Gotta keep workin' on my fitness!

So Shell is going with her fam on a little vacation. I would call it a babymoon, but that's too lame sounding, even though that is what it really is considering she's like 5-6 months pregnant.

Anywho, so I have a message on my cellie (I like throwing cellie out there every once in a while) from her last night saying something along the lines of this:

Hey Erin! I wanted to know if I could borrow a bag for our trip. I also wanted to know... if I could borrow your swim suit. I bought a maternity one but it's ugly and mine just don't fit . No offense!

WHAT? This is getting out of hand. My big sister only borrows my clothes when she's pregnant! What kind of blow to the ego is that?

You know, I could deal with lending her my cheap-o elastic waist skirts, shrugging it off like, oh I'm tall and they're elastic, so it doesn't matter.

Then there was the time that she was 9+ months (seriously, delivered like 2 weeks after this happened) and tried on the dress I was wearing to K-Daddy's wedding. And it fit. And it looked good. She helped me shrug that one off by telling me it was just the cut of the dress.

But this? Swimwear? Seriously? That's like the real deal. That isn't an empire waist and flowing skirt, that's not just an elastic band, that's my pregnant sister wearing my skimpy suit.

So I called Pat last night (really trying to call Ang) for some sympathy - but here's what I got -

Ridiculous amount of laughter followed by this question: Erin, can I borrow your shoes??

Then I believe I said something about not being proportionate and he replied something about me being enormous. That is why you don't call brothers to commiserate.

It is pretty funny though... I can only share shoes & clothing with my pregnant sister and my big brothers.

Here's your sign

I saw two signs this weekend that were photo-worthy. At least, at the time they were.

I really don't get this bumper sticker. Isn't been there, done that, usually referring to something cool? Or something that was cool in 1998? I'm sure this is some lame reference to the war in Iraq, but isn't this kinda like saying, Uhh, Bush, 1991 called and wants its war back!

It says Vietnam Been There... Done That

This door mat really speaks for itself. If I had a house, or cared enough to spend money on K-Daddy (oh, coulda been the b-day gift!), I would have bought it. It's not quite up there with, "Slatterys - Where the women are strong, the men are good looking, and all the children are above average" but really, it's close.

I should probably make it clear that I don't really know what the whole "here's your sign" crap is about, and I don't really want to know because that involves me watching that guy on Comedy Central act like he's a redneck when 10 years ago he didn't even have an accent in his routine. Oh wait, that was Larry the Cable Guy.

Ew.

Funny how he went from this:

To this:

weekendness

UPDATE - I finally added the pictures that I know you've been missing sleep over. Like this on of Ethan pointing at something that was funny enough for a picture then, but stupid now. I'm pretty sure it had something to do with his lack of a sense of direction and ridiculous amount of confidence that he was pointing South. Sorry Bud. Totally wrong.

I'm annoyed that I forgot my camera cord & can't make my weekend seem like it was amazing with the help of my fabulous photos. - Clearly not working -

Oh well - I'll make a go of it.

Friday the Ry Guy and I hit up the Point for Power Hour (all you can drink 7-9 for $10) after working out and before drinking water or eating. Probably not the best idea ever... It was great fun though - played some shuffleboard and jinga with bar revelers. I personally stopped this puck (is that correct terminology?) from going over by some extremely intense blowing. There was a fun group of people there playing an array of games - Sorry, Jinga, Shoots & Ladders - it was a freakin' great idea. I'm stealing it.

Saturday we went to see The Departed. OMG. So good! I think it should win the Oscar for best use of profanity.

The dialogue between Alec Baldwin & Marky Mark was pretty much the funniest thing, well, ever.

Here's a great exchange:
Ellerby: Go fuck yourself.
Dignam: I'm tired from fucking your wife.
Ellerby: How is your mother?
Dignam: Good, she's tired from fucking my father

If you couldn't handle that little bit, you probably should steer clear of the movie.
It kinda made me want to move to Boston and become really hard-core, maybe get into some organized crime or the police force. No biggie.

Sunday we ended up making a last-minute trip to Clay Center, what-what! (I like to spice things up with an occasional what-what) While the reason for the trip was unfortunate - Ry Guy's Gma is ill - we had a good time. Especially having dinner at Twister. Twister is just like any other small town ice cream/hamburger joint, but the Ry Guy's dad was reallllly excited to go. Good times.

And, you should be proud to know that I actually got up before 7:15 this morning! I went and worked out at 6 (15)! I'm still in shock at both getting up so early and working out, so I can't really fill you in on any more details beyond that.

Oh what a night!

Last night was... crazy. Bad. Awkward. Scary. Fun.
All of the above.

It started out great, went home, cleaned up the apartment, went to dinner with my friend Emily - had a great time. Then I came home and chatted it up with Shell for a while. She had some blog-worthy stories. I invited her to do a guest blog to help get it all out, we'll see...

Anywho, it was about 9:30 and I was tired. I just wanted to watch some Heroes and awesomely-lame MTV shows, then go to bed. Then the Ry Guy called. I was so tired and pouty that I immediately said, what! What do you want? I'm tired, I don't want to talk on the phone! I just want to sleeeeeep. (with an extreme pout) Ry was like, oh... uh...
So I say, what? What's going on? - in probably the most annoyed/patronizing voice ever.

Well, he said, my grandma died.

Damn it!

I have some really freakin' bad timing! How self-centered can I get?

So I went over to hang out with him - got to his house a little before 10 and decided to stay there with the intention of getting up early to work on my fitness again.

Then 3 a.m. happened.

That would be the hour that his f'ing crazy-ass downstairs neighbor started pounding so hard on the door (their door which is outside Ry's bedroom window) and screaming so loud that my first thought was seriously that the house was on fire. Then I remembered that they are crazy. These are the same people that lit fireworks not at 9, 10, or 11p.m., but at 3 in the morning with their four-year-old kid!!! There's a lot of screaming and crying that comes from them at random times, day and night, weekday and weekend. Apparently there's no schedule, work or otherwise, that they follow.

Anywho, this dra-ma went on for over an hour. She was screaming so loudly and so hysterically that neighbors rushed out (not us, we know that bitch is crazy) to help her. Her boyfriend finally let her inside the house, at which time Ry & I had the special treat of listening to her crying/screaming/throwing stuff. Every time we got ready to call the cops it would stop, then start up again. Finally her boyfriend drove off in their car, which led to her running outside & chasing him screaming again.

Then the cops showed up.

All 6 of them.

Of course she wouldn't open the door for them, so there were flashlights everywhere, more pounding on doors, etc.

The worst part of all of this is the kid. Where was he? We told the cops that we were worried about the kid, but never heard anything out of him. Poor kid.

The dreams you have after getting ripped out of sleep at 3 a.m., followed by an hour of screaming, crying and cops are... well, interesting to say the least.

Quote of the Day

"It's as simple as a pimple." - Vanilla Ice Ice Baby.

Calling in to work out of shape

I think I burnt too many calories last night working out - I almost called in to work out of shape this morning.

Maybe I should just run to McD's to get a calorie boost. I'm so tired! Obviously I worked on my fitness tooooo much.

Best Real World Quote... ever!

I paused the Real World just to share this little gem.

"I'm living in the present. And I'm not gonna stop myself from doing anything that my heart feels like doing... or my vagina feels like doing." - Collie

I love reality tv.

He's my witness..

Here's the Southpark version of my working on my fitness. You're my witness. (I can't stop quoting Fergie when it comes to working out)

You can make your own Southpark self here. Thanks to PT for passing it along.

sore-ish

Last night I did it.

I worked out.

It was good, even though the Ry Guy did make me run the 3.5 blocks to the gym instead of driving.

I'm a wee bit sore, but not bad - guess that means I'm going back tonight!

Best part - playing ping-pong with the Ry Guy after we were done working on our fitness.

Just workin' on my Fitness

So right before the new year I went shopping one day and bought:
-running shoes
-running shorts
-capri yoga pants
-athletic socks (meaning no hearts, trees, or other designs that populate the rest of my socks)

A couple of days later, I pulled those lovely purchases out of the trunk of my car and tried them all on. At the same time. (ok, so maybe not the shorts with the capris, but that would have been a much better story)

After a few truly inspired dance moves (from watching the Girls Next Door episode when they make the work out vid, natch!), I plopped back down on the couch.



The Ry Guy pretty much busted out laughing at this. Apparently he thought that I was actually planning on working out in my new work out clothes. Whatever.

I had to explain that this was a process, and I had to make sure everything fit properly before exposing myself to a potentially horrendous injury from poorly fitting socks or malfunctioning yoga pants.

So that was.... a few weeks ago.

Last night the Ry Guy and I joined a gym.
(I know, a couple membership, sounds totally serious. Until you look at their website.)

Don't worry though, we didn't actually sweat or anything. We had planned on going Monday night, but having too much fun over my food kept us from enrolling. Anything to put it off another day!

When I was talking to Ry about what time we were going over I asked if I should bring clothes to work out that night as well. I have never seen such an look of repulsion. His face basically read, "Are you serious? Work out?"

Then he explained to me that since we were signing up and paying that he had to have something to carry his card in, so he had to have his wallet, so he had to wear jeans.

Duh!
How could I not have figured that out on my own?

Then he explained that he didn't feel obligated to work out the day he signed up.

I was secretly glad - no one wants to be the new kid, and nothing would make it more obvious than signing up, getting the tour, and awkwardly stumbling around the equipment. At least now I have a chance to slip in, hopefully unnoticed, by the gym-faithful.

I'm a little worried about how successful I am going to be in this whole adventure.

Ri-Donk-U-Lous

I found this video via Perezhilton.com - he had it under the well-named heading "Isaiah Washington's Theme Song"

It's horrible because the people who made it were serious, but hilarious because they are also idiots with fabulous lyrics such as "to enter heaven, there's no backdoor."

I think I just peed a little.

See food

Last night I met Shell & the Superfan (the Ry Guy named her that) out for dinner at Blue Koi. As soon as I got there I thought, dang it! I forgot my camera, and I always have my camera! Then realized, uhh, doesn't matter, what the hell am I going to take a picture of? My food? I don't have a foodie blog, so eh, whatevies.

But... then my food came out. And I immediately wished I had a camera. Here's an artist's rendering of my food from last night.

Here's what I saw when I looked at my food.

I didn't order very well. Not only was I distracted by my food's eyes, but I also got bored with it really quickly (Garlic Ginger Chicken or something). Thankfully Shell's soup was enough for a small country and she shared!

Wedding Mania

The Ry Guy and I were at another wedding this weekend - this time in Lawrence. A great time was had by all. Here are some highlights -

Ry & I decided that this was the night to photograph just how entertaining we are - you can imagine how awesome we looked holding these posing while waiting for the flash.

From Ben & Tamara'...

From Ben & Tamara'...

There was some crazy dancing as well...

From Ben & Tamara'...

I loved it when the groom & his brothers pulled this choreographed move -

From Ben & Tamara'...

As the party started to wind down, the Ry Guy heard that at 11:30 when the reception was over the kegs would be taken. He got to work pretty quickly.

From Ben & Tamara'...

The bride & groom are pretty funny - this is the pose I got when I told them I was trying to take a candid picture.

From Ben & Tamara'...

The end of the night, combined with all the parents/adults gone led to this:

From Ben & Tamara'...

The Ry Guy & I both took some really great pictures with the bride.

From Ben & Tamara'...

From Ben & Tamara'...

Brian and I chose the wrong song to bring SexyBack to. We ended up doing a ridiculous dance that included the whole fake fishing move thing and swimming to & from each other - for about 5 minutes. Yikes!

From Ben & Tamara'...

Stay classy Lawrence!

From Ben & Tamara'...

This is why

I love Of Montreal. Sweetness. In Lawrence in February, I can't wait!

Love thy neighbor

My Mom takes the whole giving a cup of sugar to the neighbor thing a bit too far. You see, my parents live in a duplex that they own and live in one part. They rent the other half out. Usually the renters are...characters. After all, it is A-town.

Anywho, the best part is that somehow (read: Dad tells renters it's ok without telling Mom) the renters all end up being totally awkward - like doing their laundry in M&D's house, using their phone, etc. Makes for a really weird situation for Mom, like the time she came home and some guy was waiting for his laundry... yeah... thanks for the heads up on that one Mike!

So it gets even better - Mom never actually knows who these people are - she never knows their names! So here are these random-ass people coming in and out of her house, using her phone and laundry, and she doesn't even know their name!

Two great examples of this -
A couple of years ago when I went home for Easter was the first time that I found out about these mystery neighbors and that Mom didn't know their names. Mom was talking about their neighbor Sean, I thought that my bro Sean was still living next door. Oh no, Mom says, they just call him Sean because he comes over to do laundry and use their phone for free.

Nice.

(Have you noticed that, at times, there's really no mercy in my family? Here's a great example: This is honestly one of my first memories. I'm four-ish. My oldest brother & sister decided to play I Got Your Nose with me. They refuse to give it back. I think they really have my nose. They, being evil and sadistic, run into the kitchen, throw my nose into the sink and my sister turns on the garbage disposal. I honestly remember thinking my nose was similar to ground beef, then my memory goes black, it's to difficult to go there. Shell tells me though that I was so hysterical that she had to take me to a mirror to show me my nose was actually intact.)


Family Guy -> Got your nose - video powered by Metacafe

I digress.

So Easter.
Naturally, I go next door, introduce myself, learn his name, and hold it over Mom's head the rest of vay-cay. Or at least until my stupid boyfriend at the time told her his name! No Fun! And he wonders why we broke up! Just kidding.... kinda...

Anywho - Mom was telling me the other day about how the latest and greatest neighbor has been over a lot trying to figure out a way to hook up his computer to their Internet connection.

Uhhh...

My first question: Why?
Mom: So he doesn't have to pay.
Me: Uhhh... but you do.
Mom: Yeah.
Me:

My second question: You don't know his name, do you Mom?
Mom: (giggling) No.....

My parents are seriously the most entertaining people I know.

I love it. I love them.

Lesson learned

3/4 of a bottle of wine + George's Dad dying on Grey's + PMS = hysterical sobbing

It really was quite the sight. Thank goodness it was a sight no one actually saw.

I think the dehydration from the crying and wine also led to some crazy dreams last night - in one of them I saved GD Sean's life, so of course, I had to call him this morning to relay the dream to him. I have this ridiculous, self-imposed voodoo thing - if I dream about someone like that then I feel like I need to tell them (warn them?) about my dream. Especially GD Sean - I've convinced myself that Seany and I have a twin-sense.

We aren't twins.

But we look alike, doesn't that count?? And he is one of my favoritist people. Eva.

Anywho, I like to interpret my dream when it's especially weird or vivid - here's what it said about my dream with Seany:

To dream that you rescue someone from drowning, indicates that you have successfully acknowledged certain emotions and characteristics that is symbolized by the drowning victim.

That's some intense shit. I do feel you Sean, I totally feel you.

Rosie saw it too!

I told you Paula was wasted! Rosie agrees!

Tupperware Party!

Hey Everyone!
K-Daddy is hosting a Tupperware party & you're all invited.

When: Next time he goes out to eat for lunch
Where: Most likely Kim Sun
Who: You, K-Daddy, and alllll his coworkers
Just bring along your favorite Tupperware to pack up your leftovers after lunch - that's what he does! Save the environment and your food at the same time!

This is the same guy that ate lunch with a homeless man while on family vay-cay in D.C. He stopped to ask the guy where to get some "smokes" (K-Daddy's 80's terminology, not mine). Turns out it was the store that he was standing in front of. When he came out the homeless guy asked to bum a smoke. How can you turn that down??
Then someone came out of a nearby Chinese restaurant and offered the homeless man food from an order that had been cancelled.

My first question in him retelling this story - 1 fork or 2? His reply - I don't think there were any utensils.

Ewwww.....

Hmmmm...

Is it strange, funny, or just sad that my arm is actually sore from the amount of clothing that I was carrying around Old Navy yesterday?

Should I be embarrassed that my arm is that weak or that I tried on/purchased that much?

I ended up buying....
1 pair socks
2 pair earrings
2 pair dress pants
1 pair sweat pants for the Ry Guy
1 scarf
3 sweaters (pretty sure I'm returning one though... it's driving me CRAZY!)
2 camis
1 short sleeve t-shirt
1 long sleeve t-shirt

I tried on an additional pair of pants and 3-4 shirts. So I guess I was carrying around quite a bit. Perhaps my new workout?

Seriously, Paula!

Paula was totally having camera-sex at one point during the American Idol auditions tonight. Camera-sex is pretty much the same thing as cheer-sex. You know, Bring it On?

[Torrance is spotted making eyes at Cliff Pantone while cheering.]

Whitney: You're, like, totally his eye-candy.

Courtney: God, I can't believe you'd do that to Aaron.

Whitney: Especially with him.

Torrance: What are you talking about?

Whitney: Don't play dumb with us. We're better at it than you.

Courtney: You were having cheer-sex with him.

Anywho, Paula is being so ri-donk-ulous that I think I might end up watching the entire season just for her.

I hate...

1) cold toes

2) the white skin stuff on oranges

3) Anise and anything with anise in it

4) hearing my coworker talk about being sick

5) sneezing - it's annoying, loud, and if it happens in public you have to be worried that something came out without prior approval/notice

6) livers and gizzards, which makes me an outcast in my family - along with Mom!

7) Gorgonzola and blue cheese - that shit tastes rotten to me. I try it again every couple of months, each time I get the sensation that someone has just vomited in my mouth. How can it taste good to so many people???
This website shows how to make your own blue cheese. I have an easier plan - buy cheese, let it rot for months, eat it. Vomit.

a few of my favorite things...

You already know what I do at work... here's a few more of my favorite things!








This is from a fav blog of mine.






Facebook isn't realllly one of my favorite things, but it's pretty damn fun to look up my coworkers & find out just how stupid some of them really are - making comments about coworkers, the office, and extremly personal details that I relish in sharing! moohahahah!
But... Facebook is going downhill with some recent changes.

Finally, another great little something that always gets me through Monday mornings!

Gargoyles!

Hallelujah & praise the Lord! The God Warrior is back on Trading Spouses!!! Friday, 9/8 central!!!

This is a great interpretation of Margaret freaking out. The audio is rough, but it's still good.



Between drunk Paula and Crazy Christians, Fox is the place to be!

What the Abdul was that?

I was so happy to talk to my friend Jamie last night & hear someone else say exactly what I was thinking - that Paula Abdul was wasted last night on American Idol. She was totally out of it, at times closing her eyes, wobbling back and forth, flinging her arms about. They never showed her critique of any of the performers - in fact, the only words she muttered were the Yes or No to Hollywood.

I wonder if I would have noticed if I hadn't seen the recent news coverage about her interviews that she is seemingly wasted in...

Beautious

I had to share this beautiful picture K-Daddy took of Mike's cake. It's art.

Jammin'

I'm not going to pretend to try to explain how this works beyond it plays songs that are currently posted on music blogs. And I love it. Check out The Hype Machine .

White Trash Bellini's

Erin's White Trash Bellini's:

1 can of Bacardi's Fuzzy Navel frozen mix
1-2 bottles of champagne
ice


Blend the ice and mix with a little champagne. Once well-blended, add champagne to taste.

Who are we kidding? The ratio of champagne to mix really depends on which cost more, the $2.35 Bacardi mixer, or, in my case, the $3.59 champagne. (that's right, something cheaper than Andre!)

Equally important in this recipe is quantity. Although the mixer was cheaper, I only had one can, so champagne was actually used to "thin" the drink out.

Remember, White Trash is in the title.

Serve in paper cup. You can rim the cup with Tang or pixie stix if it's for a fancy occasion.

Child's play!

Shoots and Ladders ain't what it used to be.... now Shots and Ladders. A bit more dangerous than the original. Ignore that hand. The Ry Guy and I tore up Trivial Pursuit that night too. Ok, so mostly the RG, but I contributed a bit... I knew that Rosie's wife's name is Kelli. That's worth something - at least in Trivial Pursuit DVD.

I wish I was able to go to K-Daddy's annual birthday celebration (not that I'm assuming I'm invited) - unfortunately I have another one of the RG's friends weddings. (that last italics was totally gratuitous. Sorry.) Anywho, it's usually a good time that involves heavy drinking and games such as Cranium. Last time I played with them my partner had to wake me up each time it was our turn. What can I say? They are powerhouses!

All I know is I want to have a game decathlon like they did on My Boys. I really do. Who's in?

ML What?

In honor of the fact that everyone else is off work today, the Ry Guy proclaimed that this is an at-work holiday.

Excellent! Now I'm guilt free for surfing People, Perez and PopCandy!

This is crap. Not only do I not get a snow day, I also don't get MLK Day! At least we're fair in our disregard of holidays - we didn't get Columbus day either. This really is a day on, not a day off.

I have a dream that one day I will work somewhere that actually is closed on MLK Day. I have a dream....

Felicidades!!

We celebrated Mike's big ol' 60th birthday today. Finally - he really deserves that senior citizen discount he's been asking for since I was 5 and he was 40.

Anywho, it was a great day! Dad's cake was amazing. I love it. Love it! Here are some of my favorite pics.

This was fo' sho' my fav part -

So after we sang Happy Birthday to Dad, we sang Happy Birthday to K-Daddy! (check out that beard!)
And... after we sang Happy Birthday to K-Daddy.... we sang Happy Birthday to Ang! January is birthday central for the fam.

ice snow blar blar

The worst part of all this snow and ice isn't the fact that I've cleaned my windows at least 5 times in the last 24, the worst part is hearing everyone bitch about how bad it is.

I'm offering this instead - on my way home from watching 24 at the Ry Guy's house, I travelled State Line. This is what I saw.

Busted

Looking up bad words in the Mac store on the Plaza Saturday - the sales person walked up just as I was looking at all the word combos under ass on the built in dictionary program. I must buy a Mac.

Almost good.

Grey's Anatomy last night was the show of almosts.

Meredith almost stopped snoring. She also almost talked to her dad.

Alex and Addison almost kissed.

George's dad almost died and George and Callie almost get back together.

Christina and Burke almost talked to each other - and we almost found out how his hand is healing.

Izzie almost got involved with a patient and almost spent her money.

Mark (McSteamy) almost had a scene worth watching.

The show was almost good.

Did you know?

That people use Imodium to ... ahem... prevent the need to.... ok, I'm just going to say it. Poop. I just found out through a rather bizarre conversation that some of my friends plan their poopin'.

How did this topic come up? How does a conversation evolve to this level? Easily! We were discussing how being nervous can affect you, which led to someone saying that they vomit when they are nervous or very excited, which led to me telling that ever since I had to hold my sister's dress while she peed before walking down the isle my fear for my wedding day is that in a big white dress I'll have to have someone help me....poop. (btdubs, Shell is pry lol b/c I said pooooooop! Poop!) This goes back to high school - before a game everyone on the team always had to use the restroom. We even all called it a pre-game. Don't know what I'm talking about? Go find a runner. They know the meaning of a pre-game - well, maybe not the term, but they'll understand exactly where I'm coming from.

Anywho, after I told my gal pals my fear, one said, no biggie, just take Imodium a day or so before. Wha??

Apparently this is something that people do - like before a float trip when you are going to be gone all day and in an unsavory location for such a deed. I don't know what other situations would call for the use of such a preventative method... visiting a girlfriend/boyfriend's parents for the first time?

Now my friend did mention how her friend with Crohn's takes Imodium before special events - formal dances, before her bachelorette party, etc. But, she has a preexisting medical condition. Wouldn't I just be asking for trouble to take a medication that I've (thankfully) never had a need for previously?

And... I can't help but imagine that it would be rather uncomfortable. So what's worse? Having to find that special someone to hold my dress while I poo? Or being bloated and passing gas at the alter, then needing, what? An enema on your wedding night?

Yikes, this blog is going nowhere fast!

Needless to say, at the end of the convo when our friend that is getting married soon said she'd have to think about it, our immediate response, in unison was, "Try it before the wedding!"

$7.25??

This story is pretty incredible - explaining how the new minimum wage might affect workers and businesses as it follows an Atchison man living the $7.25/hour life.

The new minimum wage would be a somewhat gradual increase over 26 months, but after 10 years without change, that doesn't seem very gradual.

Really, how far away am I really from making $7.25?

A raise! JK

This just once again makes me think about how lucky I am - and makes you consider the whole sliding doors theory, or basically there but for the grace of God..

Thanks for passing the story along K-Daddy.

Diagnosis....

Hanta Virus! It makes complete sense, especially with the roof rat problem and all.

I don't know if I'm going to make it through today hacking so much. Hopefully someone will hear me coughing & have sympathy/germphobia and tell me to go home.

Diagnosis.... Nothing.

I'm sick.
I hate it.

So I just got back from the doctor. I assume that since he didn't give me an official diagnosis, only a prescription for antibotics, that I'm at liberty to make up my own diagnosis.

This morning I told people I had the Pneu. Or walking Pneu. (I really prefer The Pneu to Pneumonia btw) The Pneu is totally tired now. I think I'm going to start telling people about my black lung disease. Which, ironically enough, could technically also be called The Pneu (Pneumoconiosis). But I just won't share that tid-bit. I don't have any other ideas right now for diseases/conditions for tomorrow. Cancer is too hard-core. Black lung is just hard-core and emo sounding enough.

Btdubs, (and btdubs to that btdubs, I thought I was the only one that said that, but according to urbandictionary I'm totally not alone!) the Doctor asked if my toe was better. How embarassing/good to know he cares. awww...

A couple of things...

I'm hacking up chunks of my lungs tonight. Ew.

I updated Party Starter with pictures.

Trading Spouses is better than Wife Swap. Although WS has the way cooler title. Here are the reasons why -
1) TS is on Fox, so automatically you know it's going to be trashier and that equals better!
2) TS gives away money, but the other family gets to decide how you can spend it. A way better ending than just, oh we all learned so much, blar blar blar.
3) This crazy crazy crazy lady wins it all. It was so dark sided! I think someone pulled that "every dark sided person out of my house if you believe in Jesus you can stay here" at a boy-girl party I went to in 5th grade. So confusing! Are they just trying to see if I'm cool and dark sided? Or are they for realz like this lady?

Even if you get sick of her and want to stop watching, just skip ahead to 5:47 and watch the last seconds. Classic.

No one else was!

So Saturday was a great night, despite the losses of both the Chiefs and KSU mens team. Who I am kidding? Like that would ever affect my night!! Unlike Melinda and Andy apparently...

Anyways, Melinda concocted a very special and potential extremely stupid, dangerous and illegal game called, "No one else was!"

As in, no one else was wearing hoodies out on Saturday night at Harpos!

No one else was bringing SexyBack to sweats!

No one else was eating the cupcakes at the birthday party we were at!

And... no one else was high-fiving. Although I remember taking this picture to remind myself of what we were laughing and high-fiving over, I can't remember what it is now. Damn!

An excellent night.

Best list of best lists

This is a must-read. Hi-lariously true. End of year lists usually suck, but a list of the most annoying things of '06? Love it.

New fears

And I thought losing my shoes in the toilet was the worse thing possible. Not so!

So somehow

I'm officially a subscriber to Maxim magazine....

Ok, so it's because I had frequent flier miles that were going to expire and I could either pay to keep them active or use them for two magazine subscriptions. The options were so pathetic. I'm pretty sure the High Plains Journal was one. So I got Maxim and something else. I can't remember what... perhaps I'll go check my mail!! It's like a crappy Christmas - who knows what magazine I'll get next!!

I'll be watching you...

Stalking of the 21st century really is a fabulous thing. I don't know that I believe people who might tell me that they haven't cyber-stalked. How can you resist? It's almost impossible at times! Between MySpace, Facebook and Google, I've done my fair share of stalking. Not like it's serious though - I'm talking Googling a date, Facebooking people I went to high school with, and MySpacing coworkers that have ridiculousness posted. All harmless, and extremely entertaining.

As a matter of fact, Facebooking really hit an all time awesomeness level when a young, male coworker of mine started putting stupid (drunk pics with dumb captions, invites to keggers) and offensive (saying his job title was "Connoisseur of the Vaginal Arts" - his words, not mine - and the idiot still listed the actual name of the company we work for!) things on his Facebook. All of his dumbness reached a climax when photos from a party that he had invited half the company to (including people in HR and other divisions he didn't know) got passed around multiple divisions within the company. Hi-larious.

Anywho, all this talk of stalking comes about because, well, I'm watching you. I'm watching you, watch me. Google has this fabulous application (or whatever the hell it is) that tells you how many visits and page views you've had and where they are coming from! Como são você Portugal! 您好吗 China!! Woooohooo!! I'm totally international! (I'm assuming this is going to accelerate the printing of my book in multiple languages)

Then I had an even more awesome discovery. I can not only see what city, state and country you are in, but also your domain (or host or whatever that's called too). So the other day I found out that my aunt Nancy and my cousin were both slacking off at work! Nancy hasn't returned, so I feel like I can share her name. I love it!

And E.C., dang, do they know at your new job that you are already spending that much time on the 'net? LOL

Dang it Fred!

I had a voicemail when I got to work today from a friend advising me to change my external greeting on our work voicemail system. I got concerned considering 1) she was giggling the entire time she told me to change it 2) I had struggled on Tuesday night with recording my message and had to redo it several times, all while talking to my cube-mate, Fred.

So, I logged into our voicemail system and this is what I heard:

"You have reached Erin. I'm sorry I missed your call. Please leave your name, number and detailed information and I wull (supposed to be will) return your call as soon as possible. If you are calling dor (mess up again) Dang it Fred! I really thought I had it this time! Man! And now I don't even know how to make it stop recording. Oh, pound.

-pause-

You have reached Erin. I'm sorry I missed your call. Please leave your name, number and detailed information and I will return your call as soon as possible. If you are calling during normal business hours and would like to speak to someone else in the company, press zero for the operator."

I tried to record the message onto my cell phone, and accidentally deleted it in the process. Apparently I need more voicemail training.

Orange Jumpsuits are the New Little Black Dress

That's what I learned in Court today.

Actually I learned that court is ew. Lots of people. Hot. Smelly. Cramped. Just really kind of ew. Also a small dose of awkward - hearing people telling the judge why they can't afford to pay their fines, why they don't have insurance, tags, a driver's license and why that shouldn't matter.

Ugh.

So I paid to get my speeding ticket changed to a non-moving violation. Fun!

Erin's Court

It's like the People's Court, but with less baby mama drama. (plus ever since Wopner left, People's Court sucks)

I have court Wednesday at 8 a.m. And in the words of my friend Cher, I'm totally buggin'. Not that Cher! Cher Horowitz! You know... Clueless! Only like, one of the best movies, ever. Geesh.

Anywho, I'm really hoping that it's drama-free. Is there such a thing as a drama-free court date?

Damn, what kind of way is this to start out the new year!??! If '06 was Awkward is '07 Illegal? Illegal in '07? Nah....

New Years... again!

This is New Year's Eve 2005 Erin. I'm happy that Awkward in '06 has come to an end! Here the Ry Guy and I demonstrate how to be tough in the New Year. I think our inspiration was the hat that he now wears as often as possible. And... a kiss!

Party Starter - Updated!

I'm going out today to watch the Chiefs and KSU men's basketball - sick or not dang it! I haven't hung out with my friend Melinda in way too long.

Melinda is one of the most fun friends I have. This past summer we went to a concert in Lawrence followed by excitement on Mass Street. Things really picked up when we went to Brothers - a huge college bar that was packed full of people - everywhere except the dance floor. I looked around, realized that I most likely didn't know anyone there, heard a song from Napoleon Dynamite playing, and decided it was time to get this party started.

I went up to the dance floor and started getting my groove on. My very dorky Napoleonesque groove. Melinda (uncharacteristically) was watching me from the side of the floor and yelled to me that there were people there that knew us. I turned to face the bar and said, "I don't know him, I don't know her, I don't know them, I don't know anyone here!"I kid you not, at that exact same moment, a girl I went to high school with yelled out, "Erin!!!!"

Hmmmm... so I was wrong. But really, no going back from there!

Melinda quickly joined me. 10 minutes later, so did the entire bar.

The whole night really was like a Disney movie or something - people were actually saying, "hey, you're the one who started the dancing!" Sticking in their minds that clearly was probably a direct effect of my poor/ridiculous dancing, but, eh, whatevies! It was such a fun night.

- I'm bummed I can't locate the pictures of me dancing alone, then with about 100 other people. I'll load them Monday. For now, just trust the story!