez!

Shake ya Ash

It's Ash Wednesday.
Today I had bacon & eggs and a turkey pita. What a great way to start Lent.

I'm gonna get all ashy tonight to make up for it.

Or at least say so in case Mom is reading this.

It's ridonkulous

How many times I've had to update this blog!

Sorry....

Correction

I found the real picture that I took while telling Ry to "act like you like me." I thought I remembered it being this pathetic. :)

Soul power.... No you ain't got no soul power

And not just because your some faggy girl, more like because you got home late from a concert last night!

So, last night, Of Montreal, awesome. It was a fabulous show, except for not playing Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse, it was perfect. I was bumming pretty hard on not hearing Kevin Barnes singing, "Chemicals... Chem-i-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cals!" At least I still have Shell to sing it to me.

It was a night of strange bathroom incidents. First, Ry & I stopped by the coffee shop Shell had been in early that night to see if she was still there - we didn't see her, chatted for a minute, then Ry went to the restroom while I tried calling her. Then I heard a woman say to the barista, "Do you think that was just an elaborate bathroom ruse?"

Wha?

It was neither elaborate nor a ruse.

Then I went to the ladies with Melinda once we were in the Granada. It was... disgusting. I went to the last stall that happened to not have a door. Melinda was standing guard for me when a guy walked in, and stood there staring at me as I undid my pants. I was like, what the hell are you doing? You don't get to see anything! Out!
A girl in another stall replied, oh, don't worry... he's gay.

Uhhh, so what? You still don't get to come into the ladies and peep at my va-jay-jay!

So he left.
It was bizarre.

Here are some pics.
This would be before the concert. I like to tell Ry before pictures - act like you like me! I'm not sure that worked... (Update: see Correction blog, it's actually a different picture..)
Melinda and Andy. Good work. :) Not my hairy hand. Ry took care of getting me some drinks. I'm going to go ahead and post this horrible picture of me because I think it's funny how wasted I look. Now I know why Melinda enjoyed taking that picture so much! It's seriously one of the worst pictures of me. Ever. Stay Classy Lawrence!

Of Montreal had a crazy Japanese band (can't remember their name now.. I'll update later - Update - Ry reminded me their name was Elektribass or something like that, but I can't find them online! Update 2 - How many damn times do I have to update this post?? Anywho, in case you don't read the comments, Andy found Elekibass! Thanks!) open for them. So of course for these pictures the inspiration I gave people was, act Japanese! Ry is scary Japanese. I'm ugly Japanese. Melinda and Andy pulled it off. Excited Japanese.
And... I couldn't resist, although I'm guilty of just making fun of people who do the same thing, I had to attempt to get some shots of the show.

This was awesome - Kevin Barnes was singing from the top of a ladder draped to look like a dress. Fabulous.

I heart pink wings. Kevin's first outfit - gotta love a man with 3+ costume changes, one that included fishnets with purple sparkly hot pants!

The show was obviously a great time, but, the BEST part of the night, hands down - Shell's baby startling me by kicking me (for the first time!) so suddenly and hard that I jumped. It was awesome. It was pretty cool to be able to rock out with my big sista. Love it.

This is my job

A guy I work with made an org chart.
Then he printed it out.
Then he marked it up.
Then he gave it to me.
To make the two changes.
That he marked up.
In the file he made.

Almost like the time I e-mailed docs to another office, a guy printed them off, marked them up with pen, scanned them in, and e-mailed them to me to make the changes. 'Cause any of that makes sense.

Mizzap - taking off!

I didn't even know that my mizzap had totally taken off, until I accused Momma of not reading the blog (she accused me of not blogging about her) and informed me that she was on the map! She even left me this: Hi Erinny!

I love it.

Upon further review of the map, I've determined that my L.A. reader must be Britney. Hopefully I'm getting through, although all evidence points to the contrary.

Anywho, if you haven't yet, mark yourself on my map!

(too bad I don't really know what I'm doing with this map... it's kinda confusing me... but whatevies. Go with it.)

Jitttttery

Massive ammounts of coffee (see, I can't even type)+ Of Montreal concert tonight + listening to OM now = supersupersupersuper excitement and lots of jittery leg tapping, and possible drug testing at work for erratic behavior!

Mushie!

We celebrated Maureen's second birthday this weekend. The kid is so dang adorable. It was so funny - we were all singing happy birthday to her when she was suddenly overwhelmed and started yelling, "stop it!!" You should have heard the awkward trailing, "happy..... birth....day?"

Here's the awesomely huge cake. Shell is so good at the birthday cakes. Love how huge it looks/how tiny Mush looks next to it.

Since Dad specifically said that he didn't want his picture online of him wearing a pink hat... well, here it is!

Hey Momma!

After her first bite, Maureen declared the cake, "de-licious!"

Caroline was such a good big sister - here helping her open presents. I love how Caroline has this sweet little excited smile.

The Green Machine

The Ry Guy has done a little Ebay shopping for a suit to wear to an upcoming wedding. On March 17th. Otherwise known as... well, actually just take a look at what he found so far, you'll get the picture.

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

Good Question...

From: Ryan
To: me
11:09 am (0 minutes ago)

Do you think I could put 2006 Time Person of the Year on my resume?

Hang on Brit!

I had a dream last night that Britney & I had a chat. I think I really got through to her. There's hope!

I'll be in Vegas next week, perhaps this dream was just prepping me for a Vegas meeting?? We'll see...

PINEAPPLE!

It's slow at first, but then really picks up. It's good on a Monday.

Can't focus

How can anyone expect me to focus when I'm busy waiting to see what happens next to Brit?? Come on! She's flipping out in front of the world! Where is her momma?

Science-shmience

K-Did sent me a link to a science club, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) I'm only eligible for these two badges.

Snow Snow Snow

A winter weather advisory explanation:
A SNOW AND BLOWING SNOW ADVISORY MEANS THAT VISIBILITIES WILL BE LIMITED DUE TO A COMBINATION OF FALLING AND BLOWING SNOW. USE CAUTION WHEN TRAVELING...ESPECIALLY IN OPEN AREAS.

Open areas? wha? Plus I love their use of the ellipsis... such added mystery and suspense to the weather!

Not allowed

So I went to the salon last week and I discovered something. Up-selling at a salon is not allowed. Period. Exclamation point. End of story.

Well, actually beginning of story.

While I was chatting with the lady at the salon she would randomly stop what she was doing and explain to me that she had, "just the thing to clear up your skin," and, "oh, just let those eyebrows grow out and let me fix them. You don't want them too spread apart, you'll look like a fetal alcohol syndrome baby."

Really?

Sooooo, I'm totally zitty and have bad eyebrows that are on the verge of making me appear to have a birth defect???

I immediately feel sheepish, saying how the winter has been hard on my skin, blar blar... yeah...
AWKWARD!

I had no excuse for the eyebrows. I may have muttered something about how tweasing becomes addictive (true). Whatevies.

So here's the deal - I understand that my waiter may try to up-sell me on the desserts, appetizers, etc. You're also allowed to up-sell me if you are, for example a car salesperson, leather, sunroof, etc.

You're not allowed to up sell me in a salon. You aren't allowed to pressure me into buying more stuff/services by convincing me I'm in bad condition.

Actually, I think it was even worse because she gave me samples of face wash, indicating I looked so horrid that she had genuine concern and pity for my looks.

Damn.

Hung up.

So my Momma called me last night crying.

And I hung up on her.

You would have done the same though, she was trying to give out spoilers to Grey's Anatomy!!! I had just finished The Office and was getting ready to move right along in my DVR selections to Grey's when she called.

I really had no choice.

It was damned good too.

I don't know the last time I cringed so much during TV shows - first the bat on the Office - omg, the scene at the end with Meredith... ugh... I puked a little in my mouth. The on Greys... the drill... need I say more???

Yes!

Last night the Ry Guy gave me a dozen roses and... the Lily Allen CD! YES!

The roses were so huge a self portrait with them was quite difficult. We also went to dinner at Acurso's. So yummy! No matter what you want, just make sure it has the diavlo sauce on it!